when i was a kid,
my mother bought me a doll.i think my mother would have been okay with me being gay tbh.
it wasn’t barbie or a baby doll,
but it was def a doll the size of a ninja turtle.
i loved this doll and played with it along with my action figures.
the way i played with toys was usually superhero shit.
the female characters were either fighting or were “damsels to rescue”.
i would create worlds with my imagination,
often times taking boxes and making tanks or battleships.
well,
one day my doll up and disappeared.
anytime my grandmother wasn’t home,
i tore her house down looking for my doll.
at a young age,
i could sense fuck shit so i KNEW she had something to do with it.
when my mother died,
she admitted she tossed it in the trash.
when i tell people this story,
they were always empathetic.
i was also told from many people that incident created trauma too.
the things our parentals did to make sure “we weren’t gay“.
when i see parents like…
mama dee traumatizing scrappy with strippers at 14 so he wouldn’t “carry a purse”:
and tami roman not allowing her daughter’s girlfriend to attend her graduation because she was “uncomfortable with it“:
i had to wonder:
how much of our ‘healing’ is really just us trying to find the parts of ourselves our parentals couldn’t handle?
…and jokes on my grandmother and father,
i ended up loving dick anyway so:
they should be proud because i fucked with the type of wolves they wanted me to be.
if i couldn’t be ’em; fuck em
…amirte?
i’m sure those same wolves had their own set of issues from their parentals as well.
look at us creating generational curses.
lowkey: i keep fonting i know a jackal from my past who i suspect son is gay.the same jackal was trying to get up in my tail but that’s a whole nother story.
he is trying to “butch him up” with sports and shit.
that is not going to end well but he was an asshole to me so it good for him.
I’m not sure, but something about this upset me for multiple reasons. The first thing is the hypocrisy. Momma Dee did the same thing that Boosie did and deserves the same smoke that he got, but since she is a black woman, she’s going to get a relative pass on the nonsense.
My next issue is with Nick Cannon and that other black woman up there laughing and egging the conversation on; they should know better, and they should’ve checked Momma Dee.
The next issue I have is this zombie ideology, ultimately, that a lack of a father in the home, especially when it comes to men, leads to homosexuality. Why do we just let people talk and spread false ideas without any evidence? There are plenty of men who came from two-parent households who still turned out to be gay. This idea that somehow your father being around and putting a basketball or football in your hand, or in extremely perverse situations, paying for you to have a sexual experience with a prostitute, will somehow make you straight is absolute craziness and maybe outright illegal.