when i was a kid,
my mother bought me a doll.
i think my mother would have been okay with me being gay tbh.
it wasn’t barbie or a baby doll,
but it was def a doll the size of a ninja turtle.
i loved this doll and played with it along with my action figures.

the way i played with toys was usually superhero shit.
the female characters were either fighting or were “damsels to rescue”.
i would create worlds with my imagination,
often times taking boxes and making tanks or battleships.

well,
one day my doll up and disappeared.
anytime my grandmother wasn’t home,
i tore her house down looking for my doll.
at a young age,
i could sense fuck shit so i KNEW she had something to do with it.

when my mother died,
she admitted she tossed it in the trash.

when i tell people this story,
they were always empathetic.
i was also told from many people that incident created trauma too.
the things our parentals did to make sure “we weren’t gay“.
when i see parents like…

many of us,
whether we like or not,
will be like the ones who raised us as we grow up.
i shudder the thought.
so yes reader,
as you get older,
you are becoming like your mother/father/grandmother/whoever.
some of you are shuddering at the thought.
i am working on breaking that generational curse in my own life.
so i’m going to font you something that i want you to read carefully.
ready?…

Whether you are a total wolf,
total fox,
or a total hybrid.
Whether you don’t want your penis touched or you do.
Whether you never want to suck or to be sucked…

I’m letting you know that I,
Jamari Fox,
supports you in WHATEVER you choose to do.

here is the thing…

Continue reading “reminder: you are becoming like your mother and its a real downer :-(“ →