on netflix,
there is a documentary on about matthew perry called “the one about matthew perry“.
he played chandler bing on “friends” for those who don’t know.
anyhoo,
something happened in the documentary that really sat with me…

when matthew perry was struggling as an up and coming actor,
he said a prayer to God:

“God, you can do whatever you want to me,
just please make me famous.”

…3 weeks later,
he got the role on “friends” but being famous is what ultimately destroyed him.

“there is power in the tongue”

…but it made me wonder:

what are we actually supposed to say/font when we want or need something?

…because it seems what whatever we want to manifest,
there is always a “bad” side to it.

are we supposed to be more detailed in what we desire?
are we supposed to recognize the great along with the terrible?
are we supposed to experience something that is meant to break us?

watching that doc,
i learned that matthew perry was painfully insecure and troubled within.
even with the worldwide fame,
it didn’t quiet the demons within him…

…which explains why he got hooked on drinking and drugs as a form of escape from his mind.

so i guess the real question is:

should we be 110% secure within ourselves when praying for things?

…because i don’t think many of us are truly ready for what we want.
whether its:

a relationship
a career
a fame

God will give us what we want,
even when we aren’t ready for it.
i don’t know if i mentioned this on here or not but i heard a prayer that goes like:

“God,
you know what’s best for my life.
whatever it is that you want for me,
i will accept that.”

…or something like that.
i can’t remember the exact prayer but its basically accepting and surrendering,
but what if some of our lives are actually supposed to end tragically,
even with all the praying and “the laws of attraction“?

was matthew perry supposed to have all those circumstances in his life,
regardless of what he prayed for?

…and isn’t that actually really scary to think about?

lowkey: this tiktok really spoke to me…