i always find it eerie when someone’s posts their final pic,
tweet,
or status message before their untimely death.
sydney loofe was on her way for a second date with who she thought was “the one”,
but didn’t realize that would be the last night she would be alive.

she was found cut up in pieces in 13 trash bags on the side of the highway.

i was creeped out while watching a hulu docuseries,
“swipe right on the devil“,
and it had me shook at like 3am.
it was only 3 episodes but i had to finish.
she met her end matching with psychopaths on on tinder,
but the entire docuseries takes you down a crazy rabbit hole.
as they were looking for her body,
all kinds of other wild shit was happening too.
there was a main thought on my mind that stood out while watching…

he is into you.
it’s pretty obvious that he’s attracted to you.
he treats you like you are his boyfriend without officially saying/fonting it yet.
the issue tho:

he is in a “situation” with a vixen,
whether married or partnered up.

those types are always so attractive,
aren’t they?
forbidden fruit usually is.
so you are fakin’ it til you make it,
being open and available while he navigates between you both.
like a temp-to-perm job,
your goal is to be hired.
have you noticed something tho…

i was telling my therapist today that i really admire “the bold bitch“.
karaoke is one of my first examples in life of “the bold bitch”.
i have really admired her since i first met her.
she isn’t mean or rude to people.
people love being around her.
she just has that “she don’t play that“.
she isn’t easily shaken and is in control of herself.

B. I. T. C H.
“BEING IN TOTAL CONTROL of HERSELF”

my first example of it was when we we worked together…

foxhole,
a friend of mine asked me today:

“what does your healing look like?”

i thought it was a good question.
my healing looks like…

i watched a netflix documentary called,
“maternal instinct“.
it was about a sociopathic she-hyena named taylor parker.
in a elevator Fohxole pitch of why you should watch,
she murdered her friend and cut her newborn out of her stomach.

she did it to maintain a fantasy she created,
especially a fake pregnancy.
what got me was not just how horrific the crime was,
but it was everyone around her who believed her lies.

how did so many people ignore the red flags?
how did her man keep believing her,
even when things stopped making sense?

it reminded me of jackals who catfish,
but it really reminded me of some of these blatant scamming attentionistos on OF.
there are times i read stories and i’m like:

“HOW…
did you fall for this obvious nonsense?“

someone explained it in a way that gave me an “a-ha” moment…

i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…