i’ll never forget someone telling me about people who perished in 9/11.
they said that many of those people probably don’t even know they have died,
so there spirits are stuck in a loop,
repeating that day over and over.
that is why there a heavy energy down there.
its literally an open graveyard.
who knows if we are walking by actual people or ghosts.
never forget.

when people say a house is haunted,
that means the spirit in the house hasn’t been released.
that is why i learned there is no reason to be scared of it/them.
we need to let it know its safe to move forward and be free.

follow me to where i’m leading with this.

earlier today,
i was talking with fancy and she mentioned negative self talk.
she said that its like…

i have a question for you:

are some males actually out of our league?
or is that the story we chose to tell ourselves in fear of rejection?

…until we meet someone who we think is “out of our league”,
and they show us that regardless of what we think we don’t have,
they are attracted to something we do have.
we been in our own bawdies for a long time so we know what works,
doesn’t work,
what we wish we had that would make things work,
and what has become “what we think makes us ugly“.
karaoke said something to me that i had to share with The Foxhole:

“people really need to start telling themselves a new story in their heads.”

i saw this thread on reddit and i wanted to share it on the Foxhole…

nowadays,
corny for me is:

the over saturation of the self absorbed.

it’s the posing,
lightweight advertising,
but having absolutely no other redeemable traits outside of that.
worst of all:

using sex to sell an OF,
promoting private videos for sale,
and scamming…

…and got the audacity to be rude in DMS.

like,
what?
many of the vixens have a corniness to them too.

posing half naked,
showing and throwing ass,
getting pregnant,
and confused why they’re fucked and dumped for someone doing less than that.

anyone using body parts and sex can attract anyone.
none of these people are keeping em past a few months,
lucky if they go a year.
i learned very quickly after the following i find baller wolf,
russell wilson,
to be extremely sexy when many people have labeled him as “corny”…

in that pic,
he looks like how i feel.
pfft.

once upon a time,
i was an idiot who wanted to see the good in people after they said “sorry”.
those were fun times of learning that:

anyone can say they’re sorry when they’re sorry about their current circumstances.

it doesn’t mean they’re genuinely sorry.
we have programmed by our parentals that one word asking for forgiveness holds weight.
we were told to take an apology only to learn it meant shit in the long run,
especially when it came from siblings.

there are legit murderer that said they were sorry during sentencing,
all in hopes of getting off or a lighter sentence.

how many times has our toxic exes said they were “sorry”?
friends who hurt us and see we are doing better coming back with apologies?
“the one that let you get away” suddenly realizes you were the right one for them?

so when i saw kanye put out a full page spread in the “wall street journal“,
apologizing to the jewish and black communities for his past harmful behavior…

i hate when people who don’t want kids are continuously asked why they don’t want kids,
like certain childless celebs or people who get continuously asked by their parents or relatives.

BECAUSE THEY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE THEM OR DON’T WANT THEM.

not everyone’s desire is to be a parent.
better yet,
some people can’t have kids because their bawdies won’t allow them to.
that can be very insulting and nasty especially from parents.

“when you gonna get me some grand babies?”,
like,
you weren’t even a good parent to me so why would i leave my child with you,
ya insufferable bitch.

Foxhole,
don’t go sayin’ that to your mother cause she may slap you.
i was thinking to myself yesterday:

“at no point in my life have i ever wanted to be a dad.”

i have never felt the urgency for fatherhood.
i see cute kids all the time,
and many of my friends have adorable kids but…

first of all,
i love “industry” on HBO MAX.
i randomly started watching it when it was heading into the 3rd season.
binged it in like 2 days or so.
its got the sex,
drugs,
and “something to nothing” shit i love.
highly recommend even though when they start talking finance and stock shit,
i am always left feeling confused.

last night,
they came back for their 4th season.

Foxhole:

IT WAS GOOD.

i needed that energy especially after what i’m dealing with.
there is a scene that i’m still thinking about.
this is kinda spoiler but not really.
it doesn’t give away a plot point but…