an air mattress, TV on the floor, and a few clothes in the closet

I want everyone to look at this picture.

many of us are scared of this picture.

It represents fallen off.
It represents the truth behind the facade.
It represents being broke.
It represents hitting rock bottom.

…and all of those things are true.
starting over isn’t always glamorous.
starting over can look exactly like that picture.
an air mattress,
a TV on the floor,
and some clothes in the closet.
it’s at someone’s house you gotta crash at and it’s just the air mattress.
for those who have to restart our lives:

It can mean finally breaking free and creating a new life from scratch.

we live in a forest where everyone seems rich and put-together.
if we aren’t one uppin’ the millions of people on our timelines,
that means we are worthless.
when you don’t have that life right now,
or have to restart from the bottom,
it can feel like you’re miles behind everyone else.

Why don’t we ever embrace having to (re)start over?

when i look at that picture,
i feel a sense of peace.
it reminds me of the beginnings that comes with being a ninja.

When you go ghost on everyone to work on yourself
When you turn off all your social media apps so you aren’t distracted
When you leave behind a life that no longer serves you anymore
When you move away and this is all you got for right now

you’re moving forward with nothing but faith and spite in your pockets.
this is the new start of abuse victims who finally escaped.
everyone has an origin story.
everyone has a “started from the bottom and now we here” story.
that picture is (or might be) part of the new start to the story you have to tell.

You gotta (re)start somewhere.

it’s no secret that people who have this set up will fuck your brains out,
especially a male.
when a male got nothing but an air mattress to fuck you on,
he is gonna put in extra work to make sure you are satisfied.

broke folks tend to fuck the best.

2 thoughts on “an air mattress, TV on the floor, and a few clothes in the closet

  1. Hell nah shawty!

    Frfr tho, there’s no shame in starting over. The side eyes come in when you realize that ppl who are out in the streets living it up be at home living it waaay tf down! Why don’t you have more than 2 cups and forks, and where is the soap and the paper towels?! Trying to have ppl come over. Hell nah!

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