would never have went to that bitch’s wedding.

…not after she played in my face after fucking my ex.
damn sure wouldn’t be helping improve her life either.

although she is vibe,
on season 3; episode 7 of “rain or shine” on “euphoria”,
maddy’s recent downfall was being too kind.

i felt that in my entire spirit.
by answering cassie’s DM to reconnect,
and going back to something that God removed her from,
maddy ended up losing A LOT.
i was expecting a whole revenge plot from maddy this season tbh.
she fell for the okey doke and cassie reminded her that she was still beneath her.

sometimes,
we need to tell that spirit of forgiveness and re-connection to…

i always tell people that when a loved one dies,
your spirit will always remind you.
there are some years you may forget but on birthdays,
or death anniversaries,
you’ll suddenly remember out of nowhere.

“ooooh,
this is why i’ve been feeling so moody.
it’s “such and such” death anniversary…”

some years,
you’ll keep it moving because you are in a good headspace.
when you are going through a lot,
the sadness feels heavier even though it’s years or decades.

love never dies even if their physical isn’t there anymore.

as you know,
i’m dealing with a lot in this new chapter.
i’m grateful for everyone who reaches out to uplift and check in.
every year,
like clockwork around memorial day…

last night,
during the intro of “euphoria”,
something happened where i went:

“mmm.
this is too good to be true.”

it was about one of characters as a kid,
their mama met a potential step daddy,
and he was buying expensive shit to make her happy.
i was judging him,
waiting for the other shoe to drop,
when my friend said…

i guess,
when i think about it,
i have learned a lot since i left new yawk.
it made me wonder:

was moving here actually a test?

earlier last week at work,
i could sense my boss wasn’t in the greatest of moods.
that might be a cancer thing where we sense emotions well,
but i believe my senses have been heightened with all i been dealing with.
he snapped at me over something trivial,
but since he owns the business,
that trivial fuck up means a lot to him.
instead of snapping back,
or explaining myself like the young fox used to do when he got in trouble:

apologized for the trivial fuck up
immediately shut the fuck up and let him talk
let him have his time to stabilize their emotions
went back to scrolling the nets when he went back to his office

on friday,
he came up to me and did something i didn’t see coming…

in many instances,
each and any of us are the drama.
there are people who look at like like:

“damn,
they always got some shit going on.”

we all have issues,
crazy,
quirks,
and kinks.
we have all done shit that we could be judged heavily for.
i watched a movie called,
“the drama“,
and Foxhole:

IT WAS SO GOOD.

without giving it away,
“the drama” was one of the characters revealing “the worst thing they ever did”.
what they admitted was a doozy but personally,
i wouldn’t have reacted so harshly.
i have emotional intelligence and would at least need more context for the “why?”.
everyone ain’t me tho.
while all the other characters admitted to doing things much worse,
they took turns dog piling on the character who shared their truth.
this bitch:

…being the “everyone else“.
the movie made me think of when you’re asked to tell your truth…

in my head,
and i’ve ( x fonted it before ),
something happened to flash brown.
i don’t know if it was when he was in prison,
or just the path of male sex work in general,
but his outcome is really interesting.
as you know,
he looked like this before:

^you can listen to this interview from 2015 on youtube

…but like a pokemon,
he has evolved into what appears to be his final to the final form.
an F-BI sent me “mya” and Foxhole…