inside jamari fox

“euphoria” ended how it was supposed to end.
i don’t like how the final third season went at times,
because it almost felt like a completely different show.
nate jacobs in his humiliation ritual arc being the main one.

it felt like the creator of “euphoria”,
sam levinson,
cut nate’s balls off,
made him wear the dog outfit cassie had on,
and had him be his little bitch until he was euthanized.
along with that story line,
labrinth being cut from music (because he created a whole mood),
and jules being pretty useless,
i think the ending was pretty solid.
spoilers included…

one thing that gets my Foxhole open is a stacked wolf like ^above.
marshun “bend me over the sink” cooper is the “stacked wolf” in this fontversation.
marshun has been a Foxhole Fav since his debut on marvin bienaime.
we lusted him so much,
The Foxhole was the first to drop that pipe leakage.
( x go back to 2017 )
my F-BI can be so…
inquisitive.

anyhoo,
marshun has done nude modeling for marvin since then.
in my fantasies,
i’ve always wondered:

“does marshun know how to use that beautiful pipe of his?”

well,
the inquisitive F-BI dropped a “cheer me up” goodie basket.
it was filled with an alleged stroke resume for review…

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would never have went to that bitch’s wedding.

…not after she played in my face after fucking my ex.
damn sure wouldn’t be helping improve her life either.

although she is vibe,
on season 3; episode 7 of “rain or shine” on “euphoria”,
maddy’s recent downfall was being too kind.

i felt that in my entire spirit.
by answering cassie’s DM to reconnect,
and going back to something that God removed her from,
maddy ended up losing A LOT.
i was expecting a whole revenge plot from maddy this season tbh.
she fell for the okey doke and cassie reminded her that she was still beneath her.

sometimes,
we need to tell that spirit of forgiveness and re-connection to…

i always tell people that when a loved one dies,
your spirit will always remind you.
there are some years you may forget but on birthdays,
or death anniversaries,
you’ll suddenly remember out of nowhere.

“ooooh,
this is why i’ve been feeling so moody.
it’s “such and such” death anniversary…”

some years,
you’ll keep it moving because you are in a good headspace.
when you are going through a lot,
the sadness feels heavier even though it’s years or decades.

love never dies even if their physical isn’t there anymore.

as you know,
i’m dealing with a lot in this new chapter.
i’m grateful for everyone who reaches out to uplift and check in.
every year,
like clockwork around memorial day…

last night,
during the intro of “euphoria”,
something happened where i went:

“mmm.
this is too good to be true.”

it was about one of characters as a kid,
their mama met a potential step daddy,
and he was buying expensive shit to make her happy.
i was judging him,
waiting for the other shoe to drop,
when my friend said…

i guess,
when i think about it,
i have learned a lot since i left new yawk.
it made me wonder:

was moving here actually a test?

earlier last week at work,
i could sense my boss wasn’t in the greatest of moods.
that might be a cancer thing where we sense emotions well,
but i believe my senses have been heightened with all i been dealing with.
he snapped at me over something trivial,
but since he owns the business,
that trivial fuck up means a lot to him.
instead of snapping back,
or explaining myself like the young fox used to do when he got in trouble:

apologized for the trivial fuck up
immediately shut the fuck up and let him talk
let him have his time to stabilize their emotions
went back to scrolling the nets when he went back to his office

on friday,
he came up to me and did something i didn’t see coming…