Posted in LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE STREET WALKER TALK ABOUT THAT "D"

press “p” in your teen’s browser history for pokemon

*the following entry is rated r.
viewer discretion is advised.

i’ll never forget the first time i watched porn.
around like 10 or so,
cousin hybrid and i were rummaging through my mama’s crib.
he had come to visit from barbados and she took the family to be tourists.
at the time,
my stepfather (mi’s father) was in-between living situations.
foxhole…

He had so many porn DVDs in my mama’s closet.

gadzooks.
i think he was a sex addict tbh.
he had 13 kids with different vixens all over the city.

we watched one and this one black porn star nutted like a geyser in this vixen’s face.
i was so grossed out and wondering wtf was coming out of his dick.
who woulda knew i’d grow up to love it in either on face or mouth.
anyhoo,
the bbc woman’s hour wants to know if there’s age-appropriate porn via “twitter”…

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Posted in I'M LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE A DOOFUS IT'S A DUB JACKALS, HYENAS, AND PINEAPPLES THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE THEY ONLY LIKE THEIR WATER AT ROOM TEMPERATURE WOW X MARKS THE FOX

dababy will be refereed to as “dadownbad” (or “dadownbadbaby”?)

you know when you open the oven after you preheat it and all that heat comes out?

 that is dababy.
he opened the oven and his little ass fell tf in.
you know when you’re in that “idc” phase,
your adrenaline is pumping with massive amounts of “no fucks to give”.
once it (and you) start to come down,
you start seeing how much land that you burned.
i loved this pr apology that he posted on his ig:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by LONG LIVE G (@dababy)

because anyone with common sense knows he didn’t formulate those sentences.

right after dababy posted that,
he started to see how much he actually scorched in his nonsense…

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Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

accountability | july 26th thru august 1st

remember when we were kids and got sick?
the moment we had a cough or felt colder than usual,
our parents let us stay home so we could sleep in and watch cartoons.
for me,
depending on how sick i was

it was sleeping in,
watching cartoons,
and playing video games.

when we were kids,
we didn’t have responsibilities since our parents are footing the bill.
as adults,
we can take a sick day (or 2) but we are footing the bill.
so i went to the doctor through teladoc last friday and...

Continue reading “accountability | july 26th thru august 1st”

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI UGH

currently on the red eye (like, i’m not even cappin’)

tonight,
i was supposed to be back in these forests.
i was all set to head with my peoples to this nice spot.
i had the outfit and smell goods ready.
my skin was on a level 10 of clean and clear.
even though i lost my id,
i was gonna sneak out and have some much-needed fun.
yesterday,
i decided to take a nap but when i woke up…

Continue reading “currently on the red eye (like, i’m not even cappin’)”

Posted in IT REEKS OF "ATTENTIONISTO" JACKALS, HYENAS, AND PINEAPPLES LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE NAH THEY HAVE NO CHILL BUTTON SUS THEY ONLY LIKE THEIR WATER AT ROOM TEMPERATURE UGH UM IM CONFUSED WOW X MARKS THE FOX

dababy is “giving what it’s supposed to give” and it’s “he don’t gaf”?

coincidence?
probably.
it’s how funny we can foreshadow scandals before they happen.
dababy shot the video for “giving what it supposed to give” before he told folks:

“If you didn’t show up today with HIV, AIDS, any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that’ll make you die in two, three weeks, then put your cellphone light up.”

my mind is still blown that he said that nonsense.
in the song,
he said…

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Posted in I'M LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU'RE A DOOFUS ITS A BIRD! ITS A PLANE!... NO ITS JUST RATCHET JACKALS, HYENAS, AND PINEAPPLES LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE NAH THEY HAVE NO CHILL BUTTON THE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO PUNCH IN THE FACE UGH WOW X MARKS THE FOX

boosie said lil nas x is a disrespectful “f” bomb and he’s gonna beat his ass

it’s crazy how you can be a decent person,
be respectful to everyone,
but if some pineapples find out you’re gay then you’re auto-canceled.
ever since boosie saw a male getting drilled in jail,
he has an extreme bitterness for anyone who is gay.
he didn’t mind his business then and he damn sure ain’t minding it now.
so apparently and allegedly,
lil nas x said he wanted to perform naked for charity?
in defense of dababy,
boosie went all the way off on lnx too…

Continue reading “boosie said lil nas x is a disrespectful “f” bomb and he’s gonna beat his ass”