i am a gay black fox who grew up in a mostly female dominated household.

granted,
there were sprinkles of males around,
but it was mostly female.
i can font that looking back at how i grew up…

i watched a netflix documentary called,
“maternal instinct“.
it was about a sociopathic she-hyena named taylor parker.
in a elevator Fohxole pitch of why you should watch,
she murdered her friend and cut her newborn out of her stomach.

she did it to maintain a fantasy she created,
especially a fake pregnancy.
what got me was not just how horrific the crime was,
but it was everyone around her who believed her lies.

how did so many people ignore the red flags?
how did her man keep believing her,
even when things stopped making sense?

it reminded me of jackals who catfish,
but it really reminded me of some of these blatant scamming attentionistos on OF.
there are times i read stories and i’m like:

“HOW…
did you fall for this obvious nonsense?“

someone explained it in a way that gave me an “a-ha” moment…

i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…

aww andy!
i would have respected if you kept the tweet up.
posting and deleting like rih’s social media don’t know how to screenshot?

i’d imagine one of his social media saavy nuclear kids would have told him.

so us representative of tennessee,
andy ogles,
could not contain his intrusive thoughts enough.
he went on X to throw salt on the gay parade for pride month.
i don’t recall us asking for his opinion,
nor did we realize he existed.
now he put a target on his back and the hunt for his hidden grindr begins.
they never learn,
do they?
my question to these kinds of straight jackals is always…

would never have went to that bitch’s wedding.

…not after she played in my face after fucking my ex.
damn sure wouldn’t be helping improve her life either.

although she is vibe,
on season 3; episode 7 of “rain or shine” on “euphoria”,
maddy’s recent downfall was being too kind.

i felt that in my entire spirit.
by answering cassie’s DM to reconnect,
and going back to something that God removed her from,
maddy ended up losing A LOT.
i was expecting a whole revenge plot from maddy this season tbh.
she fell for the okey doke and cassie reminded her that she was still beneath her.

sometimes,
we need to tell that spirit of forgiveness and re-connection to…

i always tell people that when a loved one dies,
your spirit will always remind you.
there are some years you may forget but on birthdays,
or death anniversaries,
you’ll suddenly remember out of nowhere.

“ooooh,
this is why i’ve been feeling so moody.
it’s “such and such” death anniversary…”

some years,
you’ll keep it moving because you are in a good headspace.
when you are going through a lot,
the sadness feels heavier even though it’s years or decades.

love never dies even if their physical isn’t there anymore.

as you know,
i’m dealing with a lot in this new chapter.
i’m grateful for everyone who reaches out to uplift and check in.
every year,
like clockwork around memorial day…