last night,
during the intro of “euphoria”,
something happened where i went:

“mmm.
this is too good to be true.”

it was about one of characters as a kid,
their mama met a potential step daddy,
and he was buying expensive shit to make her happy.
i was judging him,
waiting for the other shoe to drop,
when my friend said…

i guess,
when i think about it,
i have learned a lot since i left new yawk.
it made me wonder:

was moving here actually a test?

earlier last week at work,
i could sense my boss wasn’t in the greatest of moods.
that might be a cancer thing where we sense emotions well,
but i believe my senses have been heightened with all i been dealing with.
he snapped at me over something trivial,
but since he owns the business,
that trivial fuck up means a lot to him.
instead of snapping back,
or explaining myself like the young fox used to do when he got in trouble:

apologized for the trivial fuck up
immediately shut the fuck up and let him talk
let him have his time to stabilize their emotions
went back to scrolling the nets when he went back to his office

on friday,
he came up to me and did something i didn’t see coming…

i managed to save up a whole stack so far.
i’m trying to be on the next thing smoking,
sooner than later.
if i can get 3k in the next 2 months,
i’m gonna put down my security deposit on my own place.

i was trying to be in The Foxhole this week,
find my rhythm again,
but it gets difficult when you’re staying with a chaos agent (maybe i’ll nickname them that)
this week was yet another installment of:

“the jordan peele movie that i didn’t know i was casted in”

the latest drama was them losing the whole apartment…

sometimes after the breakup,
i know those “LooK YaLLz! ThIs Is mY MaNZ!” posts hit different.

i like megan thee stallion,
and i don’t understand all the unwarranted hate she gets,
but her relationship with klay thompson was a lesson in…

nate.
cassie.
maddy.

like in real life,
we’ve seen a “nate” choose a “cassie” over a ‘maddy”.
“it ain’t gonna last” is what we always say/font and then:

we hear about them getting married,
having kids,
and/or leveling up.

it leaves us confused but as this weird season of “euphoria” unfolds,
that’s the only dynamic that has me paying attention.
it made me think about something i’ve seen play out in real life…

“jamari…
i know you are upset but you have got to stop letting this take over your emotions.
i’m gonna help you turn this all around…”

that was someone i’ve met here that i word-vomitted to.
they could tell i was up to my wits end with it all.
so they said in font earlier today…