I’m sitting here,
crying,
and i don’t know why.
It might be the energy of the day or morning.
i dunno.

i haven’t been sleeping and last night,
i finally got a good 8 hours of sleep.
this morning,
i was up at like 530am.
i had a video call was around 8am.
around that time,
i put this sermon from sara jakes-roberts on.
it had me emotional but i felt really positive about the day.

so i was awake and in good spirits while turning my attention to cowboy carter.
i had “american requiem” on repeat and was jamming TF out.

“Looka there,
Looka in my hand,
The grand baby of a moonshine man..”

that part always gets me hype in emotions and turns me TF up.
while doing this,
i’m not realizing that time is flying by.
it’s about 725am and i didn’t even shower or make breakfast.

As I’m running to go jump in the shower,
I’m not paying attention and SLAM my shoulder and arm into the wall by the bathroom door.

i hit so hard,
it knocked me TF back.

like,
the wind was out of my sails.
it’s my fault for being so clumsy so i’m annoyed with myself.
while nothing feels broken,
i am hurting,
which has been a testament to my morning and life atm.

“If its one thing,
it’s the next.”

at times,
it seems like happiness is merely a passing guest in my life,
but it is often driven away by the shadow of misfortune.
for once,
i’d like happiness to stick around and stay for a while.

lowkey: it’s just a moment and i needed to vent.
i’m just frustrated with everything and this set me TF off.
i’m tired of things not going right.