you ever notice in the 90s black movies,
the hot wolf always falls for a bonafide main character bitch?
sanaa lathan.
jada pinkett.
gabrielle union.
they always played some straight up bitches in those movies.
the main character was always on some,
“i like you but you gonna have your shit all the way together to deal with me”?

i’ve been stewing on a video i saw a few days ago.
it was a fed up vixen venting about how black males are hard to love.
this is the video here via “the neighborhood talk“:

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i can sit up here,
fonting about how “ain’t shit” many black males are…

but ima keep it 110%…

sometimes,
we don’t realize what tough seasons do to us.
after we go through it and come out the other side,
other people can notice the impact all that weight carried.
so i sent my cousin a VN earlier to wish her a happy birthday.
she responded about how i sound and it floored me…

i took my ass back to therapy today.
i didn’t realize just how bad living with that person hurt me.
it was actually really affecting me mentally,
spiritually,
and emotionally.
after i told my new therapist everything that went down,
that i had to compress within an hour,
they said…

i thinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i’m over it.
i dunno,
but i’m just over it.
it was weird how fast i snapped out of it to.

sidebar: i really think living with that demon i stayed with changed me.

one minute,
i was so excited about him looking in my direction again.
i couldn’t wait to get on The Foxhole and font about it,
but then i did something after feeling a touch of “perfectionism” come over me…

he came back.
i was waking up last saturday morning,
and i decided to check my story views,
and my first thought when i saw his @ :

“wait,
am i still sleeping?”

he watched every single one of my stories too.
when i font i JUMPED out of bed.
after all these years,
he was all up in my stories.
the wild part is…

i don’t think i can put into words…