remember when we were kids and got sick?
the moment we had a cough or felt colder than usual,
our parents let us stay home so we could sleep in and watch cartoons.
depending on how sick i was
it was sleeping in,
and playing video games.
when we were kids,
we didn’t have responsibilities since our parents are footing the bill.
we can take a sick day (or 2) but we are footing the bill.
so i went to the doctor through teladoc last friday and...
i was supposed to be back in these forests.
i was all set to head with my peoples to this nice spot.
i had the outfit and smell goods ready.
my skin was on a level 10 of clean and clear.
even though i lost my id,
i was gonna sneak out and have some much-needed fun.
i decided to take a nap but when i woke up…
as you noticed,
i’ve been “out of the office” for a few days.
i didn’t think i’d be gone for so long but i had no bandwidth for anything.
i wanted to return back with some accountability and get back into it.
we’ll do something different this go-round.
let’s start with negatives first…
life has a way of humbling us.
we don’t realize it until all the pieces come together.
Some of us are currently setting up the play for a future humbling.
mi has no more allies.
everyone who had her back has either died or distanced themselves.
her cousin was a good person tbh.
her death really fucked up many people.
they had to close down her job for the day just to mourn.
i found out yesterday…
i woke up this morning and saw 7 missed calls on my phone.
they were all around 6 am.
it was from mi’s aunt.
i felt a fear come over me.
“Is this it?
Is this the call?”
mi has been on my mind lately.
when i called,
all i heard was her aunt screaming.
this is when i started to pace around my apartment.
i pace around my apartment when i’m worried.
i’ll walk around my kitchen to the living room in a complete circle.
i couldn’t understand the name,
but once she got it out…
it looks like they’re having fun without you.
you’ve called and texted to no answer.
you creep on their social media and it’s “the life of the party“.
they’re up in everyone else’s social media but yours.
it makes you feel a certain way and you can be honest about that.
I want The Foxhole to never apologize for feeling human.
so you spend your days wondering what you did.
did you insult them?
did someone say something to them that turned them off from you?
why are you getting the cold shoulder with no context?
it sucks because i’ve been there.
i was telling my therapist about a similar situation and he hit me with a quote that shook me…