most people are used to being treated like shit.
it’s a familiar language to them.
this is why with some males,
when you treat them like shit,
they will chase you even harder.
that requires your energy to be one of:
“I’m used to dealing with men,
whether fine or not,
and you aren’t acting what my worth requires.”
many of us are too insecure to get to that point.
when we have an open spirit,
everyone will try to find a way inside.
one of the foxholers sent me this video on twitter…
i’m not one to stay angry for too long.
i’m a cancer so i can hold a grudge,
but i’ve learned to let shit go.
folks can be bitter and age like a banana over beef if they want to.
after a while,
i move forward.
just because someone is a dork doesn’t mean i need to be one too.
if the wound is still fresh,
i want all the smoke.
once it heals tho,
i can see you in a public setting and be cordial.
Just because someone is a dork doesn’t mean I need to be one too.
my goal is to make them look dumb as possible since they wanna act like an idiot.
imagine me having to tell the story about how horrible someone treated me,
yet i showed them nothing but love.
so i got a call today about mi,
someone who i was angry about for a long time…
i spent my young adulthood looking for a wolf.
“looking” might be a passive word.
i was “desperately searching” for someone to complete me.
it was like i was lego blocks and i needed that one block to make me whole.
i would go outside and come home feeling depressed because i didn’t get any numbers.
when a wolf was even remotely attracted to me,
or so i thought,
i’d cling onto him because i thought he was my shot at feeling complete.
i might even have been a dreaded “pick-me” tbh.
i realized something that took me a while to get to.
it got documented on my IG stories…
i’ve had to take breaks within tv binge sessions,
but never because i was mentally drained.
i took a break after episode 5 on amazon”s “them” but the remaining episodes were…
he asked me how he looked in his outfit as i sat on the table.
he looked good af.
the way his arms and chest looked in his shirt had me on brick.
the way his plump ass hugged his dress pants made me lose my mind slowly.
i don’t know if he was completely straight tho.
no fully straight male lets me touch him the way i do.
it wasn’t sexual,
but it way past the “uh i’m straight” line.
some straights are comfortable around gays,
but there is a limit they will not cross.
he was one of them.
i told him his shirt was sticking out in the back.
he walked over to me,
got between my legs,
and told me to tuck it in.
i was getting really overcome with horniness tbph.
in a bold move,
i tried something i never thought i would…
the nfl baller wolf.
the wolf i was interested in recently.
some other “straight” wolves i knew in my past.
they were all wolves who were straight but seemed to be curious and interested in me.
i have this thing where i can attract curious males like moths to a flame,
but because i’m so worried about being “wrong”,
i kept a respectful line.
it might have made them think i wasn’t interested even though i was.
i had a dream last night about ^that situation above with a past wolf i mentioned,
but i had to wonder…
i don’t smoke because Lawd knows my anxiety be on 2000,
but today is a day for all smokers to celebrate.
4/20 is legit a national holiday that the folks go all out for.
i’m sure ithe folks gonna be extra high since the rona is over (?).
there is another reason to celebrate too:
George Floyd’s murderer was convicted!!!!!!
we stan wild animals getting locked up and being off the streets.
nancy pelosi had some words after the verdict was read and…