Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE

someone call state farm because i’ve crashed into the pandemic wall

*vent

Is it wrong to say I’ve been really going through it?

between the depression and the anxiety,
honestly,
i don’t know how i‘ve been making it through.
i woke up today legit crying my ass off.
it has been better than my usual waking up filled with anxiety.
this did start around the time the mercury retrograde reared its ugly head,
but i think i’ve hit the pandemic wall

Continue reading “someone call state farm because i’ve crashed into the pandemic wall”

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE UGH

i just want him to want me back (am i asking for the stars? i might just be)

i never get the wolf i want.
ever.
like,
ever,
ever.
i always have the pleasure of attracting the ones i want,
but we always have this intense moment until something splits us up.
no cap,
but they always end up having:

BIG.
BETA.
ENERGY.

all bark; no bite especially where i want to be bit.
it never fails

Continue reading “i just want him to want me back (am i asking for the stars? i might just be)”

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE

“if it ain’t one thing…”

I’m so sad Jamari…

as the saying goes:

“If it ain’t one thing…”

my friend,
fancy,
has had a tough few months.
sometimes,
we have those moments in life where nothing seems to go right.
it literally is one thing after the other.
we are in a constant washing machine of bs.
for her,
there was the car accident that gave her ptsd last year.
the police said it was her fault and it was looking like she would have to pay up.
she has since worked through all of those issues for a positive end.
last week…

Continue reading ““if it ain’t one thing…””

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

my vhs tape keeps glitching (art)

if you haven’t noticed,
i express myself through art.
you know what i love?

When a song(s) and videos are presented one way,
but there is a whole different meaning behind it.

that makes me so aroused.
you know i love an era.

for the last couple of weeks,
things have been really weird in my life.
i made this video today

Continue reading “my vhs tape keeps glitching (art)”

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE SOMETHING OPRAH WOULD TELL YOU

when they see you as “the threat”, you have ruined their lunch

there are certain people who see you as “the threat“.
people have tried to destroy others over jealousy and envy.
you didn’t necessarily do anything to provoke them.
you were just being you and they hated it.
i’ve been labeled “the threat” on countless occasions.
i’ll start out really cool with some folks,
but suddenly:

Jamari Fox is a threat

i’ve been on the threat status because:

Males they wanted have shown signs of wanting to smash me stupid
People genuinely took a liking to me
They got intimidated by my talent

all kinds of weirdo shit,
but here i am thinking the person is cool af and i’m cheering them on.
the thing about me

Continue reading “when they see you as “the threat”, you have ruined their lunch”

Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

i apologize.

my writing tends to come from a place of pain.
it’s relatable because many of us struggle with the same things.
being a black gay male isn’t easy in this hateful society.
my creative expression comes from:

hurt
sadness
depression
anxiety

for the last couple of weeks

Continue reading “i apologize.”