i never get the wolf i want.
ever.
like,
ever,
ever.
i always have the pleasure of attracting the ones i want,
but we always have this intense moment until something splits us up.
no cap,
but they always end up having:

BIG.
BETA.
ENERGY.

all bark; no bite especially where i want to be bit.
it never fails…

Continue reading “i just want him to want me back (am i asking for the stars? i might just be)” →

you ever got an email like ^that from your boss and it ended with:

“Please advise…”

“just following up” and“what’s the ETA on” are similar phrases that give britney face.
it’s usually the first thing on a monday or right before you leave on a friday.
so now you gotta dig through your emails to show you aren’t a doofus.

“Found it!”

you forward it,
leave a passive-aggressive “let me know if you have any concerns“,
and go back to watching a youtube video.
God forbid you can’t find it tho,
you’ll get chewed out and the infamous:

“Going forward…”

those who work in corporate offices know how it goes.
ya’ll know.
one sentence i’ve seen in a few emails that are usually attached to fuckery is…

Continue reading “per my last email, i will remind you who satan is and why i ownz your soul” →

foxhole,
today has been a day.
it’s like if it ain’t one thing then it’s the other.
where do i start?…

Continue reading “i heard it was supposed to snow, but i didn’t hear anything about a shit storm” →

i was all set to head down to brooklyn for thanksgiving.
my home-vixen i use to work with,
one that i haven’t seen in a hot minute,
was throwing a small get-together at her crib.
the issue i was having was how i was getting down there.
she promised me a ride,
but in case that fell through,
i was gonna hop in an uber.

I wasn’t doing MTA at all

we have been watching the rona news carefully.
new yawk has been starting to spike something stupid.
cuomo was talking about gatherings only having 10 people.
well,
she sent me this today…

Continue reading “how to lose friends and alienate people for thanksgiving” →

my anxiety is back in full force again.
i’m not sleeping through the whole night.
i’m waking up to throw up at like 4 or 5 am.
during another night of stomach issues,
i woke up with something on my mind.
it’s been on my mind for a while now.
after my hiv scare years ago,
i haven’t felt as comfortable to have random sex.
scrolling through dating and sex apps don’t excite me as they once did.
i don’t have many male gay friends to go out with.
i thought i met a poi i was 100% attracted to,
but he might be entertaining a vixen these days.
 i had to wonder...

Continue reading “dating? in 2020? for jamari fox? what is that you speak?” →

the emotionals have been on 1000.
there is pressure in my chest.
i’ve been crying off and on.
every time i sit still,
i start dwelling on things and people i know/like/maybe love(?).
i’ve had no energy to write anything tbh.
the thought of sleeping all day has been the move.
shitttttttttttttt,
i slept off and on during election day.
wtf is happening to me?
oh,
i know…

Continue reading “waving to the foxhole from emotional hell (hope all is well!)” →