this whole culture of:

“we hooked up and now i blocked you on grindr/jack’d/sniffies/whatever else”…

…Foxhole,
i keep fonting that this current hook up culture is for the morons.
i see why so many of us are single and the straights of gen z are sexless.
we claim we want to be in relationships but we meet potentials but fuck first; ask questions later.
so because we didn’t communicate what we actually wanted,
we default to the block on where we met em.
not even because it was scary or weird either.
just someone who found us attractive and wanted to know more after.
yup!
that’ll teach em!

like,
really think about it:

we are blocking people after one hook up,
even if the connection went really well.
are we stupid?

i saw a post on reddit and felt empathy over the situation.
it went like this…

TL;DR:

met someone on sniffies
was talking on and off
arranged a hook up
met and he was cool/attractive/all the chemistry
hook up said he would DM his number (first clue)
hooked up sent message to reconnect
profile vanished

i feel like that gives lowkey trauma.
you start wondering if you did something wrong?
were you not good enough?
should we have arched our tails up higher and took it deeper?
was our meat size an appetizer instead of a main course?
newsflash:

there is nothing wrong with being cool after a hook up

another newsflash:

there is nothing wrong with being transparent that you’d rather be cool after the hook up

we don’t know who they know.
we don’t know what connects they got.
we don’t know if they’re a prince from zamunda.
we certainly don’t know if our next relationship is with:

the friend
the daddy
“the random we started dating at the game night they invited us too”

this is why i believe people don’t know how to network nowadays.
it always comes from a place of begging or fake-ness rather than genuine connections.
this is why i can’t do linkedin or networking events.
in my personal opinion,
they all come off as one night stands that look like potential but go nowhere.

i’d rather put on my clown hat somewhere else,
please.

plus,
i don’t like walking up to randoms like i’m a car salesman.
my networks usually happen on accident or people remember me.
Foxholers who been following for years and blessed me with something,
talking to people IRL and they hit me up with a blessing,
communicating with people i didn’t know were CEOs/had it like that,
or people i’ve kept in contact with after a job/event/one time and wanted to help.

i’m the accidental networker tbh.
i don’t try; it kinda just happens on random.

for me,
the art of a good network is:

two people know enough about each other,
that when an opportunity comes in,
we won’t hesitate to share the lead.
they may not know your life story,
but they know enough about your job hunt or career advancement.

same with a hook up turned connection:

two people who know each other enough,
or have been intimate,
where the connection is open for a catch up,
fuck again,
or simply realized platonic was better for us.
whose to say that can’t change down the line.

i don’t understand why this is so hard for people,
but when we live our lives on our phones,
we tend to lose the kind of skills that helps us make and keep people around.

lowkey: this is why i don’t do random hookups because i may like the idea of the person after.
he was amazing and fine but nowwwwwwwww,
i’m blocked because he turned out to be a pussy.
no thanks (or maybe thanks for showing his true colors?)