You’re Dark Skinned So I’m Not Even Interested In You.

i caught up with a sista friend yesterday.
when we talk,
it is always a deep conversation about life.
my favorite!
the topic was black people.
we got onto the subject of skin color.
she said that if beyonce was as dark as her,
she would not have nearly the amount of success that she has.
“i kinda agree”.
she also pondered why these sistas in the industry always dye their hair blonde?
i often wondered myself because many of them looking stunning with darker hair.
before we hung up,
she said i should thank my parents i am able to “pass“.
“life is not to kind to dark berries,” she said.
that part left me confused…

… but i got it.
i wanted to say it hasn’t got me a job,
but whatever.
i started to wonder if the lighter the skin,
the more open the magic door of acceptance?
would life,
according to her,
be amazing if you “pass“?…

morris chestnut,
taye diggs,
emmanuel sanders,
and dez bryant are all chocolate wolves who are the fantasies of some.
some would argue it’s because they are in another tax bracket.
not to mention they are dominant and aggressive.
i find snow bunnies love them a deep dark mandingo dick in their life
in the lifestyle however,
the darker you are,
the harder it is to find someone.
unless like a fox was telling me you dress and look really fly.
even have a body like this:



being black in this world is hard enough as it is.
at the end of the day,
no matter the complexion or eye color,
we are still niggers (excuse my french) to white people.
until we are in “a higher tax bracket” will we find the respect.
even then,
you are still walking on egg shells with whites.
god forbid black people turn on you when you get there.
it think we experience it worse from our own.
these two:

the light one bugs me.
he continuously says he doesn’t date dark skin people,
but puts his dick in the holes of his dark friend on the side.
is it because of this:

…that he “degrades” himself to fuck someone dark?
as soon as those big black cheeks spread open,
he suddenly forgets?
it puzzles me.
i like all shades.
as long as you turn me on with your looks/body,
then we can make moves.
others don’t have the luxury to be ike me.

shit the best pipe i ever had was with some dark.

colored contracts.
skin bleaching.
we all trying to get in where we fit in.
a fat ass is not enough anymore.
there are some wolves who don’t even think my “light” is passing.
you need to be the exxxotical fantasy.
people always say being gay is a hard life to live but,
Is gay AND being dark even worse?

i started to wonder…

What is “passing” in the lifestyle?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

76 thoughts on “You’re Dark Skinned So I’m Not Even Interested In You.”

  1. I never noticed the discrimination and hate for skin colors until I started school. Society is a mother——-, and the kids in it can be devils since they don’t no any better. Before when I was with just my family didn’t seem like much, my mom was brown skin and I was fair skin. People in my family ranged in color so when my caramel grandmother with long hair down her back, to my cousin with dark skin and afro, or my aunt with white skin and blue eyes came to my house I didn’t see anything of it.

    When getting into middle school and older…. people would call me white like I didn’t have any color. Black people have told me I am too pale when that’s the color I have always been (that’s like me telling them to bleach themselves because they are too dark, RUDE) to white people tell me they wish they had my color because it is a nice tan color, but not too dark where it was “Black”. (My skin resembles Mya)
    It is more than dark skin people who get it from people. I am tired of meeting someone and the first thing they ask me is what you mixed with…what are you?
    Thinking to myself damn, would you like to know my name first? Just because they can’t tell from the color of my skin. I have had the most disrespect though from black people and not white. But it can be harder for dark because they get it from everyone: white people and their own people whether it is black, Latin, or Asian.

    I never got it though because I have seen the most beautiful skin from milky snow-white people and then also dark, jet ebony black people. Something about the evenness makes it look so smooth and beautiful.

    1. ^thank you for sharing your story.
      i loved the last paragraph.
      darker skin people have beautiful skin.
      it always shows up nice in pictures.
      damn near every pimple shows up when you are lighter lol

      1. 1st time commenting, I have been shy and reading for over a year maybe two!
        Welcome and yup! That was my life at 15 when puberty hit hard.

  2. *Gives The Man some dap..for his comments..ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE* #WELLSAIDMATUREYOUNGABROTHA

  3. This whole dark skin light skin shit is getting old. I don’t think it should be focused on anymore. This is 2013, not 1913. I am a brown skinned man. And I personally think that dark skinned people are afforded the same opportunities as any other person of color. If someone says something degrading about your skin don’t try to educate them because it will only look ASIC you care. I think ALL people of color should have more confidence in themselves, because light skinned ppl are always focused on saying something about someone of a darker completion. Worry about yourself and stop saying shit about other people of color. Those are YOUR BROTHER AND SISTERS. and dark skinned ppl are always either letting their skin color hold them back or are ovely confident and talk reckless about people of. Light completion. This shit is for the birds and it is not 1893 anymore and we are not owned by DADDY RICE anymore. Stop talking shit about something your born with and can’t help and get your fucking degrees. I can’t.

  4. I’m going to remember this topic and this date because I think that this post will go down in the top 10 in the foxhole for 2013. With that being said, let me say this, I am light skin with green eyes, and life has not been a bowl of cherries and lollipops for me. I look bi-racial, but I am not so I was always called white boy growing up and it affected me and tore at my self confidence just as a dark skin person. I grew up in a all black, working/middle class neighborhood, but I was the lightest dude in the neighborhood so I couldn’t run and hide and blend in, and it was many kids who used to jump me just because. It seem like I always had to prove myself that I was really authentically black. All through school, I was pretty introverted and just concentrated on books and school, this actually help me in the long run, but socially I was awkward until I was grown and just started forcing myself to be a social person. Now older Black people treated me really good, and Black teachers in school were extra nice and let me get away with more, than some of my darker skin friends. I saw this with my own eyes. I am so glad that my parents were very pro-black and filled our house with all types of images of black people and I was always attracted to all shades of black, black is so beautiful to me no matter the shade but I must say that darker shades of black are my personal preference, just never been attracted to other light skin dudes for many reasons.

    Now with the gay thing, I have had many dudes who are attracted to me for just my light skin alone and this used to really bother me and turn me off, I am like you don’t even know if I’m crazy, a asshole etc but that’s ok because I am light, but then I thought I am attracted to dudes who are attractive with nice bodies so I am no different, we all have our things that attract us to others. Now I can say that some of the dudes I have kicked it with, have went out of their way to be extra nasty to me because of their own insecurities and took it out on me for my skin tone, and that in turned fucked with my self esteem and had me not wanting this light skin cross to bear. I used to say to myself, I wish I was brown, because I think its hard when you are one extreme or the other, either light or dark you are going to have skin color issues. I know in the black community, you are called Red Boy, White Boy, Albino, Yella etc all kinds of nicknames you didn’t ask for, and on the other end, if you are dark, you are called Blackie, Darkie, Blue and the negative list goes on. We still have miles to go in our own community dealing with skin color issues.

    Another thing I have noticed is with str8 dudes like in public (the barbershop, club, the gym, even church) when you are light skin and talk correct and carry yourself in a professional manner, they either gone automatically think you are gay or uppity and don’t even give you a chance before they judge you, but when they get to know you and see you are cool then its a different story, maybe black men do that to each other no matter the skin tone, but I still have experienced a lot of hate with gay and str8 men who think the worse of me because of my skin tone.

    I say all this to say, don’t think that the grass is so much greener on the other side because that is not always the case.

    1. Love this comment. You got jumped for being light skin tho? Aww tajan that’s crazy. Where they do that at? They prob. where jealous of you lol. Some guys that are every complexion but light skin are jealous light skin guys cause they look too good, and they feel threatened. If you are different in a good way you are a threat to some. Me being good looking and a nice guy never sat right with other guys, especially the gang bangers lol. They would get angry when they saw me talking to their girlfriends. I would be like it’s not even like that, but on the low I was trying to bag em lol. Little did they know, I knew some bangers as well. Yup, they backed all the way off lol. I always tell really nice people that you have to know some bad boys, cause they will have your back. Depending on who you know people won’t fuck with you.

  5. Americans are tricky that’s why I’m dating a foreigner. I mean we have our own set of problems but nothing this complex, thank god!

  6. I have dark skin and I had no idea colorism in the black community even existed until a couple years ago when I started reading about it online. My family is full of people that are light, dark and in between and everyone is treated the same. The only time I’ve ever heard people mention skin tone in my life is when they’re complimenting them. I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about light skin or dark skin people outside of the internet. I’ve dated guys of various colors and so have my friends. I don’t think my skin color has affected my life at all unless I’m just oblivious to it.

    1. You must look good then. A friend of mine from highschool is dark skin and he pulls a ton of women, and guys too. I hate his ways, but he makes me weak in the knees lol. He is just so fine man.

  7. I honestly like to think a goodlookng person is just that- a goodloking person regardless of their complexion.

    I have one of those complexions that are neither here nor there. Im brown- think about Miguel’s shade. Now I think i’m good looking but i don’t fit into the category of light skinned or dark skinned but depending on who i’m with they always tend to classify me into either category. So with lighties, im dark and with darkies, im a lighty. I struggled with fitting in, even at home cos my siblings are all lighter.

    I’ve just decided to go the Naomi Campbell route. She’s a dark skinned woman who started working at a time when black was considered ugly. She worked on herself and carried herself with such confidence and self belief that she is now the standard for dark-skinned beauty. I’d just say be realistic with your expectations and get familiar with your look so you become comfortable with it (will take some time and getting used to but is possible) and in time you will know what works for you and you can pull whatever partner you want. There’s no point chasing after someone who you know for a fact is colour struck. leave it alone and look for compatibility.

    For men its slightly less complicated cos you can go to the gym and work on your body, take care of your skin and hair and you’re good. If u can afford it a little nip here and a tuck there.

    Its trickier for the women but it is ultimately the same. Work on your body, make sure your skin is poppin’ regardless of your shade and make sure your hair is laid and your confidence is on point. looking good boosts confidence so why not take care of you and your appearance?

    Anyways, love u guys and fuck the colour obsessed ninjas x x

  8. Ehh preference? I personally find that dark skin men have a baggage full of insecurities they either are always trying to be noticed by being the loudest one or extra compensating in one way or the other… I “think” dark men do want to secretly be light maybe it’s the way they grew up or experiences in life … Now they often lay pipe the best.. Only feeeeeeewww dark men I’ve met are confident (mind you I did not say aggressive, dominant or “confidence” with swag etc) inside and out . Eg the dark boy in your pic comes off as aiming for lights and might not even like the dark ones and he would want to act light … And how light are you?

  9. Colorism is seen in all cultures not just in ours. Blondes are perceived as being desirable, in some Asian cultures lighter skin is perceived as better. And don’t start with Latin America and the Carribean skin color plays a major role in how one is perceived. To use a popular example is Jennifer Aniston a better actress than her Friends costars? Or did being a blonde open doors that weren’t there for Courtney Cox? One designer I worked for always put societies perception of attractive up front whether it was in the corporate office to the spokesman to the retail staff. The reality we all prejudge at first glance so a bruh may be ” blue black” or have kinky hair and it effects how we react to the situation. But I always tell people do not let your hang ups to get in the way a relationship you might miss your blessing.

  10. Self hatred in the black community is real and I see it & hear it every day of my life. It doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight, the hate is the same. My mom is light skinned and is always talking shit. Anyways, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with black people dying & texturizing their hair or wearing colored contacts. They can test things out and play with different styles if they want to. Nobody says shit when white people dye their hair and tan to get darker. As long as you’re not doing it TO fit in, then it’s all good. It’s like when a black person dyes their hair, other black people [and white people] will call them gay, ghetto, ratchet, self hating, and every other name but when a white person does it, it’s creative, cute, etc. That’s gotta stop.

  11. On a trip to Cuba several years ago, some friends pointed out how nice it was that Mulattos are doing so well in the USA. Perhaps Black people will have success someday too. In Cuba or Brazil none of the following is Black: Barack, Conde Rice, Colin Powell, Deval Patrick, Eric Holder, Ron Brown,Thurgood Marshall, Doug Wilder, David Dinkins, Jesse Jackson. Complexion matters a lot!!

    1. ^mulatto seems to be “in” now.
      listen to mariah’s growing up story,
      you would think she was a product of satan now they treated her.

      thank you for the comment alpha w.

    2. The funny thing is this whole light and dark is just in America when we lived abroad no one cared if you’re dark or light all that mattered was did you have whatever the prison was looking for fat ass, nice heart etc you see that in brazil Cuba etc they are all “light skin” and normal they come to us and everyone worships them so they get big headed since they’re not used to that

  12. ^that is so sad.
    your words touched me.
    i didn’t know it was that bad either.
    you never know what someone is/has gone through until they share.

    anyone else?

  13. the issue with gays is that,
    yes we like the shell.
    the shell looks good and hopefully he has:

    nice dick/fat ass
    mind alerting stroke/wet walls
    can cook
    has a great conversation

    and whatever else we deem as a good mate.
    how many gays got with a shell and regretted what was inside?
    i’ve started looking past the shell now.
    just because he has muscles and a nice face,
    what else is underneath that?
    people show you who they are on twitter/facebok/instagram.
    what are you willing to put up with?
    not everyone is perfect,
    and there is a peace in knowing that.

      1. I know some good looking guys with bad attitudes, and it is a turn off. Looks are only good for sex, but that has nothing with unconditional love, caring, understanding, and being there for you in more ways than one.

      2. ^the more good looking the person is,
        and im interested in them,
        the more I look for their button.

        everyone has a button you can press that opens up their insecurities.
        it helps you not view them as perfect creatures and get insecure on what they may think of you.

      3. Bullshit but you will not date/stay with a “dark and ugly” boy who is perfect on the inside. I hate when dark people bullshit about light people and STILL be the SAME people chasing after them. What I see is more darks will rather have a light bf who has attitude issues because to them they can work on that, I personally find it silly when I see pretty boys dating ugly fucks been there done that

  14. Obesity as in chunky, fat as fuck, a ham sandwich away from death.

    Hair is laid, nails did, but they got sleep apnea and diabetes.

    But colorism is why nobody want you? Oh, okay. Bye.

    1. ^LMAO!

      black women in general are extremely fussy about stupid shit anyway.
      they go in on things that are so irrelevant.
      i often wonder if its because they THINK they are at the bottom of the totem pole?

      1. Patriarchy and white supremacy affects us all, but sometimes you can just be plain fat, ugly unattractive, stank, broke, stupid, illiterate, arrogrant, weak you get the picture…

        It’s always one glaring red flag that ultimately chops someone.

        Also some people like emotional pain going after people who will never want them ever:

        The bougie pretty boy who wants an emotionally connected thug.

        The aspiring Instagram model with anybody successful.

        The homophobic guy with ANY man.

        Your ex and your next.

        Stay in your lane and stop confusing the universal with the specific.

  15. Do you guys know that this started in the straight world. It’s all about the reproducing aspect of it. People do not want their children to come out dark, especially if they are dark themselves, so two dark skin people would not want to have kids with one another. They do not want their children to be picked on and ostracized like they were. Why this is happening in the gay lifestyle beats me. Y’all can’t have kids.

      1. Truuuuue!

        But here’s the irony. Darker dudes and females gas light skin dudes, but like Latinos and Asians, they usually end up dating someone like themselves.

        You liked ALL their pics, sent them 15 unread messages on A4a, grindr, and jack’d, and kissed the ground they walked on for them to walk right past you to another light person.

        Damn. LMAO!

        1. ^light skin females end up dating darker.
          dark skin females seem to attract lighter.
          white women only like dark skin/chocolate men.
          white women think light skin men are ugly.
          from my experience.

          gays end up with anything with a hard dick and is masculine.
          bottoms love masculine straight looking men.
          tops tend to like whatever has a hole at that point.

          then we have the exclusive tops who are sexy and popular and only date light to fair skin.
          i think when you pass the “how good do you look” test in the lifestyle,
          you can get pretty much whoever you want.

          am i wrong?

  16. Oh shit. You done started something now lol. I love talking about this. At the end of the day, if you are dark skin it all depends on how good you look. Dez Bryant is dark, but he is gorgeous. People who are dark skin and ugly are usually the ones who are frowned upon, it’s sad. As I said before, in the straight world darker men are loved, light skin men are disliked by some, and dark skin women are extremely disliked. In the gay world darker men are disliked, and light skin men are placed on a pedestal.

    Light skin and dark skin are not the only complexions either. It’s complexions in between too. You have high yella, lightskin, caramel, chocolate, and dark skin. These athletes would be examples:

    Klay Thompson-high yella(look him up if you don’t know him)
    Stephen Curry-light skin.
    Paul George- caramel
    Emmanuel Sanders-chocolate
    Dez Bryant- dark skin

      1. Yes. I would say caramel and chocolate are the best complexions to be because you will always win when it comes to the opinions of other people. High yella and dark skin are undesirable by many.

      2. George Hill the attention whore? lol If that’s the one you mean, I would say that he is light skin, but he is close to being high yella. Suraquh is caramel, but he is just shy to being chocolate toned.

    1. I think its deeper than how a darker person looks because that’s all subjective. I think Dez Bryant is sexy (as in I’d smash), but not necessarily cute.

      If you are sexually attracted to men and you associate with other men that are attracted to men, you’d have to be oblivious to not be aware of how fairer skin men are put on a pedestal, no matter how dark and fine you are.

    1. ^werent they discovered in the 80s/90s?
      its all about passing complexions in vixens.
      the last dark skinned sista i’ve seen on screen is:


      …and she is a masculine character.

      1. What about Rutina Wesley, Tara from True Blood, remember her sex scene with Mechad Brooks?


        Is she a masculine character or is she playing a masculine character?

        Queen Latifah, Da Brat, and Alicia Keys all read masculine to me. No matter what they got on, it just masculine all the time.

        1. ^viola comes off masculine.
          i love her acting.
          the last 3 you mentioned are lesbians lol

          look at what denzel told his daughter:

          “”I tell my daughter – she’s at NYU – I say: ‘You’re black, you’re a woman, and you’re dark-skinned at that. So you have to be a triple/quadruple threat.’ I said: ‘You gotta learn how to act. You gotta learn how to dance, sing, move onstage.’ That’s the only place, in my humble opinion, you really learn how to act. I said: ‘Look at Viola Davis.’ I said That’s who you want to be. Forget about the little pretty girls; if you’re relying on that, when girls; if you’re relying on that, when you hit 40, you’re out the door. You you hit 40, you’re out the door. You better have some chops.”

    2. Comment got cut off!

      That’s why Serena Williams get shitted on for her features (outside of that ass) and ANY light skin side is an automatic suspect for being a flaming gay, weak/soft, punk, pretty boy, or race traitor.

      I like all shades and will date all cultures. I like difference within and outside of my group.

      You’re only a nigger to white supremacist people–the problem is you can’t tell a white supremacist by the color of their skin.

      If anything, I had/ heard several disturbing conversations where a dude/chick hated their white side or white people in general.

      !!! How can you literally hate your own mother or father based solely on melanin?

      Respect your ancestors. All of them.

      Now gay men have their own set of values and fucked up problems, but sisters sometimes use colorism as a crutch instead of working on obesity issues. But that’s another topic.

  17. Being dark is Not as much an issue if you are a man.There are lots of darker skinned guys who are considered sexy including my future husband Idris Elba.For women being dark skinned is more of a disadvantage IMO

      1. Beyonce is a 7 without makeup. Mr. Carter is her foil.

        Have seen Life is Dream?

        Some of those angles…

        That Creole mustache will be in full effect in a couple of years.

      1. Don’t be fooled. Plenty of bottoms only like yellow/pink meat.

        They sound like Precious when they talk about their reverence for “light-skinneded boys with tattoos and green eyes” that will come and sweep them off their feet. Lol

    1. Dark skinned women definitely have it harder. Dark skinned men, and every other shade of black men, are constantly putting them down. It’s disgusting and very sad.

  18. I love how people think that if you’re not light and damn near white, you’re dark.

    Like how Kelly is the opposite of Beyonce. Like she’s dark as tar or something. She’s not even that dark, but she will forever be deemed “the dark one” because of Beyonce.

  19. The ignorance isn’t new to me at all. I’ve always been dark complected and I’ve experienced it all.

    Friends who openly say they think lighter complected people look better by default.

    The elitist attitudes of these light skinned dudes because we CONSTANTLY stroke their egos, even the basic ones that are not attractive.

    White people that are intimidated and white women that are attracted to my complexion because it’s kind of “forbidden” so to speak.

    I choose not to entertain it on any level. I will tell you about yourself, publicly verbally assault you, and ignore you like air from that point on.

      1. I don’t think my complexion has prevented me from any jobs or goals at all.

        I’m fairly aggressive and assertive so I refuse to let something as basic as complexion stand in my way.

        I do think my fairer skinned counterparts get fringe benefits that I haven’t been afforded though.

  20. “The darker the berry the sweeter the juice”!!!!! Don’t know who said that, but for me no truer words have been said!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: