You Can Fuck Other Hoes As Long As You Don’t Kiss Them On The Mouth

it was the punch heard around the world.
joseline straight tore into stevie j’s cheating ass.
as amusing as it was,
it was also a sad reality for some.
there is some fox now,
reading this entry,
whose wolf just came on one of his hoe’s butt cheeks after an intense session.


i know i have played the side fox on many of occasions.
i was more an “emotional hoe” than anything else.
i have since learned from those mistakes.
i always felt emotional cheating was the worst of them all.
thank god i never got the “skeet in the fact/bye bye” special.
but, is this to be expected in a lifestyle were wolves want their cake, ice cream, donuts, and steak dinner all in one?
i started to wonder…

Are you okay playing Boyfriend #2, #3, or even #25?

i want a wolf to myself.
i want him to only fuck with me.
i want to wake up and cook him breakfast,
all while trying to figure out what ima make him for dinner.
i want to put a tattoo on his dick that says:

JAMARI’S PIECE

…but we all know that shit ain’t even possible sometimes.
he probably has 2 other names:
one under the shaft and another around his balls.

is this new generation about “dick sharing”?
should we get comfortable in knowing that there is someone else doing something we may not do to our man?
you may not be fulfilling him sexually.
you may not even be fulling his needs emotionally.
or, he may just like getting better head.
he may even be still hooked on an ex he can’t get over.
sadly, is “steebie j” just a caricature of real shit going on in gay relationships everywhere?
his relationship with mimi and joseline maybe just an enhanced version for television,
but we all know that it goes down like that.

i use to say:

“as long as i am first on that list, i am all good.”

…but with all these diseases going on out here,
i don’t think that is even a good idea.
shit, i think i may even slipped and became “mimi” without even realizing it with that statement.

i started to ponder deeply about monogamy in 2012.
is it even possible?
is it something that use to happen back in like 1920 and now,
that ship has long sailed?
it’s easy to get the wolf and do all the nasty things to him,
but what happens when he gets bored and starts fucking hoes on the side?
what if he wants you to be okay with that?
does it make it okay he comes home to you?
do you stay?
or, do you give him the peace sign and go back into this fucked up dating scene?
so many questions that i started to wonder…

Are you okay with your partner having another dick on the side?

wolves,
would you let your fox have one?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

27 thoughts on “You Can Fuck Other Hoes As Long As You Don’t Kiss Them On The Mouth

  1. This reminds me of an arrangement an acquaintance of mine has.

    He lives with this dude. Fine as hell. You could easily switch him out with your current “Lover” on the side of this page. They’re pretty much a couple without the official label. They are allowed to fuck as many women as they want, but no other men. Of course the more beta party isn’t as interested in women as the finer one, but he gets kind of aroused by the fact his “boyfriend” drunkenly brings home these ratchet chicks, beats the lining out of them (protected of course), sends them packing, and then sneaks in his room afterwards and goes another round with him w/o so much as even taking a shower first.

    The whole point he makes is that his sexual activity with women is different from what he has with him so it really doesn’t bother him.

    I guess this is the ideal relationship DL guys look for? When you really think about it there may not be much of a future in it though.

    I don’t know if I’m regressing or evolving, but I wouldn’t rule it out.

    1. That sounds nasty as shit. You gotta wash your ass (dick and balls too) before you jump back in.

      You wouldn’t fry chicken in fish grease, same principle.

      It’s one thing if everybody was fucking together, but to gut-bust some broad and then hop his happy ass into dude’s bed…hells naw.

      It’s a fine line between freaky-kinky and fucking nasty.

      1. Lmao! I kid you not they act like they’re happy as shit!

        I wasn’t surprised or taken back by it in the least bit. Gay dudes like everyone else, are highly attracted to what they cannot have (straight dudes). So I imagine it would be sort of a fantasy fulfilled or weird accomplishment for some dudes to fuck a dude who usually only fucks with women and have that dude tell them they’re better.

        I’m not saying I’d want their exact arrangement, but if I were with a dude him messing with another dude would be more of a problem for me than a women. Bisexual men tend to be more uninhibited with men than women in my experience.

        I can’t say for sure since I’m not in the situation, but him messing with ractchet chicks every weekend probably may not bother me at all.

    2. That’s an interesting arrangement that they have. I’m not knocking what they are doing, but if I were your acquaintance, it would always bother me if my “boyfriend” is really using protecting at all times. Just knowing some chick is in the room sucking on him would get me upset.

      S/N: BBB would get a kick out of hearing him rearranging their inside, though.

  2. Monogamy, like sanity, is a cozy lie.

    You can’t control what another person is going to do once they are out of your presence. You can request that they protect themselves–emotionally, physically, and financially. I would not be upset if my partner was fucking someone else–mainly because we’ve already discussed if it ever comes to that. He never has to lie to kick it, if there is someone else he is dying to fuck have at it, he just won’t be fucking me and them at the same time without my knowledge.

    Now If he was cheating on me, meaning he said one thing out his face and then performed another, and I found out that he didn’t use any condoms or lubrication, AND/OR the other person was some old nasty gutter-butt trollop then I’m fucking pissed. He might not care about his life or body but I care about mine.

  3. Fuck no I’m not okay with my Fox having someone else on the side, I don’t play that. When I’m with someone they belong to me and only me. Not trying to sound possesive but y’all get the picture. That sharing shit is almost just as bad as friends with benifits, it always ends in a disaster. I just don’t understand how people have the energy to put up with that. Somone always gets ostracized in a situation like that.The most conservative one of the two usually wins because they are better for public appearances and are wifey material. Just look at Mimi, Stevie J, and Joseline. Mimi always wins at the end of the day, and Stevie treats Joseline like a wet food stamp.

    1. I agree Man. I tried being in a relationship like that in the past. Nothing but a headache and monogamy, a cozy lie? I think the problem is with people now days being that they’re selfish, lazy and dont want to lift a pinky to even try to attempt to be in a exclusive commited relationship. All they want to do is sex. Sex is good but i want more than just a nut. I want some intimacy, somebody to hold, laugh with, share my world with. So im going to continue being abstinent till I can find someone who wants not just a piece of me but all of me.

      The situation with Stevie, Joseline, and Mimi is crazy. The only one who’s winning in that Jerry Springer love triangle is Stevie. Joseline does get treated like wet food stamp but Mimi getting treated like a door mat. Stevie walk right over her ass and does whatever and whoever he wants.

  4. is monogamy even practical for every male? the history of the world is one of monogamous and polygamous relationships exiating side by side. In a story, this African lady told this western lady, “at least we know who our men are with”. of course there are abuses, but so to in monogamous relationships. Believe or not, catholic priests once were allowed to marry and more than once, from what i understand. wasn’t till greed for land came into the picture (sons would inherit the land and wealth of their fathers, but the vatican wanted it) that they were prohibited to marry, from what i understand. just think too many of us fell for the disney myth and not being real. they dipped back in the day, just didn’t have cell phones and social media to get caught!

  5. This is a hard one, Jamari. Monogamy has always been my ideal, and the relationships I’ve had over the years were monogamous. And, each one ended, civily. But, I learned over the years that many of the relationships of friends I thought fit that ideal were, in fact, not really monogamous, afterall. I have to somewhat channel ICeeDedPpl here. I learned that one if not both of the parties in those relationships were tipping, without the knowledge of the partner. Many of these guys really love their partners but want occasional variety. This goes for the married men who have come on to me, also. It’s led me to try to intellectualize dealing with a brother with the understanding that he might want to occasionally indulge with another. However, this is where I guess The Man and I end up on the same page. I have to admit I am just too possessive and uncomfortable with the idea that my partner could end up prefering the other person, after I had let down my guard and become so invested, emotionally. I have an inquiring mind. I would always be wondering how I measured up to this other person. Also, I’ve come to believe that there might indeed be some hard-wiring in men to want to sample others. And, the idea of being played just would not work for me.

    So, where does this all leave me, today? I don’t want to sound jaded, especially for the youngins like The Man. I enjoyed my relationships. I was/am extremely loyal, protective and possessive (but I don’t think overbearing at all) and expected the same from my partners. It’s just that I am happy being single. Fortunately, connecting sexually with another when I want it, is not a problem. However, nowadays, I don’t have the interest or desire to make all the accommodations one does when entering a relationship, as I was willing to do when I was much younger.

    Another thing that gives me pause is that so many brothers who are in relationships come onto me that I can’t help but wonder if ICeeDedPpl has it right when he says monogamy is a cozy lie. And, many of the brothers who hit on me are super fine young brothers with education and careers who are not looking to me to be a sugar daddy. I know this would excite many brothers in my position, but I would be wondering the whole time, when would they meet someone young like themselves into the social scene and want to leave the relationship for that person. One thing I have never done and never will do is compete. If that little voice (that sixth sense) speaks to me, I give it the same weight as the other five senses and act accordingly.

    So, I guess, Jamari, this all means I couldn’t share in a relationship. I don’t have to think about that being single. And, one other thing: many of us wolves are every bit as insecure as foxes when it comes to not wanting to be replaced by another wolf.

  6. Let me let you in on a little secret. Monogamy doesn’t work now and never has for for most people.

    There is a great book out called “Sex at Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. According to studies cited in the book mankind was not designed to be monogamous.

    For instance, human males have the biggest penises of any primate species. Human females, unlike dogs and cats and many primates, are constantly able to have sex. Many species other thanhumans only come into heat and mate a few times a year — a human couple gay or straight can fuck several times a day 365 days a year if they wanted.

    There is also evidence early man lived in communal groups where people had multiple partners. If you look at hunting gathering cultures in Africa now such as the San it is very unlikely people stay attached to the same mate for all of their lives — you have multiple partners throughout your lives.

    Sexual characteristics humans have today — such as women have loud orgasms and men being so aroused by visuals (which carries on to our love of porn today) — arose because early man was used to having sex in groups or in pairs around other people.

    This one-man to one-woman rule came about relatively recently in mankind’s history when people started farming and owning property and wanted to pass down land and other goods to their offspring. That’s when you had men begin to treat women like personal property. But notice many men in ancient cultures had multiple wives and concubines and even bedded down servants (read the Bible – there are plenty of examples).

    Even today half of heterosexual marriages end, often due to infidelity. Because people aren’t wired to be with the same person for 50 or even 60 or 70 years now that we are living longer.

    Let me tell you another secret that is not well kept. Studies show the most successful gay couples have open relationships. In fact, a study from the Center for Research on Gender & Sexuality at San Francisco State University shows almost 50 percent of gay couples polled had negotiated open relationships.

    Another 8 percent of couples surveyed disagreed about what type of relationship they had (meaning one partner probably thought it was open and the other did not).

    I am a top who happened to fall in love with another top. We bottom for each other although I admit neither one of us is great at it. Many times we do oral and body play and jack off together, which can be hot.

    When we really feel like fucking the shit out of something we got get a bottom and threesome. He enjoys watching me and I enjoy watching him.

    It takes maturity and a healthy sense of self to do this. I’m not the jealous type. We enjoy so many other interests together (art, movies, the gym etc.) that I see sex with a third as recreation — a chance to spice things up every once in awhile.

    Am I worried he will fall in love with a third? Not really. I understand I can’t fulfill everything my partner wants and vice versa. You also an’t hold on to a dude that doesn’t want to be with you. I have a good job, my own income, a good circle of friends and family. If we break up I will miss him like hell but my life will go on.

    I notice many gay black men, many of whom grew up in female dominated households, adopt this that’s-my-man-and-I’ll-kill-you-if-you-look-at-him mentality. Please!!! Stop putting a heterosexual norm on your gay relationship.

    Have honest discussions with your mate about what turns you both on and try to adjust. If pursuing a threesome or open relationship comes up decide whether you really want the relationship to continue and if you do decide to go that route set rules and regulations.

    Because when it comes down to it good relationships and good sex all come down to good communication.

    Immanuel
    http://www.dlconfessionssequel.com

    1. ^i realllly felt old head and immanuel’s comments.
      i feel to be successful in dating,
      you have to be open to an open relationship.

      but what are the rules?
      or is there no rules?

      1. Jamari: There are all sorts of rules — they depend on the couple.
        Some gay couples I know say don’t kiss the third person or eat their ass — that is too personal.
        Some couples I know only allow playing apart when they are out of town or won person is business traveling.Yet others have a rule where if you threesome you hit the third once but no repeats!
        I know one couple (they have been together like 20 years) and own a beautiful home together — well, one guy is the top in the relationship but he goes outside of the relationship to get dicked down.
        His partner also allows him to log onto to A4A and look for dick to his heart’s content.
        In other words, each couple can set their own set of rules. There is no hard or fast ones. It’s what is comfortable for the two of you.

    2. Do you think this could work if you want kids…Thats probably the biggest issue with me and open relationships, having a family, it can be very complicated to do those things. As well, if i had an open relationship i probably wouldn’t want to have any type of unprotected sex…including oral. Not even with my longterm partner because if we were to have an open relationships, the chance of him taking liberties would in my opinon, be much greater.

      1. Married straight couples have sex all the the and have kids too. So what’s the difference?

        Don’t have sex in front of the kids and practice your open relationship outside the house. Very simple.

        If your partner and you decide to open it up I don’t think using protection at all times is asking too much.

  7. Wow! I don’t know if I was prepared to hear what Old Head and Immanuel both wrote but I think all of us should really take in what they had to say since they most likely have the most experience.

    At the same time, some naive part of me has to believe there are some people out there who can “walk the walk” and mean it when they say they only want to be with one person.

    I still say I’d be less likely to care if a dude I was seeing stepped out with a woman. Just like in the reverse, I’d be less likely to care if a girl I was dating stepped out with another woman.

    Woman have something I don’t, so I don’t compare myself to them at all.

  8. Monogamy doesn’t exist. Why pay $150 for DirecTV if you are just going to watch the same channel everyday for the rest of your life? That’s basically what monogamy is. Don’t get me wrong…it’s a cute concept to have a boo thang that belongs to you and only you but eventually your eyes will wander and you will want to sample what’s out there. But emotional cheating is worse than sexual cheating. You can fuck somebody and it doesn’t mean a damn thing…it’s just a nut. Wham bam thank you ma’am. It becomes a problem when you start having 3 am intimate convos. It takes a lot of hard work and patience to have a truly monogamous relationship and most people aren’t willing to put in the effort.

  9. I think that these people that subscribe to the $150 Direct TV Premium Package do so to see new channels, to have more. They have all the variety they could ever want in that package. Thats why they decided to subscribe to that deal. Its just that they find one channel and stick to it. They dont bother to pick up the remote to explore all those other brand new channels their eyes have yet to see. So they decide that Premium Package is now a waste of money, BUT is it really a waste of money? Or is it that hey chose to watch the same channel and stagnating their own entertainment.? The remote was in their hand.

  10. I think basically it is possible, yet you have to know what you can personally handle in a relationship — and realize that there are more open relationships than you think…especially in the gay/bi community. Personally, I’ve been in monogamous relationships, and I’ve also had others involved. I could have a level of openness if we talk about it. For instance, if I was with a hybrid, I wouldn’t want any other wolf fugging him – but I’d let in a 3rd to let him fugg. It’d have to be something we agree upon. There’s a strong part of me that wouldn’t want to see/know about someone else fugging my dude/vixen. That’s me though.

    1. I agree with you. Personally I wouln’t be able to have an open relationship . People who settle for open relationships I feel are desperate to keep what that person who wants an open relationship to begin with. I couldn’t do it because I’m greedy and I’m not competing over a man or woman with someone else. It’s not happening.

      1. I think it’s fine that it doesn’t work for you, but don’t get judgmental & put your perception on someone else’s relationship. I’ve come across plenty of people in my life that are like Immanuel — it works for them and their relationship. Don’t paint everyone with that broad brush stroke that only applies to some.

    2. But what if your hybrid wants the option of both….Will he just have to compromise…if so than whats the point of the open relationship?

      1. If he wants both, it wouldn’t work for us. That’s where the communication comes in. There are limits to what I would feel comfortable with in an open relationship. If we can’t agree, then we have to discuss if we can be monogamous — and if not, whether this relationship will work. It all comes down to honest communication really.

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