Straight, but comfortable and confused, Wolves are the devil.
On one aspect, I am attracted to them because all the gay Wolves who are deep in this lifestyle are strange.
They do/have something that turn me off.
It could be the messiness or club hopping (aka more messiness) that I cannot handle.
But, the “Straight” Wolves I tend to attract/attracted to always have some quality that I like.
Be it they are always curious about me, or they are masculine with a hint of shyness.
I always seem to attract the great ones I could never really have.
But I started to wonder…
Am I doomed to a life of attracting “kinda comfortable confused” Straight Wolves?!
I had a situation that happened the other that I am sure will leave you confused… sorta.
So I met this Rapper Wolf a month or two ago at an event.
I was introduced to him and was blown away with how handsome he was.
We stayed in contact because he wanted to work with me and get help with his career.
Outwardly, he was exactly my type.
He had a little body on him, caramel butter scotch complected, confident, and way taller than me.
Everyone was trying to figure out if he got down, because HE IS SEXY and they all wanted a piece.
I kept my lustful thoughts to myself, so I played the “subtle ho” role.
He hit me up and we decided to meet so we could discuss his career.
He called me late night to come thru… and in my mind, I already knew what that meant.
And I’m sure YOU knew what that meant also.
So, I went to get him at the train station and we came back to my crib.
From the bat, we were mirroring each other’s actions.
I looked in his eyes and he repeated.
Then he touched my knee, which followed me touching his.
He touched my hand and I did the same to him.
So I asked him…
“So do you work out?”
“Yeah I do.”
“Well let me see…”
“If i show you that means you got to give me some mean head…”
Well alright!
But, I wasn’t going to do that because this wasn’t some meet up from a chat site.
This was an actual business meeting (or so I kept telling myself).
He got up and I grabbed his pecs and his arms.
Felt nice…
I thought it was then confirmed he was a Wolf after that comment.
I got much bolder with my actions and he followed.
I said something and asked:
“Where you spying on me?”
“Yes I was… and I saw that person you had sex with the other night.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, they came out and looked completely satisfied.”
I, in turn started talking to my hand.”
“You hear that, he has been spying on us.”
“Yeah I been watching you do that too.”
He said something about him being discreet and basically my type and then, I went for it.
I kissed him.
I am NEVER that bold, but I let my Fox fur down a little and went in for the kill.
He did not resist, which was a good sign.
We flirted and my guard was completely down at this point.
I did a lot more things I do when I was comfortable.
He wanted to see what underwear I was wearing so he pulled the brim of my jeans.
He even felt my ass and told me “it fits in my whole hand so that is good“.
I told him to let this be “our” thing and he agreed.
I would help him with his career and we would mess around.
He was real serious about me keeping this to myself because he never messed with a guy before.
As you know, we keep things private in the Foxhole, so I assured him I wouldn’t.
As an exchange for such a secret, I gave him the link to my own secret: Inside Jamari Fox.
I was so scared to do so, but again, he let me in on something he never did.
He left and I went to bed with a high I have never felt before.
The next night, he called me to clarify the events of the night before.
He basically tells me that he is STRAIGHT and that he doesn’t want to do anything with me that would lead me on.
So, if I see him with a female, he doesn’t want me to think he is some down low Wolf.
He also said he is comfortable in his sexuality and didn’t think of it a big deal doing what he did.
When I kissed him, he felt I did cross the line because he never did that before.
He also says that he thinks I am a cool and would want to keep a friendship with me.
He also saw that I was genuine when I gave him the link to my website.
He also said he would never give it to anyone because he is not that kind of person.
Funny enough, I was thinking all day that I was going to tell him that I wanted it to be professional.
I did not want to fuck around with him because I had “connections” for his career.
If I am going to let someone blow my back out, it had to be genuine peen.
All day, I was thinking about giving him my site and how vulnerable that made me feel.
And, if he was really attracted to me OR was it all for business?
We both agreed to be cool and to never mention it again.
But, he did say that I made him comfortable enough to do everything I did.
He also said he thinks of me as someone aggressive who goes for what he wants.
Made me smile…
I started to think about the Straight Wolves out there with these comfortable sexualities.
Is it a lead on?
How do we avoid this trap?
Or, is it our need for something always going to be the bait?
This is the first Wolf who I actually got this far with from the list of curious ones.
Who knows what the future holds, but I’m not holding onto a fantasy that may never happen.
I am actually cute and will meet someone else.
But, there are others who are in these traps who cannot get out.
They meet a Wolf and he plays with their emotions, sucking the life force out of them.
They go years and years wondering and praying… and probably nothing.
Or the Jackal or Hyena after you gets him, turns him out, and he becomes a major ho.
I had to wonder…
You’re right.
Damn you must be rubbing off on me. Lol
Lol honestly I was reading your responses thinking that you sounded like my blog. I think I’m making an impact.
Oh shit! Everything I wrote does sound like you! I was wondering where those new found values came from. Lol
I really wasn’t conscious of it at all. I’ve been mind fucked from across the country. Lol
Well, you really can’t be judgmental when you’ve already been there.
We can sit up here and pretend to be Billy Badass like we were always confident in our sexuality, but that’s not the truth. Even now, some of us openly admit, we rather play a more backseat role when it comes to our sexuality. So we can’t exactly fault him for not being sure to do either.
That said, I say be his friend. Play it by ear. Don’t be the one to make the next move. It’s up to him where he wants to take things.
I know what you’re saying Jay and I partly agree. It seems we DO always seem to believe that love has to be difficult. It doesn’t. We create those obstacles through the men we chase.
That said, soften up my little Aries baby.
Have some compassion.
Because we all were him at some point.
I’m really not trying to be difficult or hard on the dude, but I feel like this what dudes always do. They decide to play the friend role to the confused dude, hoping he’ll realize how unyielding their love for him is. They usually end of becoming his play thing.
I know it’s not that serious for Jamari, but 98% of us have been in this situation and how has hanging in there and being his rock worked out?
That last paragraph sums up my feelings about this situation. Do not entertain unavailable men if an available man is what you really want.
I agree that he’s not straight, but I’m not saying he’s gay either. He may be bi-curious and felt comfortable exploring things with you because he could tell that you weren’t looking for more than a physical thing. But you didn’t sleep with him. so your rep is intact – and he has just as much to lose.
I wouldn’t go any further – besides as a professional thing. See how he acts around you in the future.
And I wouldn’t feel too embarrassed; both of you are probably kicking yourself. Glad you made a move 😉
Wow. Those occurrences are always strange.
JAY said A LOT! Glad you’re going to play the friend role Jamari.
Thank you you all are telling my story only i do not know my wolf he just watches me everytime he sees me, but he will not act for 2 years now and i have done all one person can do to get him to act i have given the best face, best clothes, best walk and style but he is not acting ,i know another gay person who is loose that they had a connection, but wit me just looking and not acting, thank you everyone for helping me get over this crazy lust love thing my heart and head have taken in for much to long, my heart hurt for so long for this man, i like how he look his gaze is on point, but i feel he is playing a game he has played and won all his life he chooses loose gay men, who will not want much more than to give him neck, i feel he knows i want more , thank you all so very much, you all are the life coach i wish i had 2years ago, peace, love, and blessings.
ok, that answers my question. I originally though you two kissed and then you gave him ur web information and the next night he gave you the “straight” story. That’s why I said, could it have been the website.
Wow. I am no where near perfect, but I don’t understand how any of you can think anything good can come from entertaining this dude.
If he doesn’t know what he wants, that’s really not your problem.
On to the next one!
Maybe I’m wasting my breath (or words rather), but see this shit right here is why wolves have the upper hand.
You think you’re the only one he left hanging? If and when he wants a dude he can probably hit up any number of dudes that are waiting for him to “make up his mind”.
These are the warning signs people swear up and down say they didn’t see.
…And make no mistake, I understand quite well where dude is coming from, but that doesn’t mean YOU have to get sucked in.
I’m noticing more and more that our generation believes love has to involve some kind of opposition or obstacles to be of any value.
Nah homie, the initial, “getting to know” each other stage should be rather easy. If you’re dealing with drama from the jump that’s a bad sign.
-Rant Over
^thats why I said I’m not waiting.
More Wolves out there to deal with.
And sadly, it will be some Jackal or Hyena who will get the Wolf.
This is why I’m moving on and keeping it as friends only.
Jamari I advise my friend to understand that the supposed “straight wolf” is the most dangerous wolf out here, because of their guilt. His whole response was based on his guilt and maybe a little self hate, but the thing is we love him regardless though, we accept you rapper wolf, especially here 😉
This.
I used to be that wolf.
Just scared of what it actually meant.
Being with a man gave me a rush that I liked, but I didn’t know what that would do to me. Would it change who I was? Would it jeopardize what I wanted in my career? I had always planned on having kids, would I have to give that up?
These are the thoughts that go through your head.
And I’m sure he’s thinking the same one.
If he really had no interest in anything that took place that night, he would have stopped you.
The mere fact he waited until the next day to explain the situation to you after he had time to think about it (and attack himself) tells me there’s more there.
Be patient. This might be the one.
^Random…
See your comment can help many Wolves, Hybrids, and Foxes who lurk and are just like Rapper Wolf.
I am so glad no one was judgmental toward him and what he is feeling, or even what happened.
MANY people are going through this and I am glad I brought awareness to it.
You helped open up the floodgates for great conversation because I have A LOT of questions.
You played it different than what I would have. I wouldn’t have kissed him or let him felt me up because he’s not sure of himself. He would have left my crib disappointed as hell. He’s like a light switch, on and then off and this process continues until he’s sure of himself. If he hits you up and wants to smash, don’t let him, I don’t care what he says. If you sleep with him, you will wake up and he’ll regret the whole thing and you won’t hear from him for a while you know how it goes, and then you’re hurt and embarrassed again. You just have to take things slow Jamari.
^I am.
He has said he is straight and I will respect that.
I’m moreso talking about my feelings afterward.
But I def hear you Man.
I know A LOT of Foxes deal with this.
So I hope to hear some stories or opinions because this is very interesting.
Hey guys I think that we have to remember that they don’t think like we think. We know and identify with the evidence and call it what it is. However in their minds they wanna hold on to what they know so he is saying he is straight. I think that the identity of being classify as something other than the norm for him is scary so let him have it.
Jay, if you ever have a convo again with him let him know that you don’t have a problem with him being with a girl and being straight that cool. Just continue to make him feel comfortable, and allow him to build a trust in you and he will begin to open up to you more with time, but only if you still want him too.
^at this point,
I do not want to jeopardize a potential friendship.
If he wants it, he can cum and get it.
I will respect what he told me and continue to be respectful… and find another Wolf who will sniff around my Foxhole correctly.
Good point nerd all he might know is str8 and somthing different could be to scary for him. I say keep the friendship and keep it professional. And to get him back Jamari get with a fine wolf right in frount of him.
Don’t mean to be offensive, but this sounds naive as hell.
Too many decent dudes fall into this trap.
^explain JAY…
Dude is most def. curious but he’s scared at the same time. If he wasn’t curious, he damn sure would have hit you when you kissed him and he wouldn’t have felt you up either. Jamari he’s been thinking about dudes for a minute now. What gave it away was when you said he said that he doesn’t like hittin dudes up because they always make a pass at him. They make passes at him because they know his energy is off. When it keeps happenning that should tell you something. Dude just needs to come clean with himself. It’s one thing to lie to others, but it’s a whole different ball game when you lie to yourself. Attraction is something that shouldn’t be fought, you like what you like.
^I do feel he likes females tho.
I do agree that when I did kiss him,
I felt so open…
and I have never done that before, which made me feel sooooo vulnerable when he said he was straight.
Almost made me mad at myself.
I think he’s afraid that he might like it, that’s why he didn’t take it any further with you. That’s the way most people are.
^Man,
I’m just really embarrassed.
You know from how I write, I am NOT that kind of person.
I felt like I was personally lead on into something that was a huge miscommunication.
In person, I will never speak of this.
On my site,
I will be honest about my feelings because this is where I do my therapy sessions, whether good or bad. lol
I think it’s misleading to use the word ‘straight’ to refer to anyone who has sex in any form with a member of his/her own sex.
Men love the chase, and gay men are no exception, its the so called ‘straight’ men who seem to offer them that challenge. Its so very sad.
I hate this situation with all my being!! I hate being the curiosity breaker! It’s like what if they don’t like it? What if they don’t like me? What if this is all a game? What if they dont come back for more? I know this dude ain’t trying to play me? As a grown man I feel like I should be able to fuck whoever I want when I want to… But, when it comes to business I never cross the line, as much as I always want to.. I actually have a client that I’m head over heels for, he’s perfect in every way, I’ve gone to dinner with him, and events, we text, and chat on the phone, but it irks me to keep it professional, I’m borderline in love with him. I just can’t make that move tho, plus I’m not gonna fuck up my money because I wanna slut it up… You’re in a tough situation Jamari, but we got your back in the foxhole!!!<3
^that is the thing!
My Wolf is straight, so that means NADA.
I need to find me a model Wolf or something LOL
I’ll write about the issues with these industry Wolves, Hybrids, and Foxes in another entry coming up!
He is not straight!! He requested you to bobble head him! He allowed you to feel him up, and he reciprocated! He may desire to live as straight, of which will make you the eternal side piece, but is he a headliner or opening act material? Because there is no reason to jeopardize your career, your reputation, and your emotions, for rent money, iPads, headaches, and companionship … We fucking for mortgages in 2012!
^funny enough,
I had no desire to be with him in a relationship.
I would strictly mess around with him on a friends with benefits if he was interested…
I only felt sexually attracted to him.
could it be that the website freaked him out? If he is “straight” and an entertaier then he may be uncomfortable or intimidated by some of the things he saw on this website. He may feel he could be outed or part of a story that would be posted. Some dudes are discreet to the point of paranoia. He may have just got scared.
^everything happened BEFORE I showed him,
and he only read one entry and he enjoyed my writing.
Plus, I told him I would write about it BUT wouldn’t leave too many traceable details.
but, you do bring up a good point.
Man that’s fucked up Jamari he gets you all hot and bothered and comes the next day and says he’s str8. Str8 wolves who are not homophibic tend to do that. They want to know what’s it like to be with another dude but end up running back to their fish and leading us on. Smh Kamari I would have punched him in the ear