…or do i?
you ever felt a craving for something,
but you just couldn’t figure out what you wanted?
i get like that constantly.
i think i want something in particular,
but when i get it,
i realize it’s not what i really wanted.
i’m starting to feel this way about the male species…
back in the day,
i use to a real hoe.
it didn’t matter if the wolf was married or in a relationship.
vixen or another fox.
if i wanted him,
i was going to get him.
i’d meet them in the usual spots.
i was meeting so many wolves from off of those sites.
someone would hit me up,
we’d do that “back and forth” dance,
i’d unlock my pics if i thought they were serious,
they’d usually like what they saw,
numbers would be exchanged,
and i’d have some to waste time with.
the beauty was i could meet males from other states.
i met some wolves from here,
but i was so scared to be “found out”.
i always felt most of the ones from around here weren’t cute.
star fox (rip) put me on to going out of state for my meat.
so dudes and i would text and be on the phone for hours.
there was something real about the whole thing.
since i wasn’t close to them,
i’d end up having a few phone bone sessions.
I was damn good at phone boning too
wolves would call me just to phone sex.
i have a way with words.
some would end coming out here to visit.
a few occasions,
i’d road trip and end up meeting.
if the vibes were right,
i’d end up getting the real life dick.
it was always good times.
my appetite yearns for something else.
there are days when i’m hungry for a wolf to occupy my time.
i’d love to meet someone that hungers for me again.
most of the time tho,
my cravings lie in being a success.
i often wonder if i had it all,
from money to consistent dick,
would i truly be happy and content?
i don’t feel happy within my own skin/life at the moment.
my focus nowadays is “what will make jamari happy?”.
i miss the days when it was all so easy for me.
when things weren’t so over-exposed and blasé
when other males didn’t lower your self worth because you liked them
when i actually smiled from someone i was talking to
when i truly had no fucks to give about anything
i’d tired of craving something for the wanting of it.
somewhere down the line,
i think i allowed life/people/events to bring me down.
i miss when i felt fresh.
from meat to pursuing goals,
every craving felt like an orgasm to bite into.
i guess you can say i feel unfulfilled.