the emotionals have been on 1000.
there is pressure in my chest.
i’ve been crying off and on.
every time i sit still,
i start dwelling on things and people i know/like/maybe love(?).
i’ve had no energy to write anything tbh.
the thought of sleeping all day has been the move.
i slept off and on during election day.
wtf is happening to me?
we have defining moments in our lives that can change the dynamic in a snap.
i’ve been there.
i didn’t realize the impact of losing my parentals and best friend would have on me.
one of my best friends is experiencing a defining moment now…
we all have moments that define our lives.
i have had a few that shaped me in some way.
as traumatic as they were,
they definitely made me the fox i am today.
someone pointed out an epiphany moment during one of my defining moments.
i had to be about 10 or so…
…this is a long entry,
but there is a gem inside it for those looking for one…
“You got to hold on little longer than you think you can, cause there is good shit working its way to you that you don’t even know about.” – poussey, season 7, orange is the new black
as much as we can do the right thing,
stay on the straight and narrow,
be good to people,
and cross the street without jay walking,
we might not get our happy endings.
i decided to finish the entire last season of “orange is the new black“.
i started it when it first dropped,
but during that time of my life,
i was really depressed over work wolf and had no urge to do the things i loved.
the finale of that show,
where we saw endings and beginnings with all the characters,
reminded me of something…
*i’m currently laying in the swamp of the valley.
my fur is covered in mud and i haven’t gotten up from the bank.
the hyenas and jackals are trying to figure out if i’m dead.
they want to eat me alive.
as the tears are welling up in my eyes,
i am trying to find the strength to get up.
there was a point i was on top of a big mountain,
but evil forces threw me all the way back down to the bottom.
the swamp is a good place to be tho…