Hope your doing well. I’ve been a big fan of your blog for a long time. It speaks so much volumes as a black gay male. Something I’ve struggled with is feeling like i dont quite measure up to my peers, family, and colleagues in the relationship department. Looking back I realize that I dont really have any long tenured relationships. I’m not sure you could relate to this. I’ll be turning 30 next year and have been bombarded with strong feelings of loneliness recently. Can you relate?
thank you for all the love and support.
much appreciated on this end..
now let’s font…
to answer your question:
every single day.
i feel like many gay males feel this way.
even the cute ones with the nice bawdies.
as you know,
gay males don’t really have any big responsibilities.
some of don’t have kids or live like the straights.
we’re pretty much free to do whatever we want.
that can lead to a life of no direction.
others spend their days working hard to enjoy luxuries,
but that also doesn’t mean it will lead to a long lasting relationship either.
people have this crazy misconception within the gay community:
“It’s not about looks!”
the gay community is EXTREMELY judgmental.
if your face ain’t clear,
your bawdy isn’t a1,
your clothes don’t look runway ready,
and your ig doesn’t look like you got millions in the bank,
you’re pretty much down the food chain.
even the ones down below sit on a high horse.
they won’t even be your friend if they can’t fuck you.
i use to think i wanted a wolf that was cute but didn’t know he was.
i learned real quick those are the most toxic.
the gay community is built on three things:
you can spend your life going to clubs,
fuckin everyone in your circle,
and still end up with no one.
you could walk into work one day,
sit next to another dude,
and he becomes your man forever.
you could also switch those outcomes for different results.
this life is a toss up.
even with the straights these days,
it’s not guaranteed a partner.
i’m not gonna be one of those that gon’ say:
“Open up your horizons and your man gon’ come!
Now take two steps to the left,
click your heels,
and spin around in a circle for optimal results.”
it don’t work for the straights and it damn sure don’t work for us.
i’m also not gonna be one of those that will say:
“You should go out there and have sex.
sex sex sex sex sex.
go have sex.
…because for someone who is lonely,
that is also a fleeting moment.
once the nut is busted,
you’ll be craving for the companionship.
it’s like sugar and being addicted to sweets.
if you want to fuck,
then go right ahead.
nothing wrong with it,
but it’s not the end and be all to being gay/bi.
gay males want love,
but like most males,
we don’t know how to express it.
sex and social media are where we show our manly dominance,
but for those who are seeking “more”,
we need to put that same energy into love someone else.
at this point,
i’m focused on my happiness.
if success comes with meeting someone else along the way,
so be it.
i’m learning to be okay with that too.
i hope the same for you as well.