just like you, lebron james gets lonely too

i think many people who “make it” end up having buyer’s remorse.
we always forget about:

“In the Honeymoon Phase”

you’d think a baller wolf like lebron james would never feel lonely.
beautiful wife,
amazing kids,
celebrity friends,
and a shit ton of accolades.
he tweeted this the other day…

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stop dating while lonely with low self-esteem

when you reach a level of success,
whatever that looks like for you,
i feel you have to be very picky with who you let in your life.
i’m all for using the good lookin’ blow doll for a good time.

that is what they’re there for.

I have always had a problem with dating while lonely with low self-esteem.

once you had made something of yourself,
you shouldn’t be fuckin’ with low-hanging fruit because it’s easier.
think of it as a power dynamic

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dating? in 2020? for jamari fox? what is that you speak?

my anxiety is back in full force again.
i’m not sleeping through the whole night.
i’m waking up to throw up at like 4 or 5 am.
during another night of stomach issues,
i woke up with something on my mind.
it’s been on my mind for a while now.
after my hiv scare years ago,
i haven’t felt as comfortable to have random sex.
scrolling through dating and sex apps don’t excite me as they once did.
i don’t have many male gay friends to go out with.
i thought i met a poi i was 100% attracted to,
but he might be entertaining a vixen these days.
 i had to wonder...

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f0xmail: i get so lonely in this life. do you feel the same?

FOXMAIL

Hope your doing well. I’ve been a big fan of your blog for a long time. It speaks so much volumes as a black gay male. Something I’ve struggled with is feeling like i dont quite measure up to my peers, family, and colleagues in the relationship department. Looking back I realize that I dont really have any long tenured relationships. I’m not sure you could relate to this. I’ll be turning 30 next year and have been bombarded with strong feelings of loneliness recently. Can you relate?

MY ANSWER…

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The Prize Yet To Be Claimed

objects-0166_large“you are sitting there.
shiny.
waiting.
you are the object of desire.
everyone wants to try for your attention.
funny thing is…
they don’t.
they would rather play the easy game than the challenge.
you make people want to step up.
get their shit together because they know…
you not like everyone else.
the only problem is…
​you are too much of a prize to really pursue.
how crazy is that?”

they say if you think you are a “prize”,
others will view you just the same.
does that really work in this life?
hell is it even working for the straights?
well i don’t know what to think about it anymore.
being the person that sits on the top shelf.
the one who pays their bills on time,
credit is exceptional,
everything is in their name,
and they are living that independent hustle.
realistically that all could be used against you when you are trying to date.
who woulda thunk?
check it…
Continue reading “The Prize Yet To Be Claimed”