“you are sitting there.
you are the object of desire.
everyone wants to try for your attention.
funny thing is…
they would rather play the easy game than the challenge.
you make people want to step up.
get their shit together because they know…
you not like everyone else.
the only problem is…
you are too much of a prize to really pursue.
how crazy is that?”
they say if you think you are a “prize”,
others will view you just the same.
does that really work in this life?
hell is it even working for the straights?
well i don’t know what to think about it anymore.
being the person that sits on the top shelf.
the one who pays their bills on time,
credit is exceptional,
everything is in their name,
and they are living that independent hustle.
realistically that all could be used against you when you are trying to date.
who woulda thunk?
you walk around the forests,
doing what you do,
and striving to become this “prize” to the world.
people see how you carry yourself.
you are different.
it excites some; intimidates the rest.
the funny part is that you start seeing,
that the “gag bags” get scooped up first.
this prize that everyone says you are,
can’t seem to find anyone worth your time.
it makes you feel alone sitting so high up there.
so i had to wonder whats the point in being “the prize”?
the person who works hard.
the one who doesn’t want to be like everyone else.
is there someone really out there for them?
you go a little higher up the food chain and you’re “asking for too much”.
you go for something a little lower and “you need to do better”.
so as of now,
you are nowhere.
you latch onto people who are unavailable because they match the qualities you are looking for.
they appreciate you because of how you helped changed their life.
sadly that road leads to doom and you become the trapped:
the best friend who has to pretend like you don’t like this muthafucka
the cool gay guy that isn’t like the legion of messy gays
How long does that take?
…are you really suppose to wait for someone to notice you?
especially in a life that makes you feel you are rusty after a certain age.
in a life where people want easy,
rather than having to work for it,
i had to ask…