my anxiety is back in full force again.
i’m not sleeping through the whole night.
i’m waking up to throw up at like 4 or 5 am.
during another night of stomach issues,
i woke up with something on my mind.
it’s been on my mind for a while now.
after my hiv scare years ago,
i haven’t felt as comfortable to have random sex.
scrolling through dating and sex apps don’t excite me as they once did.
i don’t have many male gay friends to go out with.
i thought i met a poi i was 100% attracted to,
but he might be entertaining a vixen these days.
i had to wonder...
How TF am I going to meet someone to date?
during this pandemic,
where many of us are isolated,
it’s not promising as it once was.
it was hard before,
many of the straights around me are in situationships due to this rona.
they are only with old prospects because it’s comfortable.
i had a convo with one of my home-vixens that hit the nail on the head.
we were discussing someone returning back to a very toxic ass relationship:
i don’t feel comfortable within myself these days.
i’m struggling to find my purpose while battling extreme loneliness.
it hasn’t been easy.
I know many feel the same way i do as we press through 2020.
this year has been a lot tbh.
i wanted to be fully transparent today.