i’ve been extremely homophobic and i regret a lot of my behavior

i got an inter-forest dm from a foxholer a few days ago.
it was a thread on reddit they wanted me to discuss.
it was titled:

I’ve been extremely homophobic in the closet. I regret a lot of my behavior

…which i knew was gonna be juicy.
this is what was fonted:

This post is going to be weird, and if it’s inappropriate for this sub let me know:

I lurk here a little bit, and a post this week has been stuck in my head. It was something about an older, dl guy who bottoms for a guy but is extremely homophobic in his everyday life. This is very similar to my situation. I’m 21m, born and raised in a republican family. I have voted that way and expressed support in my everyday life, online, etc. I have also been extremely hateful about gay men, specifically more submissive ones. I have made countless jokes, memes, and rants against LGBTQ people. I would make fun of openly gay people in high school, don’t do this anymore but I still do a lot of bad talking about gay men in general and online.

All the while doing this, I’m a closeted gay man that has bottomed for dozens of guys. This is going to sound really stupid, but I guess I validated my adult homophobic behavior by my hookups not caring. A couple of my longtime f buddies I’ve opened up to this about and they thought it was hot being with a republican that acts the way I do irl. Except one who ghosted me after telling me off. In seeing how hurt this subreddit was by the other guy in the post, I have felt guilt for my actions. I’m making fun of people and being hateful for stuff I’m too embarrassed to admit to. I’ve been an incredibly shitty person, I’m really giving brief details but it’s not good at all what I have done.

I’m sorry if this post is upsetting. I feel like this was the best place to get this off my chest, and if you have any words for me, no matter how harsh, I’m all ears. I have done wrong to this community when I should be trying to fight the battle with you all. I don’t know if I can absolve what I’ve done but I’d like to try.

and these are my quick thoughts

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f0xmail: i didn’t get the xl experience i was promised! help!

ever so often,
one of my foxholers has a story to tell.
one that usually involves scams and flim flams.
the life of the attentionisto must be a hard one.
when you live such a busy life,
many can’t come through with their promises.
a foxholer sent me a whole dossier about @xlexperience.
i was sent an alleged experience to share with the class…

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when the #kiachallenge causes a foxholer to send in a tip about himself

the foxhole sends in tips daily for my review.
from attentionistos attentionisto-ing to celebs and their drama.
not often does a foxholer send in a tip about themselves tho.
a foxholer is the victim of the latest tiktok challenge called #kiachallenge.
he happens to own a kia and it has been broken into three times.
the #kiachallenge trend goes as follows according to ( x nbcnewyork )

“It shows how easy it is to steal the particular brands’ vehicles because of a security flaw with the cars.”

this is what the foxholer sent in for our review

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Protected: (patreon mail) he didn’t cum through with my 50 dollar video on onlyfans

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when he is begging you like crazy to put the tip in

some people feel restaurant workers should not get tipped.
they feel they should raise their pay so they don’t have to depend on tips.
in the onlyfans forest,
tips are a blessing.
if someone tips you,
that means you are coming through with the content.

Many of these folks should not be asking for tips PERIOD.

…especially with 1 to 2-minute videos of streamed wackness.
i can understand legit 10 to 20 minute videos of variety content.
a foxholer sent me an alleged story about a jackal who has been stalking for a tip.

this is what was slid into my dms

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f0xmail: the white gays wanted nothing to do with me in the gym sauna. racism?


Hi Jamari,

I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now and wanted to vent (and ask for your opinion) since I don’t really have any gay friends and I consider you a friend in my head (as Wendy Williams would say.)

I go to the gym in downtown New York during the week and usually go in the sauna after my workouts. As you may or may not know, it usually gets sexual once the straights walk out. I usually go to the gym by my job but the last two days I have tried one in a different neighborhood. Yesterday I had a good experience, but today when I went it was my first time having a negative experience.

This new location had both a steam room and a sauna. I walked into the steam room and there were about 7-8 fit white men. Usually, I am used to seeing a diverse crowd, but I sat down like I usually would. Within less then 5 minutes all the white men walked out. So, I stayed in the steam room for about 10 minutes and decided to see what the energy was like in the sauna. There were like 4 new (white faces) and like 5 of the 7 men that were in the first room. Again within 5 minutes the majority of the men left and based on the direction they all went back into the steam room. I then saw a black guy go into the room with all of the white men and they walked out. When the black guy came into the room I was in, the white guys walked back into the empty room. There was 1 overweight white guy who came into the room me and the other black guy was in, and once any fit white guy looked into our room they wouldn’t come in.

Part of me felt it was racist, but another part felt like it was also because I don’t have a perfect body (I have an average bodyflat stomach but no six pack). Regardless of the reason, this experience felt super catty, racist, and just inhumane. I understand everyone isn’t going to be attracted to you, but it felt very “you can’t sit with us.” I have had guys I wasn’t attracted to hit on me in the saunas before, but I still treat them with decency. I’ve heard stories about how white gays can be, but this was my first real experience with them in a group. I try to not stereotype groups, but this has really made me not want to deal with them in the future.

Do you think I am overreacting to this situation? What has your experience with white gays or gays in general been like?

P.S – This has motivated me even more to get the body I aspire to, and once I get there to remain humble.


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