f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….

i got a dm from a foxholer requesting advice on ig.
after reading it,
i felt really compelled to answer.
this is a quick background of what was sent to me:

a foxholer is working with a male who he thinks gets down.
he has been doing the “staring,
and making suspect comments disguised as jokes” shit.
the dude decides to back tf up and goes cold.
no warning.
the foxholer is now confused af and wondering what went wrong.

you know how that goes…

since i’ve dealt with that bullshit,
i had a few thoughts.

Continue reading “f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….”


he promised some meat, but it never came with the order

as you know,
straight males know gays are hungry for the meat and will pay top dollar for it.
now some “straights” are gay for pay out here.
they know how to mentally detach and do whatever to get their bills paid.
they will let you feast on them,
but only if the price is right.
many others are making a living by sending private videos for a fee.
the thing is:

Some come thru and others don’t

a foxholer has been having an alleged continuous issue with a straight attentionisto.
he sent me an email about it a few weeks ago that i answered:

Hey Jamari,
I feeling very spiteful. I’m so mad I just need to vent to you. I brought the bullshit on myself BIG TIME. Long story short, I was buying vids from this straight guy that I followed on IG. Last night I sent him $250 of my own money to watch him fuck a female on FaceTime. I know my actions please JF don’t judge me. The plan was a Flop. I wish I didn’t delete the messages but the last text I got from him was at 1:15pm yesterday. He blocked me on IG, all my messages went from blue to green and calls straight to voicemail. HE PLAYED ME AGAIN JAMARI FOX. He did the same thing back this previous February that’s why we fell out. He took my money and sent me screenshots about his card being detected for “suspicious activity” ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. I honestly I’m trying not to lose my shit JF. I’m so sad and mad that he did this to me the SECOND TIME. Now I’m enraged FULLY….. I want payback on this nigga. HE IS A SCAMMER AND A CON ARTIST…. FUCK HIM AND HIS ENTIRE EXISTENCE.

after the advice i gave,
it would be over.
this is what i was sent today

Continue reading “he promised some meat, but it never came with the order”


foxmail: my “straight” crush turned out to be gay, but he has a boyfriend other than me! help!


Hey Jamari,

Long time fan and reader here. This past weekend I’ve ran into an issue and I wanted to get your advice on it. So for pretty much my whole high school career I’ve had the BIGGEST crush on one of my friends. Just hanging out with him after school would make my day ten times better but I was always hurt because I knew I was wasting my time because he wasn’t gay so I just took it on the chin and tried to move on. This past weekend, some odd years after high school, this nigga decides to come out to me and introduce me to his boyfriend. To see I was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Now, all the emotions I had suppressed for years came back and I’ve been in my feelings these past couple days. I’m genuinely happy that he’s happy now but ain’t the same time, I’m sad that it’s not with me (I know this sounds selfish but that’s honestly how I feel). I need your advice as to how to move on with the friendship.

Should I just play everything off and deal with it?

Should i tell him and let that play out?

Or should I just stop talking to him?

You’re the only one I feel like I can talk to about this.Thank you for your time and I’d appreciate any feedback!


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f0xmail: i am homophobic towards myself and others. help!


Good day Jamari, I’m an avid reader of your blog and I have always viewed everyday after the day’s activities, well done. 

I’m a 21-year-old university student in West Central Africa and I had discovered my sexuality few years ago, I know full well that I’m homosexual, not heterosexual, nor bisexual. (albeit I have a smokescreen girlfriend, but she doesn’t even know she is hoax). Don’t blame me, I’m trying to not draw attention to my sexuality, because I could get close to 20 years jail term for it.
Consequently, I struggle with self-hate and hate related issues, probably due to the extremely homophobic environment I grew up in or perhaps, the fact that literally and metaphorically everyone around here is homophobic – I don’t really know which for sure. 

But I’m devastatingly tired of living life this way, I’ve missed lots of opportunities to be involved with men who find me attractive, e.g. In my university, I ignore men who look my way and sometimes I even feel disgust and throw homophobic slurs at them like “stop looking at me, faggot” and stuff like that – I don’t know if you understand me?


Other times, I had been the one to show interest and when they requite, I start to ignore, give them stern looks, and completely change my behaviors towards them. I totally find the idea of two men kissing repulsive and reprehensible, and at the same time fantasize the same.
I don’t plan on coming out to anyone ever, and I know for sure that nothing would induce me to.
My life is simply a paradox right now (in terms of my sexuality) and it also feels as an enigma to even myself.
Thank you.


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f0xmail: did i miss the boat on finding love in the life?


Hey, Jamari

I first want to start off by thanking you for this site!! Ever since I was 19 this has really been one of my favorite places to visit on the internet, you’re kind of like my big brother Fox in my head lol.
Okay, so here’s my issue, I’m now 25 (soon to be 26) and feel as if I have let my life pass me by. I’m a Discreet (more so DL) Fox that is originally from the Concrete Forest. After battling a crippling depression spiral for the past seven years that basically made my life revolve around going to work and going home, not really doing much besides hanging out with a few vixens that happen to be like family to me. I recently moved to the Southern Forest with this idea in my head that I was going to start building my life to take back what I didn’t get to have in my youth. But now that I’m here in this new forest I am realizing that I have no idea what I’m doing!! Part of the issue is that the career I’m pursuing in entertainment is finally making some headway and I don’t feel comfortable putting up pics on apps and the many wolves that I do catch staring, I always think that they may be out and so I talk myself out of risking it. On top of all that I have been saving my “first time” for that special wolf. & As I’m sure you can imagine this has led to me not having many intimate experiences (Kind of Embarrassing lol)…

What I really want to know is…

Is it still possible to meet a wolf in real life, without apps and online dating? Did I miss my window in my younger days to find puppy love with my Wolf in Shining Fur and instead should I just focus on having a good time for the rest of my 20’s? & If I do meet him will my lack of experience scare him off?


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f0xmail: i get so lonely in this life. do you feel the same?


Hope your doing well. I’ve been a big fan of your blog for a long time. It speaks so much volumes as a black gay male. Something I’ve struggled with is feeling like i dont quite measure up to my peers, family, and colleagues in the relationship department. Looking back I realize that I dont really have any long tenured relationships. I’m not sure you could relate to this. I’ll be turning 30 next year and have been bombarded with strong feelings of loneliness recently. Can you relate?


Continue reading “f0xmail: i get so lonely in this life. do you feel the same?”