the art of complete confusion and disorder.
life for me now is on some other shit.
trying to find happiness is a daily battle.
i guess the only time i feel a smile is when i get on here.
my place to escape when i need to feel better about myself.
once i shut my laptop,
it’s back to the real world.
when will things get better?
you ain’t miss cleo so you won’t know.
are things just as bad for everyone?
i don’t want to hang with anyone.
is this what the bottom feels like?
i started to wonder…
When will the good times roll?
“jamari you need a good fuck.
you need to be fucked hard.”
i hate when people say that.
i would love to be ridin’ a hard dick right now.
but after he cums,
i hop off…
i haven’t had sex in like 2 years.
that makes me depressed.
i’m not happy about that at all.
i use to know so many wolves.
the last time i had some bone in me,
it was semi-decent.
actually, it was terrible.
little hybrid fox.
could tell he was new to fuckin’ foxes.
he was still in the mode of being man handled.
i let him get inside me because we were both tipsy.
i said, “why not?”.
i ended up kicking myself saying, “why?”.
i’m over the city to even look anymore.
nothing excites me here.
the wolves here are either bums or trying to be something they aren’t.
you get on a chat site and it’s the same ol bullshit.
i have no patience to search for that.
i’m also looking for a job.
you try to look for a job and everyone is applying for the same thing.
the unemployment rate in new york is awful.
everyone is looking for a job.
it’s to the point that you look for a job outside your field,
and everyone is already camped out there waiting.
without a job doesn’t exactly make me happy or sexy either.
lord knows the last time i bought me something nice.
i find myself imagining myself living in another city.
somewhere that is far away from here.
a place where i can start over.
meeting new people.
nicer people that are actually fuckin’ polite.
even a place where looking for a job would be easier.
i won’t be given the run around like i’m some loser who doesn’t deserve shit.
i’m so depressed ya’ll.
i hope that soon my time will come.
i pray every night that i will find happiness.
someone will recognize me my talents.
i can get some good pipe from quality; not quantity.
i can start to smile again.
a real one.
i wonder when that day will be?
maybe when i bounce and go somewhere else?
when god stops punishing me?
who knows anymore…
- He Was Fuckin Me All Kinds of Stupid and Kept Leaving Something Inside Me (insidejamarifox.com)
- The Land of the Bisexuals; Population 10. (insidejamarifox.com)
- Guys… I’m Pregnant. (insidejamarifox.com)