All The Kappas I Know Are Losing Their Minds Over This Gay Wedding.

how dare these two people not fall in love!
how dare they say fuck it and get married!
how dare they!

my straight kappa homeboy called me flipping out.
i didn’t know what was going on until he slid the link to me in an email.
it seems that the he and the other kappas are not happy with these two being gay under their organization.
i wanted to seriously ask him…


…but i put the phone on mute to laugh.
i know a kappa who,
every time he see me,
tries to of this good stuffon the low.
his boy to be exact.
i know of an openly gay kappa in new york too.
lol at the big drama….

Robert Brown and Nathanael Gay are brave.


The couple, which tied the knot last month in a beautiful ceremony at the Griffin Gate Marriott Resort in Lexington, Kentucky, decided to share their precious moment with the world and posted a video of the celebration on YouTube. The video is quickly going viral and racking up spirited comments across various social networks.

As I watched the too-cute video, I felt conflicted about it being shared on social media. While I commended the two for being so open and marveled at how in love they looked, I felt sad for them because I knew the backlash would be vicious.

Despite it being 2012, many people don’t agree with homosexuality or think gays should have the right to marry. Although it’s within their right to feel that way, many take their opinions a step further and attempt to verbally condemn (and shame) those who live their lives differently. Predictably, that’s what is happening to Robert and Nathanael.

As the video began to spread, the comments grew. Twitter exploded and “Kappa” became a trending topic after folks picked up on the fact that Robert appears to be a member of Kappa Alpha Psi*, a historically black fraternity.

In one part of the video, Nathanael is seen “throwing up the Yo” (the hand sign) and presumably posing with other members of the fraternity. Many of the negative commenters used this brief image to condemn not only Robert and Nathanael, but also the fraternity as well.

While many of the comments about Robert and Nathanael’s union were positive, the onslaught of hate the wedding video provoked was astounding.

It’s clear when it comes to sexuality (and race, and sexism, and several other hot-button issues) people conveniently forget the adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself.” But in this case, I wish they would. Not only are they taking shots at a couple’s special day, but they’re also slandering a 101-year-old institution in the process.

*Note: It hasn’t been confirmed that Robert or Nathanael are members of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.


it hasn’t even been confirmed so….
i guess the idea of them being kappas is making people lose their minds.

i love it.
congrats to them.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

28 thoughts on “All The Kappas I Know Are Losing Their Minds Over This Gay Wedding.”

  1. This is disrespectful, frat business should stay different from personal ish, i find it very distasteful to throw up the Yo at such events or to ILLEGALLY use colors that represent more than 2 men who decide to go public with their business .. this is worth a lawsuit

  2. In a tweet sent by Robert, he contends that his husband is a Kappa (That would be the one with the red tie). So both are not Kappa. Does this make a difference to you out there hating on these people.

  3. 100% correct that every organization has someone who is gay, but society needs to get over the fact that we still exist and will continue. There need to be more self control, but enjoy life because we only get one. I thought the wedding was beautiful and I hope they have a great and long life of happiness together.

  4. The pictures only illustrates that the event was tasteful and obviously well planned. The fact that they belong to a fraternity is irrelevant.


  5. Okay, so…I’m a straight women who’s dated my share of frat boys and being the theater degree welding makeup artist that I am more often then not those first dates turn into confession sessions and open girl chat. They just feel comfortable with me I guess. I’ve had 4 Kappas come out to me, 1 alpha and 2 Sigmas. Im not trying to start any drama however if I was a gay man I’d imagine being in a fraternity would be heaven. Hot men, strolling and rolling and grinding…have you ever seen KAPPAS in a yard show!!? Honey hush!

  6. That was a beautiful ceremony.

    I always figured frats–much like football, basketball, and the military–were social clubs for masculine gay/bi men.

  7. In the 50’s Lucy and Desi Arnez – a married couple – slept in twin beds on their television show and the word “pregnant” was on the censored list. Of course, that mindset has changed and the mindset of hating on people in love (no matter their sexual orientation) will change too. The act of making their love very public ensures discussion (albeit sometimes vicious) and also ensures that ignorant mindsets will change. It’s gonna take some time, but it will happen. Kudos to them for being a part of that change.

  8. People need to mind their own damn business. I thought it was a beautiful thing to see. What made me even happier was seeing family and friends clearly involved AND that they were all black.

    I know plenty of Kappas and have dated enough to know there are plenty of gay men in the organization. Kappa Alpha Psi is a SOCIAL organization to begin with, not service. So if they were smart, they would capitalize on the video instead of shunning it.

    The people upset shouldn’t even have an opinion.

  9. God Bless Them. They are a beautiful couple. Love is love no matter what your sexual orientation. So the haters can go to Hater Land and gag on jealous Kool-Aid.

    As far as fraternities — I was online for Phi Beta Sigma but dropped line (thank God). I saw a lot of homoerotic stuff. I was just 18 then but lookign back I realize some of those brothers were screwing each other and everybody knew it.

    I won’t tell you how many fraternities I have banged out…I’ve done every frat. I will never forget a brother I banged out who was a Kappa and had it branded on his ass. Oh, and by the way, he was married with four kids.

    1. ^four kids!!!
      tell me more….
      especially about all the frats you banged out…

      don’t you guys love it when immanuel cums into the foxhole with a story before bed?

      1. In DC there was a club for married down-low, middle and upper middle class black men. Most of them were married. It had been in existence for more than a decade but the host, who is a gay man, is not hosting anymore so it died down. I found out about it and joined like six years ago. It gave me my first taste of group sex and I found out all sorts of men were down-low. Jamari, you had military guys, and lawyers and doctors and police and name it.

        I took another married guy with me and we met the Kappa there.He was a government lawyer. He never went by his real name at the party. He was called Diesel because he looked like Vin Diesel. Muscular, light-skinned, shaved headd bubble butt bottom who loved to get fucked.

        He followed my buddy and I around the house (there were sex rooms set up in bedrooms and in the basement — alcohol and food was set out in the living room and dining room) because honestly we were the hottest ones there.

        We tag team fucked him on a futon in the basement. I remember his ass was tight and the host came down and urged us to take it easy because he didn’t get fucked often. When he turned up his ass he had the triangular Kappa brand wit the K in the center.

        I thought to myself, “He must have been getting that ass banged since college if his brothers branded his ass.”

        Later I found out he was married. He had two kids and his wife had ust had twins around the time we fucked him. I couldn’t imagine him with woman — although he had a hot bottom dude had a micro dick and it never got hard.

        I went to several parties after that but I never saw him again. I heard he goes wwithout men for months and then go on sprees where he just gets fucked like crazy. Pent up demand eh?

        I’ve fucked members of every other frat — Alpha, Sigma, Iota you name it. Shit frats are some of the biggest freaks. Matter of fact, an old timer once told me men joined frats so they could get down with dudes away from wifeys and girlfriends.

  10. Saw this video first on a str8 blog, and the comments were lets just say it was not pretty, females were going bonkers, and males were just as upset. Personally, I never really believed that I could be brave enough to have a wedding and get married to another man, but I cant front, this video made my heart smile. I could not stop smiling, because it was one of the most special positive things I have ever seen concerning brothers in love. It made me think that this kind of love could be possible for myself, I just never wrapped my mind around a love this open. I know that the Black community will come down hardest on these brothers, and I hope that they have a strong enough love to survive the heat.

    Now as far as the Kappa’s, I know many are shaking in their closets. These are most down low brothers you will ever find. It is so many Kappa’s that get down, that its like a well known secret. Im sure its not many black brothers who have not had their dealings with Kappa Men. When I attend HBCU’s games and homecoming celebrations, I am often mistaken for a Kappa, I dont know if that is a good or bad thing, but if you ever want to see flirting with other dudes on the low in overdrive, attend a Kappa party. I have had the misfortune of dating a couple of Kappa brothers and IMO they are pretty much full of themselves and full of games and B.S. This is going to be interesting to say the least on how the Fraternity responds to this. The closet door may blow wide open on this one.

  11. This was such a beautiful wedding…. I dont know what the fuss is about, Kappa’s are known for being bi or gay, Ive dated a Kappa, and he shimmied his way inside me LOL (Who caught that?)

  12. From their Twitter feed, it appears Nate is the Kappa. And any org that thinks all their members are straight are just delusional. The Kappas could use this as an opportunity to congratulate one of their frat brothers on finding love…and maybe I’ll grow wings & be able to fly.

    In any case, they look happy – and seem to be the type of couple many dudes look for — just two men in love (and they got bank! lol). Now it seems they’re using this notoriety to spread their video…I ain’t mad at em.

  13. I’ll admit when I tried to watch the video I couldn’t help but find it a bit…peculiar.

    Call it nurture, upbringing, or whatever. I’m not a real sentimental, lovey-dovey type of dude either so maybe that plays a role.

    In any event, it evoked neither strong negative or positive feelings for me so I don’t think it makes me, or anyone else who may have felt similarly homophobic.

  14. Screw the frat crap. I never understood that mess! That video moved me to tears. I am always happy to see the smiles on the faces of black gay men in love. We don’t see that often! I wish them long lasting love and blessings even if it’s without to the Kappas! Love is love and we need more of that in this cruel cold world!

  15. I know PLENTY of gay men in fraternities. Just come to Atlanta; you’ll see everything you’d ever want to see. They don’t seem to “hide” the fact that they’re in frats. In the summer, just look for the dudes with the wife beaters, tank tops, and tee shirts. You’ll clearly see their brands and/or tatoos. They have decals on their cars and key chains and they occasionally wear parafernalia

      1. LOL! I already have… LOL! I’ve dated a sigma, a kappa, and several alphas. No ques or iotas… 🙁 One day… LOL

  16. If they are in fact Kappas, the organization will find a way to expel or shun them.

    Yes, there are gay people in every organization but most of them know to keep their sexuality separate from their letters…if they’re gay.

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