the things i (allegedly) learned from those who bagged sexy ig males

ya’ll are so nosy.
listen,
i get it.
i’m nosy too but my nosiness also comes with trust.
folks spill to me and they know it doesn’t get out.
i posted these stories on the foxhole ig yesterday:

…and i woke up to my box blown up with messages.

“Who?”
“Spill to me!”
“I wanna know too!”

okay so let’s font for a little.
i got some stuff to share with you…

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I’VE BEEN FRYING MY BRAINS OUT (NO HELP REQUIRED)

i’ve joined the cult with others frying their brains out too.
i’ve accepted my fate and will walk with my head held high.
so 2 weeks ago,
i was craving pizza heavy.
just like when i have the idea to hop on a dating app,
The Universe sends me something that turns me tf off completely.
i saw ( x this ) news story the day i was gonna order.
i did the dorothy face shortly after i read it:

something told me to check out all the restaurant grades in my area.
the violations of “evidence of rats/mice” made my head spin.
after my soul came back to my bawdy,
i decided to order something that i’ve heard folks raving about.
i didn’t know much about it before i did some research,
but i was sold after all the reviews…

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FOR MY DAY ONE (AND ONLY MY DAY ONE)

i’ll say one good thing that came out of that hooker that was ex therapist.
i’m sorry foxhole but i’m still really mad at her and that.
like,
i still haven’t gotten an email with a follow-up or anything.
she is absolutely banished to the lowest island of hell.
anyhoo,
for one of our past assignments,
she wanted me to start

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