I jut got back from seeing this movie and it was pretty damn amazing.
The acting was great.
The plot was great.
The drama was even better.
But, it left me with a ton of thoughts on the way home.
I’m sure Al Green crooning through my speakers with “I’m Tired of Being Alone” didn’t help either.
So I have a question and it is one I am sure every Fox could co-sign with.
Where is he?
So let’s get into the movie…
The movie centers around Jason (Laz Alonso) and Sabrina (Paula Patton) who fall – well hit– in love and they rush towards a wedding during 5 months of dating.
As the movie develops, you realize that she hasn’t met his family and that is where all the great drama continues.
(Can I just say how beautiful Angela Basset is?)
Anyway, her family is upper class and his family is ghetto Brooklyn – you already see where I am going with this.
Makes for a great romantic comedy (with an array of fine men and a great black movie WITHOUT a pistol packin’ grandmother).
I won’t give away too much but you already know how the movie ends and what it made me feel like.
It made me want what Sabrina must have been feeling.
Not menstrual cramps – but the feeling of having someone dominant want her.
Someone who is a fuckin’ man and knows his role.
Laz Alonso is just so sexy and so masculine.
It was a turn on the way he would look at this character and saunter about.
I know that getting married and having the big wedding hoopla is not in our lifestyle,
and quite frank I wouldn’t want all of that that,
but can a Fox just meet a Wolf who will be his best friend for life?
And in this eternal search for Wolfie,
why is it that when I turn around that all I see are feminine Wolves?
Glitterati super tight jeans, the mega switch in the strut, and giving extra drama wherever he goes?
And if he does happen to be masculine, where is his swag?
Did he lose it trying to keep up appearances (or not)?
I mean dusty jeans, bad breath, and so much dirt on his sneakers that you couldn’t tell they were white before.
I know that all of us want a Laz, Romeo, or even a Pooch “Derwin” Hall but are they hiding somewhere?
We thought they were online but obviously that is FALSE and one I strongly not put to much hope in.
Do we have to pray him into our lives?
Does God really answer these kind of prayers?
Do we accidentally meet him when our grocery cart bumps into his and we exchange numbers over cans of tuna?
Do we go to the clubs in hopes of meeting Mister Right Now and try to turn him into Mister Right?
You see where I’m going with this?
This is one movie that I call “My Life” that will be continued…
…and ain’t nuttin worst than being alone with a beat up unusable ass.
Expanding my social circles is a lot easier said than done. Especially when you aren’t exactly sure where these types of men are despite the culture of this city. There are a lot of gay men here but many are not the types one would seek to spend their time with to be totally honest. But i hear what you’re saying…
Last point: don’t get so caught up in the hunt that you lose sight of the bigger picture. Expanding your social circle helps keep you from myopia. Now will everyone make it to your inner circle? Of course not. But you can make some new friends & just be a better, well-rounded you. Everything shouldn’t be about finding Mr. Right Wolf (or Fox, or Vixen). That’s frustrating & often fruitless. Plus you give off the wrong spirit. Some (almost all) of my best relationships came when I wasn’t looking – just doing me. That’s my bigger point. Get into you. Expand you. Get to know & grow & love you – first.
Cuz to me? This ‘woe is me, I can’t find a man’ ish is just another kind of thirsty. Y’all better than that…I know I am 😉
Well, in my view, things like staying open to new experiences and being and loving yourself and what not tend to be sort of default things to say. You can find them in self help pamphlets and its nice. Sure, there’s validity to it and it has its place but it never really addresses the issue that there seems to be an on going problem with finding serious, committed, relationships within this community. What accounts for the proportion of the people do we know who are these relationships versus those who aren’t? How many of us are aware of what it takes to actually find a healthy partnering let alone be in one? The concept of not coming across men who are viable candidates for LTRs is actually very real. There are large portions of us whom, through experiencing many disappointments and developing poor dating habits early on (like early to mid 20s), tend to become broken and jaded don’t believe two men can be in lasting relationships. They tend to become very negative and pessimistic as time goes on. There also seems to be the issue of being sex focused and have many partners in attempts to fill empty emotional voids. This brings about lots of emotional problems and people who are willing to settle for the crumbs of what a man will give because they believe something is better than nothing.
I don’t believe foxes and wolves have it the same in this lifestyle despite both being male. Ending up alone in this lifestyle is a very real thing and I think it’s important that we begin to address it. But that’s just me…
They’ve generally met through friends or certain social circles…
^^^THIS. While there is the off-chance that you’ll meet someone on BGC, FB, Twitter, or in the club, most likely you’ll meet him in a regular social setting: party of a mutual acquaintance, work reception, etc. Cuz if you know those other places are all about sex, what makes you think we don’t? Since y’all young folk are almost completely social-media whores, I won’t completely discount Twitter & FB, but it depends on his account. If it’s all pictures of his chest, crotch, and general nakedness — not exactly husband material.
I’m not a big fan of social media so I don’t hunt for them on the internet. So the chances are greater for finding someone you’d be interested in through…. networking? I don’t know too many wolves to be completely honest. The ones i do know tend to be loners and often to interact with other wolves. My friends are mostly foxes and when they throw parties… there tends to be nothing but. So that doesn’t work. But it sounds like the best way to meet them are in places where the atmosphere is something other than superficial. I’m not sure where to find these places to be completely honest with you. At least not places where i wouldn’t be surrounded by fysh and heterosexual men with probably one or two wolves sprinkled throughout who i would probably have a harder time seeking out. What other things would you suggest?
Dude…I’m not sure. I would think that in the A there’s opportunities to meet people. Maybe you need to expand your circles beyond solely foxes. I mean, I’ve never been one to only surround myself with one type of person – wolf, fox, vixen, etc., so I dunno.
I’ve met kats at poetry groups, bookstores, mutual friends/acquaintances, random sex encounters, school, …
Heard the movie was really good as well actually. I’m glad you liked it because i do value your opinion on things. When it comes to the rest of ur post… I ask myself these questions everyday in my search for Mr. Right. There are plenty who are definitely not what I’m looking for but i don’t believe my standards are such that I’m writing off men who would be a good match. At the very least It isn’t wrong to want a man who’s on the more masculine side of things.
I have no idea if I will ever end up with him but i do know they exist. They have to lol. I’ve seen some of them in gay clubs here in the city. Are they looking for someone like me? Are they even looking for serious? I don’t know. But I’m not going to throw in the towel. I will have to echo what JAY said in that I dont see too many partnerings (from the few that i’ve come across) who found each other through online networking sites or at the club. They’ve generally met through friends or certain social circles…. Maybe there is something more to that?
I swore I said that before (where to meet wolves), but y’all not hearing me…lol
Please remind us. =)
I think it’s all chance. Some people will find that other half and other won’t.
I can only speak from my experience, but I don’t see guys meeting and creating meaningful relationships in clubs or on BGC or A4A or at gyms. All the guys I know that are or have been in relationships were acquainted with the dude outside of this lifestyle, as in they grew up with them or ran in the same circles.
Romeo know he grew into a FINE FINE man. I got plans for him lol
AMEN PREACH ON BROTHER J. I think its honestly luck that you meet that wolf. Right place right time and knowing how to make it work. And its even worse when you live in a small ass town. You get really discouraged, and tired of hoping and wishing that you might find someone. Im go have a seat cause you bout to have me shouting in here