Don’t Start The Fire If You Can’t Take Your Hose And…

…. grrrrr!!!!

Everyone has a different experience in this lifestyle.

Some of us can walk out the door and start sucking a dick by the time you turn a corner.
Others meet Wolves once we get them comfortable.
A majority however are not meeting anyone.
It is what it is, ya know?
I believe it is all in your season.
At that time, you are you most confident and your sex appeal is highest.

Sometimes, a nigga is just having an OFF moment.

But, what happens when you meet a Wolf you think gets down and he is slowly going about the connection?
You know that wack “I’m really undressing you with my eyes” bullshit.
How do you successfully get him out his fur?
And, would he ever come out?
I had to wonder…

How do you rescue the Wolf who is trapped in his own closet,
but trying to get into yours?

Imagine this being your homeboy:

Ya’ll met on some random shit.
You been crushing on him ever since ya’ll met and been cool.
He has been giving you signs that he may get down.
Ya know, the eye contact lasts a lot longer.
The touches in places that are forbidden to straight Wolves.
The infamous “treating you like you are his girlfriend” act.
He is more than comfortable with getting half naked in front of you.
You know, “THE BULLSHIT“.

You tell a close homeboy, who is also gay, about him in a quick vent session.
More like he is making you horny and jackin off just ain’t cutting it no mo!
He tells you to just tell him that you like him.
You go ahead and do it and….
Wolf tells you that he is flattered, but he isn’t gay.
This all follows by a swift curve.
He proceeds to cut you off and ignore you.

It was all good bout a week ago…

The is the same story with these Wolves/Foxes/Hybrids who are trapped in the closet.
They are curious and are attracted to you, but they do not want to accept the feelings they are feeling.

It is okay baby.
I been there too.
Ima need your whole hand to NOT travel down my horny back in your accepting process though…

I have learned a trick in this whole process I’m about to share with you guys…

The art is to make them as comfortable as possible.
That means you need to play “The Nice Fox/Hybrid/or Wolf“.
So PLEASE lose that funky ass attitude and be nice.
This is new to him so you need to make him feel like you are there for him.
As he low key flirts with you, you do it INDIRECTLY.
Being DIRECT only works for Wolves who have been running in this lifestyle HEAVY.
Just be his friend and relax.
I know you want him that you can taste it, but there is a process to this.
I learned that lesson with Rapper Wolf and that whole mess.

Life is not like a Noah’s Arc script.
And even Noah had to make Wade comfortable before he felt the whole penis.
But realistically, how long does it take for this muthafucka to get comfortable?
He could get married, have kids, and then at 55 talk about he wants that.
Are you willing to wait long?
I sure to hell WON’T.
His money will be funny at that point.
My love is up for the highest bidder and once the auction is over,
I’m gone forever.
I don’t want to hear you in the future talking about, “Boo I’m ready for you!
Ummmm…. you better get off my property with that bullshit before my BOO come home and shoot you.



So I’m willing to ask you all who are playing the waiting game with “one of them“…

How long are you willing to wait?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

21 thoughts on “Don’t Start The Fire If You Can’t Take Your Hose And…”

  1. My attention span is pretty short unless you’re amazing.

    Usually as time progresses my crush wears off quickly because I’m so observant and I analyze everything people do.

    Moving on to the next has never, ever been my problem.

  2. I’m not going to wait too long. I’m interested in somebody for only so long unless they are showing me signs that the feeling is mutual. I make men attracted to me because I’m really nice and respectful, and when they flirt with me, I act like I don’t know what they are doing.

  3. To be honest I wouldn’t even be in a situation like this because I’m only attracted to dudes that are already getting down and have accepted themselves for who they really are and they make no apologize for it and are not scared to go after any dude they want. So basically if the dude doesn’t identify himself as gay to me then he is just a picture hanging on the wall u look at it and keep going

  4. I’m sort of in the middle on this one. When I want someone, I don’t want to wait too long. But when I’m the wanted, I usually end up having the other person wait. This doesn’t happen often because I do not make myself available to many in terms of relationships.

  5. I hope everyone will listen to Young Fox because as someone who has been in these type of situations before, they never work out, these dudes are not strong enough to close the deal even though you know they are feeling you, they deal with too much and most of these dudes psyche are fragile. You will be better off with a dude who you know gets down, because these downlow dudes will have you walking the floor at night and you still will not get nothing out of the deal at the end of the day. I wish I could say no more but just this weekend this dude I have a relationship with sort of like this, called me saying he was drunk and wanted to come over and spend the night, mind you this nigga wont sleep on the couch but in the bed with me, and I got to admit its hard as hell not to want to rape this nigga(lol) nothing has ever happened because I know that once I initiate this contact he will start saying shit like wtf man. Well I waited until 4am for him to show and he never did, sent me a text saying he decided to chill with a female he met. Like I said run, but it aint easy because these dudes are always manly and attractive and our ideal, but it just looks good,like a shiny red apple; but on the inside it has a lot of worms.

      1. Jamari, I was going to put that in their lol, that really made me feel some type of way, I dont know why because like I said he is not mine and we aint never even discuss that, but he knows I get down, but always plays it off. When I dont keep in contact with him, he is like man I miss you, whats going on, where you been, when we gone hang out. But he also throws in the fact that he is hollering at some “Vixen”, I guess to fool himself. My other friends tell me its so obvious that he likes you, but I want approach the situation on that level because I know he will shut it down because he is not secure in his sexuality.

    1. I often find with men its usually best to be indifferent. Sad but true.

      I bet if you had told that dude NOT to come over you’re not up for it he would’ve worn you down and then showed up.

      I just feel like if you tell a dude you’re feeling him most of them don’t know how to deal with that, especially if they’re feeling you too. Mind games and “chillin” have become the norm.

  6. Does anyone feel like the one who indetify as “gay” tend to be raging whores?
    So it is almost like the downlow Wolf (hybrid or fox for your role) is perfect because he hasn’t been turned out,
    and the gay Wolf is also perfect because he goes after what he wants….

    but they both are stupid with the other stupid shit they do.

  7. I actually have evidence to prove the otherwise. I date and have dated for a while DL dudes who were not associated or wanting to be identified as gay. I am building a relationship right now with one and its scandalous because of his job and associations. I mean like Jamari said you have to make them feel comfortable and you have to be patient. I waited for i think a year or so and now like its just me and him. I will however add that I am slightly direct with DL dudes. I believe that you have to communicate with them, get them to really trust you. Like I wear a promise ring, and it signifies for him that I wont sleep with any other dude.

    Speaking about “him” specifically, he like really anti being gay and stuff but he cant help the fact that he is in love with a dude. I dont try to understand it, I dont seek to help him “realize” himself. I just show him being with a dude is something that can make you freakin happy in life, fuck what people think or feel about it. He wants to get married and I am ok with that. He wants kids and that cool too. I think that if he were to get married i’d be absolutely fine with that. It sounds crazy but I have found by not being manipulative you get a better result.

    1. Interesting.
      Has he ever said he loves you?
      I imagine his conflicting feelings would make him close one minute and distant the next minute.
      I think you’d be a tad bit affected if he decided one day it was over and decided to get married and have kids because you are indeed investing your time.

    2. ^Butter,
      I am glad you showed another side of the coin.
      Some Foxes have better luck with DL Wolves and maybe you learned how to play the game that it works better.

  8. just b/c u decide not to wait, does that mean the friendship/relationship has to cease? can u explore other options while maintaing your relationship, all the while building trust? and if some point while you’re available down the road, he may open up. speaking from experience, got this guy who was lowkey playing footsy with me (him doing it while i let it happen) in a restaurant with like 6 other ppl at the table. i was cool about it and didnt say a thing once we left. didn’t sit around and wait for him, but neither did i change my behavior towards him.

  9. Im so pissed off right now, i just feel stupid, is bout this guy who have been watching me everytime at the gym, the one thing that got me really asking my self is he on me? was when i was talking to e friend of mine in the gym , and he turned his head and start starring at me talking to eachother , i look at him and then he turn his head back , but i turn around and i saw him from the other mirror and i saw him , starring at me , but not directly , i dont know if u guys get what im trying to say, ok so today i followed him and called him, he stoped walking and i ask him why was he starring at me everything in the gym, he was so nervous and he said “Me? no man whats that”? i said i dont know man, like when i was talking to the white guy , you keep starring at me like, if u knew me from before or wanted to join to the convo, he told me , and look what he said, he said” no man i look at everybody in the gym because im new at the gym so im trying to learn from all of you guy, then we walked and he asked me where i live and i told him near and then he told that his place is here and then i took my way and he took his, NOW WHAT SHOULD I TELL HIM TOMORROW? DO U GUY THINK THAT I WENT TO HARD OR DID I SCARED HIM?

    1. At least you initiated contact. That’s more than most of us do.
      I guess just speak to him and make convo and see where it goes…

  10. Speak to him. Introduce yourself. If you keep acknowledging him sooner or later you should be able to get to know him a little, if he wants you to.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: