I love your site and have been a fan of yours now since about February of this year. I love the advice that you give and the responses that you readers make, its not the usual gay agenda type bullshit lol. Anyways I read your post “Don’t Start The Fire If You Can’t Take Your Hose And…” and it resonated with me. This article describes my life to the tee and I hate it. I am 20 about to turn 21 in August and I have no true success stories from my gay relationships and I have been in MANY since 17 and I have yet to have to actually have anal sex I have topped once. Though I believe I am a Hybrid sometimes I exhibit werewolf qualities and it really bothers me that the only people who I really like are my straight male friends that exhibit some sort of unusual interest in me. I mean like they put me on a pedestal over their girlfriend or mama type shit and I don’t pay them any attention. This “straight” guy once told me that he ‘hasn’t cried in a while and the only way he probably would is if me or his mama got shot’ WTF?? I literally just stared at him and didn’t respond
Yet this one guy who has gotten underneath my skin but there are so many red flags. I met him at FAMU while he was dating my female cousin (1st strike). Once he found out that I was gay we became extremely close for some reason and my cousin started to get suspicious and we ended up falling out over a petty argument. He continued to be cool with me while dating my cousin even going so far as to text me at 3 am just to ask me what I was doing. Long story short he and my cousin broke up and he and I fell out.(Strike Number 2)
Fast-forward a year and we reconciled our friendship after breaking up with my cousin he left FAMU, went back to his ex girlfriend and got her pregnant, and now has a gorgeous baby boy (Strike Number 3). Since he was working two jobs to take care of his son he decided that he wasn’t making enough so he enrolled in the army. I also left FAMU this May so there was a chance that we would never see each other again and he wanted to see me before he left and even though I didn’t understand why but I agreed to meet him at our mutual friends house when he got in to town.
We had established that he had somewhere to stay before he came up here. Yet he gets to Tallahassee and he ends up staying with me sleeping in the same… damn… bed with no shirt on and his muscles and tattoos showing. It took a lot of self-control for me to not lose my virginity to him that night. I tried to make him sleep in the couch the next night and he refused and play fought me ending up sleeping in my bed again every night until we left. After I moved back home he started to ignore my texts and I sent him a message asking him “what happened” and he read it instantly and didn’t respond, so I left it alone and pushed past the situation. He left for the Army 2 weeks ago and I cannot stop thinking about him and worrying about him if he’s alright and its scaring me because I NEVER felt this way about a nigga before no matter how rich or good looking I usually never paid a dude more than dust.
Plus I would never want to date him because even though me and the mutual friend aren’t cool anymore, I feel as though it would be fucked up since she was once a “friend”. What should I do in this situation?
Thank you for the compliment and being a faithful reader,
but let’s have a real talk.
I been where you were.
I had a Wolf who did almost the same things to me when I was new to the lifestyle.
We never slept in the same bed,
but he was mind fuckin’ the shit out of me until I was addicted.
Weeks later, he just vanished.
He up and moved to ATL.
I called his house every day and his family was very hush-hush.
To this day I don’t know what happened.
When he came back months later, he wanted to see me first.
We stopped speaking and he now has a baby.
let’s talk about all those red flags first.
First red flag, he was your COUSIN’S Wolf.
That right there should have been the first sign.
We meet Wolves in the craziest situations,
but try to avoid anyone in your family.
Also look at it like this.
What if he met someone else and put you in your cousin’s position?
That alone is the first red flag.
Second red flag, he broke up with your cousin and then you and him both fell out.
That was when it was time to let him go,
but he found out you were gay and still wanted to pursue you a year later.
Or, maybe use you and you didn’t realize?
Third and the worst, he got some other chick pregnant.
Did he have a job?
If not: no bueno.
Kids and no job = no tail.
He appeared to be interested in you
but worst of all,
he was playing games.
He knew what he was doing sleeping in your bed.
He wanted YOU to initiate something.
OR, maybe he was using you for a place to stay and knew you were attracted to him?
The reason you cannot stop thinking about it is because it is a question that hasn’t been answered.
You want him and now he is gone.
Plus, he is ignoring you and we as humans HATE to be ignored.
If he was so cool, why is it ignoring your texts and calls?
Either, he is trying to fight his feelings OR he is an asshole.
Take the L and move on.
He isn’t worth the stress because let’s say you do get with him.
Let’s say he does come back and shows who he is.
You will probably get the meanest SMASH of your entire life, get turned out, and then he will bounce again.
Not only will your tail be smashed to smithereens,
so will your heart.
God removes people out our lives for a reason.
He isn’t worth it.
He isn’t even worth sniffing your tail.
Just like my past Wolf wasn’t either.
Take it as a lesson you needed to learn.
Look for it and you will find it.
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