1 is the UN-Loneliest Number

Going out alone has always been weird to me.

I am so use to finding someone else to tag along with to occupy time.
I always felt it meant you were a loner or banished by society.
Lately, I have been feeling unfulfilled with people in my life.
Tired of waiting for phone calls, waiting for late people to arrive, and tired of being alone even if I am out with a ton of people
(read between the lines of that last statement).

So, I made a desicion to go out and enjoy my life as a solo act.
Go out there, network, and find what I am looking for.

Pop the hood for what I discovered…

I took myself to brunch today.
Jamari took Jamari on a date.
I put on my best outfit and went to a nice restaurant offering the best soul-food in he city.
I saw a ton of celebs have eaten their before and decided to give it a sh0t.
Of course, my non-direction following ass was lost briefly, but I ended up finding the spot.
When I walked inside, I was surprised to see how intimate it was.
It was also all eyes on me, which caused me to become instantly shy.
When I am with someone else, I am able to feed off their energy.
I noticed I became so nervous that when it came time to speak up, I had a frog in my throat.

I was so awkward and not “that guy” people are use too.
I was ONE and ONE was lonely.
I was seated next to a older white couple;
only to realize this white man was feasting on me instead of his plate.
As his wife/girlfriend/mistress was carrying on about some LV bag,
he was carrying on an eye conversation with my body.
My waiter was a muscular dude with guns of steel.
I was so quiet that he couldn’t hear me order what Spike Lee suggested in his review.
I had a Mimosa to start me off on the right path lol
Well, whatever food I ordered, I damn near had a mouth orgasm….

IT WAS DELICIOUS.

I scanned the roomed as I ate and saw an abundance of couples and groups of friends.
It was a diverse mixture.
It was funny to see this white college guy tearing into his fried chicken.
I guess the stereotype is not always true.
I noticed this one cute dude in the far corner with his girl.
They were chatting it up and feeding off their banter.
I smiled and enjoyed their energy, even though I didn’t know them.
There was one sista in there by herself.
She looked mean and bitter.
Her nose turned so far up that she could smell her own ass.

I hope I don’t give off that impression.

As I was finishing up my delicious meal, they came in.
Well I saw HIM first.
This muscular Wolf in sweats and a track jacket.
He looked like a younger version of an older Will Smith.
The Fox was dressed in a blazer, t shirt, jeans, and a fedora.
The Wolf and I played eye games for a brief second, but he was respectful of his date.
They snuck off to a corner seat and enjoyed “them”.

I paid my 12.62, said bye to the waiters, and walked out.

On my first outing alone,
I realized that I need to feed off my own energy.
I was nervous and maybe that nervousness is what Wolfs pick up from me.
THAT DID BOTHER ME.
I won’t lie.

I love this self discovery I am on.
If I don’t find anything else, I will find me.

Later.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

6 thoughts on “1 is the UN-Loneliest Number

  1. Woooo sounds like a glorious restaurant we have here called THE TOOT N TELL! WOOOOO YES! and yes I do live in the south. That name is fit for southern gold! wOOOOOO AMEN! JESUS BE A FORK AND A GOOD NAPIKIN! HONEY MANY A COUNTRY STARS HAVE EATEN THERE!

    Anyway, I am glad you are learning to get a feel for your own energy. It is a littler nerve wrecking to go out alone, but as long as you know you can do it, you wont feel the need to feed off others..instead you will learn to filter the energy you have from being around others and reflect it through yourself to give you an immaculate glow! That glow will attract others…..its the glow of confidence.

  2. Treating yourself is a good first step and you picked the hardest day to do it so good for you! Next time hit up a spot on a tuesday showing the game for dinner ……. you would be surprised who you might run into sir .

  3. Good for you! You gotta be able to enjoy your own company – you’re by yourself, not alone/lonely.

    My baby is growing…*tear*

      1. I think the nervousness comes because it’s not something you’re used to. Once you do it a few times, you’ll be straight (no pun intended lol).

  4. Going out by yourself is the best! You don’t have to worry about keeping up conversation or making sure the other person is comfortable or any of that. This just another step towards putting yourself in places to meet men. When you’re with someone, it makes it a lot more difficult for guys to approach. When your alone it’s less intimidating. Nervousness goes away the more you do it. Next you’ll be doing but lots of the desirable wolves do and that’s go to parties by yourself. I know it sounds crazy but I’m noticing a lot of them do it.

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