The Over Abundance of Neck Critters

I got neck critters.
No…. my neck does not have crabs.
The back of my neck feels itchy and annoying.
I am not a happy Fox right now.

I went to the barber shop Thursday to get my weekly hair cut.
I usually like to make sure that I am looking fresh,
just in case some plans arise for the weekend.

I woke up on Friday and my neck felt like it was burning.
I reach back there to see what’s good….
and it is infiltrated with…


You know I was TITTTTTEEEEEEEEEE right?
Definitely NOT Fox swaggy.

I went as fast as I could and douced my neck with alcohol.
Brief sharp stinging pain might, but whatever, pain is beauty.
I had to suck it up and go to work with the neck critters.
I used some stuff (Tend Skin and Bump Patrol) but it isn’t really helping.
I don’t know WHAT to do…..!

No one can actually see it,
unless I am getting fucked doggystyle and since THAT isn’t part of my weekend plans……

Any suggestions?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “The Over Abundance of Neck Critters”

  1. If you are not used to having them, they will go right away. Do not worry. I always get my head skinned at the barbershop on the sides n such..i get a bald fade as they call it..the first few times i would get these bc the hair was cut so low and my head wasnt used to it….after the 4th time…they stopped and now my head is as shiny, beautiful, neat, and smooth as 100 percent african born native chocolate! Now, you wil be just fine honey. Let them go away. They are IRRITATION bumps..not real razor bumps. The clippers have a tendency to irritate the skin after it has cut the hair so low and still clipping the skin.

  2. Bump patrol usually works but try Apple cider vinegar or extra virgin olive oil 15 minutes before showering. Also, try to find the best aloe vera gel you can find and apply that. Rubbing alcohol disinfects, but also dries the skin; aloe moisterizes and heals.

  3. As long as your barber cleans his clippers after every cut, they’re probably irritation bumps like Choc said. Was this the first time in a while you cut them that close?

    And why not get fugged doggy-style this weekend? Why not? I think that’s a great idea! 🙂

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