7 words you should never have to hear in life.
I love chatting with TOPS and straight dudes.
In this case, purely platonic.
Like women and straight men, a TOP that is a friend
is potentially trying to hit that.
But, in talking with them,
you always learn so much that can help you be the best bottom you can be.
So a couple days ago, I was….
… talking to my TOP friend, and he was telling me that he asked Shorty from BGC to come over his spot. Shorty (the bottom for the slow ones) came over and they started fooling around. They decide to have sex. In the middle of his “death stroke” as he calls it, Shorty yelped out…. and then took a crap all over the bed.
” LMAO. He shit on you?” I typed.
“Shorty took a shit on my bed. WTF???” He replied.
“LMAO LMAO!” Me, in hysterics.
“Shut the fuck up yo.” Him, with a tail between his legs.
The rest of the story went something like me laughing OD, and him talking about his sheets he had to throw away.
This is where this blog is about to go.
(and can apply to the females who like anal)
Whassup. I’m talking to you.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. this is not the first time I have heard about bottoms getting fucked and then shitting all over a nigga’s bed, couch, nightstand, or whatever. I always meet tops and wonder why they ask me, “Is your ass clean?”
“Is my ass clean?????????????????”
Why would I present a nasty dinner to a TOP? That is like cooking a half assed dinner and saying, “Here eat it.” Not cleaning the chicken or the salad. Not this Fox. I have been smashed and never painted any TOPS stick dark chocolate!
(knocks on wood and says a prayer)
Tops have always complimented me on my fresh clean ass. Yup. If I know I am about to get fucked, maybe will be getting fucked, or just a simple getting eaten out – I make sure the booty is clean. AND YOU SHOULD TOO!
I’m about to take you into The School Of Jamari Freshness to save you the embarrassment.
Are you familiar with that? No? Then you are taking a hot dump on these TOPS.
I suggest about 2 or 3 hours before the initial intercourse, you do a quick enema (If you want to be EXTRA cleaned out, look for SUPER). You basically shit out all the contents you were holding inside. After you are done, chase it with water.
That means to fill the bottle up with warm water and shoot it up there again. Make sure that the liquid that comes out is clear. Not dark brown with little pieces of corn in it. CLEAR. That means you are officially ready to be smashed!
Now, the reason I said 2 to 3 hours before, is you may have some slight after shocks. You may have gas or might have to go again. Either way, give yourself a couple hours so you can be sure there will be no mishaps.
Oh, and try to eat light. Not a Thanksgiving kind of meal. But, something that won’t be knocked down when you are being knocked up. LOL.
… and there you have it.
Now go on and get fucked! Tell your top I said “Your welcome“.