“jamari…
i know you are upset but you have got to stop letting this take over your emotions.
i’m gonna help you turn this all around…”

that was someone i’ve met here that i word-vomitted to.
they could tell i was up to my wits end with it all.
so they said in font earlier today…

“my step father acts this same way.
i use to go at it with my step father but the way i deal with my step father is simple.
i don’t engage too much,
one word responses,
don’t fall for the bait of trying to get into arguments,
and disengaging when i feel its going left.
the thing with these types is what’s happening in their heads.
they want to see things being done because it calms their anxiety.
you have got to strategically walk around their emotions.
it seems like when this person gets stressed over their shit,
they get manic and it take it out on the nearest person.
that would be you rn.
when my step father got like that,
i didn’t respond and just let him talk,
asking opened questions to dead the conversation.
it takes skill but they like it when they know whats going on.
it’s not gonna be easy but you have to play the game.
also they seem crazy type A and you are a chill type B.
you both will never work so i think you need to try and get out for your sanity.”

i was told to listen to this book by someone else as well:

they were right.
i was letting my emotions drive the car rather than my logic.
i decided today that i can’t let this break me anymore.
i have dealt with bigger bitches before and somehow,
i made it though to something better.
even when i thought i was down for the count,
i got a second wind and came back swinging with the help of God.
it always feels like:

the last big bitch was easier than the new bigger bitch.

i’m tired of always going at it with these random big ass bitches.
i’d like my life to be on easy mode after i defeat this level i’m on.

lowkey: thanks for holding as i work thorough all this shit.