here is what she said.
there is what young jamari heard.

yesterday at work,
one of the younger vixens said something to me that threw me off.
something went down; she felt uncomfortable with another male there.
she admitted she felt more comfortable with me because:

“you’re a girl’s girl.”
“you’re one of the girls.”
“you’re girly pop”
“you’re the universal hand sign for gay”

cue spongebob:

it hit a old wound of trauma that a sat in young jamari...

it hit a deeper place of hatred within myself but the she said:

“no,
you aren’t like the other guys.”

after about a minute after she walked away,
i felt sad because it opened up a trigger a lot of trauma.
i can imagine young jamari taking her words and dwelling on every past experience,
trying to justify this is why no wolf wants me,
and what everyone is saying/conspiring behind my back.
i would have compared myself to all the straight wolves i know.
a minute after that:

i felt myself moving forward and taking it as a compliment

i’m gay and that’s amazing.

better than being straight.
have we seen how some of these straights act nowadays?
yuck.

in her way tho,
she was saying she trusts me.
i’m not a creep or trying to get in her pants.
i create my own boundaries and respect everyone else.
it takes no great effort for vixens to see me as a safe space.
they like being around me and open up very quickly.
there is a high level of comfort many vixens have with me and honestly:

if the vixens feel this was,
what do i think the wolves are thinking/feeling?

trauma.
trauma.
trauma.
see ya later trauma.
so i told younger jamari its okay.
not everything is meant to be an insult.
some people don’t word things correctly…

…but the underlying messages is there if you choose to see it.

lowkey: my energy is so chill and warm,
animals gravitate towards me.
the millions of dogs that have come in and out of here,
they all fight tooth and nail to be in my space.
even my friend’s dog last night was all over me.
sbe was so confused as to what was going on.