f0xmail: I Want My Boss… and I Don’t Know What To Do. Help!

tumblr_mmgyojPcCd1rx93fyo9_1280FOXMAIL

Aye J, I’s in trouble again:

I’M FEELING MY GOTDAMN BOSS.

So, in September of last year, we got a new guy as our manager:

-32 (I’m 25)
-6’2″
-Spaniard/Portuguese
-Husky
-Short haired & scruffy
-Very much rock band member-esque

..basically NOT MY TYPE at all. LMAO. I like flavored men. I see myself with a flavored man. Yeah. Flavored.

He’s gay, but masculine, sweet, corny (in an adorable way) and loves music (as I do). I really didn’t think much of him at the beginning, probably because in the physical sense, I wasn’t drawn to him. But as you know, its quite easy to fall for someone even if they don’t tickle your fancy in the looks department, especially if you’re a hopeless ass romantic like me. And that’s exactly what I’ve foolishly done: Fell for him. DAMMIT! What have I fucking done?! It’s to the point now that I see something in his physical now too… like a tall teddy bear. (Shit, I’m getting all warm and fuzzy as I type this! LORD.) This would be easy if he wasn’t the boss of me, but he is. Interoffice affairs are a no-no… and he’s even expressed how much he dislikes them. (He said he experienced it once.) His actions say so much of the opposite though; flirts like a MOTHERFUCKER, longingly stares at me (I can feel him staring from across the room!), makes sly remarks about how I need a white guy in my life since I’ve never dated one (I respond accordingly… he’s never been with a black guy) and the energy between the both of us is a bit telltale. On the flipside, he’ll say things about how he doesn’t believe in love because he’s scared of falling in love again and shit, but he ain’t foolin’ this nigga. He’s a mushy, romantic dude who’s (basically) damaged goods.

I know I can romanticize things, but am I in this situation? I’m at a loss… I have no clue what I’m supposed to do here. Do I deny this “crush” or fall back a bit and see where this may go? I feel dumb for texting him at times, thinking I’m foolish for believing in this, but I do.

J, what is my next move?

MY ANSWER…

well as one who is trying to move on from my own “office crush”,
i can understand where you are coming from.

listen you can’t help who you fall for.
we have all crushed/got into relations with someone at our jobs.
we see these people for 8+ hours a day.
sometimes more than our own families.
its hard to not feel an attraction for someone at work.
hell and you know how hard it is to find someone in this “life”.
we might just meet him on the job…
tumblr_muqgveShS41shadn7o1_400
…and “accidentally” start giving him blow jobs off the clock.

in your situation,
this happens to be the boss.
your superior.
texting him and the convos…
well it goes from appropriate to inappropriate.
in some cases,
fuckin’ the boss can get you perks.
you become one of the “favorites”.
longer lunches.
days off unexcused.
some even get a pay raise.
the best part?
the dick cums home with you at the end of the night.

tumblr_ngpm0sSGE11qbjqn3o7_500on the flip side,
if all goes south,
things can get very uncomfortable.
you have to work under “this asshole” every day.
that same asshole can find a way to let you go as well.
hell let you go and make it so you don’t get unemployment.

my advice?
fall back and keep your emotions in check.
you can become his friend.
keep it professional,
but still make your way into being a “favorite”.
basically get into his head and make him chase you.
once you leave that job,
then by all means:
tumblr_nk7ibin75h1rlb6iho1_400 tumblr_nk7ibin75h1rlb6iho2_400its one thing to smash a dl co worker on the low,
but its another to start smashin’ the boss.
that can create a shit storm real quick.
its true what they say:

“hell hath no fury than a boss scorned”

well no one actually says that,
but i’ll say it.
be careful reader!

best,
jamari fox

need advice: CONTACT

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “f0xmail: I Want My Boss… and I Don’t Know What To Do. Help!

  1. First off, any 32 year old with half a brain would not get serious with a 25 year old. If they do they’re usually desperate or generous. They SHOULD be in two different places in their lives. It is what it is.

    Crushes are healthy and normal, but some of us have to really learn how to keep it at that. You’re not meant to act on every single guy you have a crush on and every crush isn’t potential for a relationship!

    I’d be exhausted as hell, if I acted on every crush I had. Yeah it sucks you can’t always get what you want, but guess what? Crushes pass! Usually just as quickly as they came.

    I’ve worked with and crushed on many fine coworkers and supervisors, but NO ONE will fuck with my money! This isn’t the movies, it’s silly to lose a job and ruin your future employment references because you can’t turn your focus to the many other fishes in the sea…outside the workplace.

    Do what you want though. From what you’ve shared he’s already given you enough ammo to claim sexual harassment if you were a person of questionable character so maybe he doesn’t care about any of the rules of the workplace.

    1. Not necessarily, I wouldn’t say that they’re desperate or even generous if they date younger. Guy I’ve been dating our age and differences reflect this.
      I have a great foundation and so does he.

    2. Well 32 and 25 is nothing compared to what some other people do that I know. Nothing seems to amaze me anymore lol. Yea I agree, crushes will fade, and it ain’t worth risking your money. Business and pleasure don’t mix.

  2. To the foxmail-er: Are you lonely? Sometimes, when we are lonely, even the most random person can become attractive, even if they dont fit your normal criteria. I’ve noticed this with myself. I know you said you’re a romantic as well, so maybe its just you looking for a reason to be involved with someone.
    Keep your head on your shoulders and shake it off! Jamari was right for if and when it goes sour, they could fire you, and you might be left without valuable references.
    Perhaps just use this situation as a good way to keep a good rapport with your boss! Having him as a reliable contact is very valuable. Who knows? if you’re not working there anymore, maybe something can blossom! But while you’re there, do NOT get it twisted!
    Good luck!

  3. If the relationship does not work, you will be out the door, trust me. He holds the power over you man, just make the right decision. Think with your big head, not the little one lol.

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