Sit There and Let Me Review U

19821_oratoday was judgment day.
i woke up extra early for the event.
i felt rested since i fell asleep a little after “being mary jane”.
i knew it was going to be my performance review,
so i wanted to be there rested and ready.
when i got on the train,
i noticed everyone was holding their noses.
that only meant one thing

SOMEONE HOMELESS WAS STINKIN’ UP THE JOINT

3HAYjfmCCaWhk2mS3sYboy was he.
he shitted and peed on himself.
i got off the next stop and waited for another train.
i wasn’t gonna deal with that shit.
literally.
well i got to work late because of that.
not too late,
but it was def a “close call”.

at 1050,
and this may sound silly,
but i went to the bathroom to say a quick prayer.
i also did some deep breathing.
i needed to be calm for whatever was about to happen.

when i got in there,
mr green and also liar liar were waiting inside.
i saw mr green and i had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be good.

well i got a 60 out of 100.
my performance is stellar.
no complaints.
actually i got a lot of compliments from various people.
my appearance and attitude got the best reviews.
problem solving and attention to detail came in a close second.
my absences,
lateness,
and not working with my “team” were the main issues.
liar liar glared at me with the “team work” part.
eh.
i didn’t argue.
i didn’t want a perfect score anyway.

“try to improve these things for next year.” – my boss said.

giphy…um,
if there IS a next year.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

19 thoughts on “Sit There and Let Me Review U

  1. Well, I guess it went better than expected. I’m glad no one said anything smart you.

    When I read about the homeless man, I died. LMAO…

    1. ^the worst part is,
      when you see an empty train car,
      you know what the deal is.
      it was packed!
      i was so tite when I got it and took a left…
      here go this pineapple!
      that smell was AWFUL!

  2. I would’ve asked them to clarify the not being a team member part. As part of your review they are supposed to explain what you did and give instances. I don’t play with that not a team player crap. I tell them I’m a VERY good team player and I’ve got the comments/compliments to prove it!
    Future note…if anyone gives you kudos, print it and put in a folder! That’s your ammo! LOL

      1. nahy…don’t send them to her. hold on to that stuff and the next time they say that you’re not a team player…bust out that file! Then watch the mouth hit the floor! LOL
        My peeps once told me that I’m not a team player and I politely told them I beg to differ and MANY people at the school would seem to differ in that opinion. They said how can you say that. I excused myself, went to my office, and came back with the folder…and said because these people told me so. The look on their faces was priceless dude. LOL

  3. It seem you and me are not having it. Guess what my graduation have been push up, instead of 2016 it will 2017, and I was so looking forward to graduating and getting the hell out of here. I am tired of the hypocrisy of the U.S. they want kids to go to college, but why it so expensive?

  4. Some of us could be the CEO right now, but don’t know how to get out our own way. It’s a damn shame, but we are quick to blame others when things don’t go right. No boo, it’s on you.

  5. Dude! All that performance review shit is the corporate way of seasoning a slave. I nod, smile, offer a few responses as I can get away with, sign where appropriate and move on…All that shit is subjective and at a minimum reflects their perception of what I am willing to do for the $$. If you’re still on the payroll, you’re winning. I will never strive for perfection or above average performance up in somebody else’s shit. It’s not MY DREAM, LMAO but real talk.

    Plot and plan your escape…”I’s gwo’n way from here!” said every runaway slave EVER, LOL.

    Entrepreneurship is scary, but worth it. I rue the day that I traded economic freedom for a damn job. I’m finna make another run for it. Let’s build. I’m a consultant and strategist, maybe I can offer you some ideas about how to get and stay fee.

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