Dear G-Spot, My Bomb Pussy Needs A Permanent Dick.

I use to be scared of the dick.
Now I throws lips to the shit.
Handles it like a real bitch….


Yet, Lil Kim is alone… and a face full of crazy.
She has a wall so high up that a nigga needs a hurdle to get over it.
Trina has boasted that she is the baddest bitch,
but there is yet to be a ring on that finger.
She was sending crying pictures to Kenyon Martin after he dropped her ass.
That doesn’t sound like the “baddest bitch” to me.
Evelyn Lozada probably has some great Spanish twat,
but it left her engaged for 9 years to Antoine Walker and putting up with bullshit from Ochocino.
She politely told him on national TV that if he wants to fuck some other bitch,
she will buy the condoms.
She also told him that she needs to “like the girl” if they decide to menage.
Excuse me, say what now??!?
… and these are just Vixens!
Don’t even get me started on the gay side of the fence.
Because realistically, we are all a hot ass mess on this side of town.

Every muthafucka thinks their shit is official.
I sometimes have to roll my eyes when I see/hear/smell that bullshit.
We listen to these rap divas and real life bitches and take on their sexual persona.
On social media and even real life,
everyone is bragging they have the tightest walls or the official throat.
But, if all it took was some bomb dome or good Foxtail to “keep a Wolf in the house“…
why is you alone in the crib doing Kegals?
Or, you sitting on a chat site all damn day  going through men like jock straps in the NFL?
Just stop it….

You could have some nice plump lips from “Casa De La SupaHead“,
or even the fattest ripest ass that would put Buffy the Body to shame,
but my question is…

Why are you still single?

I have been told I have some good tight juicy.
I should because I am not out here wearing my ass out to every Wolf who says “sup” in a text.
In the past, I have made Wolves cum in 5 minutes and even had a few call backs.
But, it has never kept a Wolf around for more than a few back breaking sessions.
I use to think the value of a Fox was with his ass.
I should have because every song out today has told us how to “keep a Wolf“.
They all glorify some sexual act that is the new “in” thing.

“Baby baby baby…
When you shat on my chest…
Baby baby baby…
I felt like I was better than the rest…”

Realistically Foxes,
a Wolf don’t know or care how good your shit is.
You can blind fold him and put his dick in a hot apple pie and  he will feel the same thing.
In a world where 10 out of 10 times,
another nigga has a bigger ass and no ceilings when it comes to fucking and sucking,
how do we officially keep a Wolf interested longer than a bump ‘n’ grind?
He may be attracted to you physically and may put in effort knocking that thang DOWN,
but it don’t mean he love your ass and will stay and talk to you when you are going through it.
I also do not see the Wolf cuffing the Fox who let him skeet all over his face on Xtube.
If so, BEST BELIEVE he is skeeting on other faces on that same account.

You ever notice that a Fox will gas up a nigga…
He will meet him on the bases of sex and try to lock him down.
He will bring the Wolf to his crib at like 11pm and allow him to get violated in every good way possible.
The Fox will call all his Foxy friends next morning without brushing his teeth with all the “deets”.
He remembers each position and how many times he busted last night.
He can remember the Wolf’s name and every thing the Wolf told him.
His Foxy friends are all now jealous because they are still alone.
They, in turn, try to copy the same exact scenario that got the original Fox “the good Wolf”.
Little do they realize the Wolf has probably moved on and will probably keep that Fox on dick stand by.
He only remembers that he fucked “some freak that fucked him good at his crib the other night“.

So, what else you got?
Because time is short and your sphincter muscle can’t take anymore pounding.
You can’t afford to be the booty call of niggas who don’t give a fuck about you.
You try to meet a Wolf with that bomb ass resume and it ends up being the same story.
Emotional, lonely, and horny.
A deadly mix which leads you FUCKED.
Yes, he is fine as shit and all you see is those pecs and abs,
but you are dying for him to take you seriously.
You are stomach first and ready to let him dig you out,
but he is just thinking about the warmness of your insides.

These days, I want Wolves to know that Jamari Fox has a personality (as well as zip lock ass).
I like to read a book when I’m bored.
I love to have an adventure.
I want to jump out a fucking airplane.
I play the shit out of a video game and I can throw down in the kitchen.
I am concerned about world issues.
I want to travel and see new places and experience new things.
But, Wolves would never know that because I didn’t bother to share.
I showed him an ass shot online,
competing with the other whores,
and thought he would stick around because of my beauty and assets.

I started to think about all this bomb shit we all have. or think we have
It is not keeping a Wolf, so why do we glorify it so much?
I know that we are men and think about sex and blah blah blah…
…but can we try something new?
I like sex like the next man, but sex with genuine passion is better than any one nighter.
You know the stock of any product goes down when everyone has it.
So, why are you giving it to everyone?
Shit, what else do you have to offer a nigga?
I gotta ask…

Has some bomb ass ever made a Wolf put a ring on it?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

80 thoughts on “Dear G-Spot, My Bomb Pussy Needs A Permanent Dick.

  1. No.
    I’ll never forget one day I was talking to an ex of mine about how foxes put so much emphasis on how good their butt is and how so many of them essentially attach their level of self-worth to how good they think their sex game is.
    He flat out told me, “They’re stupid and those are the exact ones that end up lonely, chasing dick that will never wife them. You can’t control a man that doesn’t love you with ass. Ass is not in demand. Dick is. Ass is a dime a dozen.”
    Right then in that moment I felt like he had told me the meaning of life or some shit.

    Fact is, sex is not a bargaining tool. Great head and good butt (hell, even good dick) is great, but you can get it anywhere. Just look at some of these community porn websites. There are men out here handing out dick and ass like it’s candy.

    What a man falls in love with is your personality. The things that make you different.

    I’m single, but I have a great relationship with every wolf (and fox) I’ve ever dated, particularly the ones that really worked to get to know me. I’m told I’m rare. Marriage material. What makes me that, according to them, is my personality. I’m one of the most caring, generous, loving people you’ll ever meet and that’s what they fall in love with. What usually goes wrong is that they realize THEY’RE not shit. Not the other way around.

    So, to this day, I have wolves who know me who will literally stop what they’re doing to help me, whenever I need them. If I need something done, they’ll go out of their way to make it happen.

    That’s what more foxes and hybrids need to focus on. Investing in their personality rather than their ass.

    1. Apologies for the paragraph, but it’s something that has always irked me about this community. The hypersexualized environment we create.

    2. You know what i find so complex about this whole personality ordeal in our community Random? Majority of us spend so much time investing in hiding who we really are or what we really want just to be accepted into a relationship or fit into a society that will dog us out regardless, that we often unconsciously erase ourselves (our worth, our personality) to make room for all these pretenses and by the time we realize it was better just being “me”…it’s almost impossible to get back to being “you”. It’s a mind thing really.

  2. Nah…never seen it happened to the point a dude takes you off the market…now he will call back for more every now and then. But come to think of it J, there was this one guy I was having sex with off and on for some time who seemed to have started to catch feelings. He wanted to start hanging out more, going out together, etc, etc but I shut it down because our relations was strictly based off of sex…no bueno.

    Can we get some Wolves in here to answer this question because it always seemed as if most are claiming to have this and have that when it comes down to sex and it use to get to me because I thought you had to become really nasty during sex in order to get the wolf of your dreams…so i wrote that bitch off because 1. i’m above going beneath myself just for a guy to have sex with me 2. if i consider you a one night stand everything i tell you is a lie and i will probably never speak to you again 3. i get more pleasure from jacking myself off 4. i’m not open to strangers on the first few meets 5. i get more satisfaction out of just being together doing things we love than out of sex. Therefore, I’m not in the business of finding out if he need to sample the goods before a relationship….uh…keep it moving.

  3. i have another question:

    how do we, as the submissive ones, make our personalities shine to a Wolf in a sea of whores?
    ass shots and no ceilings positions are in…. or are they?
    i feel if the skeet is easy to get then the wolf loses interest faster.
    wrong?

  4. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^GOOD FUCKING COMMENT!!!!!
    do you think we do this because this is subconsciously what we are trained to do????

    Thank You! And yeah, no doubt…esp. in the black community. Its coupled with the whole “image” thing…like living paycheck to paycheck because you “needed” that new ML 350 so the people at work won’t think I’m actually still living at home or my roommates are cock roaches and mice.

    1. ^the gay equaivilent:

      sucking and fucking nobodies to prove to your friends (lifestyle) that you got “trade”.
      and that is fine and dandy…
      but you are nothing but a body part and not an actual human anymore.
      and to be honest,
      that whole shit is WACK.

  5. No… Personally I get I look like I’m standoffish and some what intimidating go figure. Personally I blame porn lol but seriously niggas see things on tv an expect a regular person to do that. And if that person can’t they go through so many till they find the one that can. Plus every body got a damn image that they are the shit that sex with them should be pleasure. Can there just b one humble person in this world when it comes to sex cause all these dope dick niggas and bomb ass bottoms ain’t shit but STDS

    1. ^everyone is trying to be a reality star.
      no one is in it to meet anyone and date.
      this whole lifestyle is a fuck fest.
      if you going to do ho shit then have something to show for it than a sex tape on xtube or a wallet with moths in it.

  6. A fox giving up good ass to a wolf is not enough to keep him around. Vixens are the same, they think if they wait on a man hand and foot and suck his dick every night he will stay around, but this is not the case. People who have this mindset will live miserable lives, and they will have a hard time finding and keeping a significant other. Any man can give up ass to another man, and there will always be women who can do things better than the next woman, that’s just a part of life. Trust me when I say, it takes more than sex to keep this wolf right here around. I have to be emotionally and mentally connected to someone in order to decide if I can pursue a relationship with them. Just like the dude that I like now, I’m so interested into getting to know him that I’m not even thinking about having sex with him because I like him and I want to get to know more about him. When I’m genuinely interested in a person, sex is the furtest thing from my mind, and I feel that everyone should be this way.

    1. ^i agree here.
      when i really like a wolf,
      i cannot picture myself having sex with him because i keep those thoughts at bay.

      don’t get me wrong,
      i am sexually attracted to him,
      but i want to get to know him on a whole new level.

    2. I feel this.
      The wolf I’m getting to know, I’ve been getting to know for about 6 or 7 months now.
      So sex. Really, no mention of it. I’m more interested in knowing his story. Where does he come from? What does he like to eat? Who broke his heart and why?

      That’s way more interesting to me than the dick. In fact, I don’t even know his dick size.

  7. I’m not a full fledged fox, but I feel this and I’m all in my feelings now.

    I’m really not as hyper-sexual as I sometimes portray myself to be, but I feel like I’ve been conditioned to reach out that way, especially by men.

    I can’t say “I’m lonely, I want someone to talk to” but I can say “Sup? You wanna get it in or what?”.

    I keep all my emails, even on my alias accounts and I find myself sad when I look through them and read some of the freaky bullshit I wrote just because I wanted some kind of attention.

    1. ^JAY…
      your comment was a major breakthrough.
      i always felt you wanted some kind of affection but you fight it.
      you are going to have to seriously un-train yourself and try a new approach.

    2. Jay booboo it’s alright we all have these days. Do what I always say put in some power music and all will be fine. As far as these hunger wolves and thirsty foxes fuck um ours is around the corner

    3. I’m open to talking with you Jay if you need an ear. It’s good to actually get it out of your system. I’ve been framed as a great listener.

  8. I’m gunna go against the grain here…

    This is something I am constantly revisiting. Sex will NEVER keep a wolf around (exclusively) because it’s so easy to get. However, in our community we use our looks and features as a form of currency. You have to be ‘cute enough’ to feel a certain way or have a certain attitude. Your body has to be ‘good enough’ for u to wear certain things without others coming and knocking u down a few pegs. So of course, when dealing with a group of people who put forth a lot of emphasis on looks and subsequently sex… It only makes sense that we would appeal to these things to gain their attention. We glorify it so much because it’s our way of stating our value to wolves who put value on it. Let’s be real… If you do not meet their standards, they will not give u the time of day. I don’t care how much they say they’re looking for something deeper or meaningful or watever… They want these things in someone they want to sleep with. So since that’s at the top of the list, that is where we as foxes place the most emphasis. It keeps their attention for a short while and in that span you may try to charm them with how ‘unique’ and ‘dynamic’ you think u are.

    From my experience, wolves would rather make a sexual connection than an emotional or metal one. Its instant gratification and requires less effort. How many times have you tried to a meaningful conversation about your thoughts and interests and were met with short responses (if any at all) and long pauses? How many times have you felt like the two of you had a great connection after hanging out talking and soon after the contact becomes less frequent? How many times have people asked you why are you single despite being so awesome? We love to talk about developing your inner person and having a personality and whit and a point of view and all that… But he still isnt all that into you. Or he says you’re special/ interesting/ marriage marriage material yet STILL DIDN’T PUT A RING ON IT. It’s more so about finding someone who is at a point in their life where they are interested in a serious relationship or at least something consistent. Personality may keep them interested in conversation but if they are not wanting to be tied down… All of that stuff about how great they think u are and what a great partner u would make… Means nothing. Men communicate through their actions not with words and their actions say ‘despite all of what I just said I do not want to be in a committed relationship with you.’

    (This is the part where the ‘less shallow’ amongst us come in and say stop chasing their approval and live your life and the right one will come waltzing in.)

    1. ^maybe…
      we need to stop appealing to IDIOTS and meet a different kind of Wolf?
      he can look good and just have a different mentality.

      let’s be real….
      those who think like this are the ones online and in the clubs.
      trust me when i say i have been around different kinds of gays these days,
      popular gays (even straight folks) who are trying to be rappers and singers,
      and they are all BROKE and BASIC.
      Up in the club with no priorities and fucking and sucking each other with no kind of point.
      Sleeping on couches and no place to really live.
      Lying, cheating, and stealing to be popular with no focus.

      so maybe we need to stop giving attention to the popular wolves and hyrbids that live by this standard….

      just a thought.

  9. Ive been around all these popular boys and I don’t “do” popular.
    Especially broke and popular.
    Nice to look at, but not enough to take serious.
    I have so much stories about popular escorts, homeless, and ruined reps.

    I’m looking to date low key, fine, paid, and 50/50.

    1. ‘Im looking to date low key, fine, paid, and 50/50’ may actually be asking for the holy grail of wolves. When it comes to wolves, u can’t have it all and u often have to pick and choose on which of those qualities will u compromise on.

      Want to meet a different kind of wolf? Date someone you find completely boring and too feminine and unattractive. How many ugly guys have you come across who have qualities that… In the body of a professional athlete/ rapper/ model/ actor.. Would make the perfect partner?

      1. ^it has to be out there.
        i’m optimistic.

        after being turned off from all these liars out here in the body i actually like…
        maybe he may not be cute in the face but have the body of a GOD.
        he HAS to have some kind of income.
        i don’t “do” broke…. no matter how cute or ugly you are.
        i just won’t do all the boys all the whores are chasing after.

  10. MrSOMagical :
    You know what i find so complex about this whole personality ordeal in our community Random? Majority of us spend so much time investing in hiding who we really are or what we really want just to be accepted into a relationship or fit into a society that will dog us out regardless, that we often unconsciously erase ourselves (our worth, our personality) to make room for all these pretenses and by the time we realize it was better just being “me”…it’s almost impossible to get back to being “you”. It’s a mind thing really.

    Absolutely!

  11. The Man :
    Jay you really sound like you are hurting on the inside.

    Absolutely. I just want to hug him.

    Jay, do you feel sex is all you have to offer? Or do you feel that is all men are interested in from you?

    1. Yes. Most of my self- worth is based on how I look. I removed the parts of my personality I thought were unattractive to others. I’ve always done that. I seek the approval of all kinds of men through sex and that fact has led me to dark places I’d never thought I’d go. I crave the attention 10 times more than the sex.

      Now I don’t fuck around as much anymore. I just like to see how far I can lead them on until they actually want me to show and prove.

      I’m just being 100% honest. I know I’m not the only one either.

      1. Shame to all the niggas who are in this lifestyle for the sex, you should all be punished, yeah I said it. I said that because of the way Jay is feeling about himself. Everybody is worth more than sex, and they shouldn’t have to change themselves becuase they feel that’s all people want these days.

        Jay if someone doesn’t approve of you, tell them to fuck off. Don’t change yourself for NOBODY.

  12. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^maybe…
    we need to stop appealing to IDIOTS and meet a different kind of Wolf?
    he can look good and just have a different mentality.
    let’s be real….
    those who think like this are the ones online and in the clubs.
    trust me when i say i have been around different kinds of gays these days,
    popular gays (even straight folks) who are trying to be rappers and singers,
    and they are all BROKE and BASIC.
    Up in the club with no priorities and fucking and sucking each other with no kind of point.
    Sleeping on couches and no place to really live.
    Lying, cheating, and stealing to be popular with no focus.
    so maybe we need to stop giving attention to the popular wolves and hyrbids that live by this standard….
    just a thought.

    I definitely agree.

  13. btw,
    i have met some athletes and industry people who are not out there and hate attention…
    they don’t have a fb or a twitter…
    ….and look fucking delicious.
    so it can be done.

  14. Sure, the possibility of him is real… But the probability of finding him is where it gets tricky. It’s important to be optimistic. It’s also important to assess what has been the consistent themes amongst the wolves you have come across thus far? How many of the ones you were attracted to had all the qualities you were looking for? How many showed in their actions that they really wanted to find out in you two are compatible and is interested in pursuing a relationship? How many of then had nO desire to be in a relationship at all?

    I believe in paying attention to what guys in my life have been like and realizing if what I am attracted to and allowing into my life… Is actually leading me to what I’m ultimately after.

    1. ^i can point the finger at them,
      but ultimately i was looking at them through the glasses of sex.
      like my whole image was i’m trying to fuck.
      and you can’t expect a Wolf to take you serious,
      when you are putting “just fuck” out there.
      and that was where i fucked up.
      i will always be sexual,
      but i wasn’t muting those colors when it came to Wolves I liked.

  15. So I go watch a movie and there is like 35 comments? lol…I always love to see Vain commenting…”she” (in true Vain fashion) brings it lol…I admire his way of thinking, analyzing and dissecting issues that most avoid at all costs. I can certainly relate to the whole “actions speaker louder than words” part because I’ve experienced this with a few guys.

  16. Realizing I’m sorta new to this gay thing, I must say this entry spoke VOLUMES for me! I wasn’t aware that beings are so transparent on this site, geez. Love the breakthroughs and genuineness that exudes on here Jamari!

    I’ve engaged in a couple short relationships and guessing I’m considered a “Fox”…. I’ve never been one to have sex freely. With it being almost 2 years of no intercourse, it gets difficult when meeting a man who asks, “top/bottom” or “when are you tryna fuck?” Neither and never. I can agree with Vain on the stigma of gay men and physical attributes. It’s annoying.

    Frankly, I just want to date someone relaxed and stable, simply put and I can’t even find that.

  17. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^maybe…
    we need to stop appealing to IDIOTS and meet a different kind of Wolf?
    he can look good and just have a different mentality.
    let’s be real….
    those who think like this are the ones online and in the clubs.
    trust me when i say i have been around different kinds of gays these days,
    popular gays (even straight folks) who are trying to be rappers and singers,
    and they are all BROKE and BASIC.
    Up in the club with no priorities and fucking and sucking each other with no kind of point.
    Sleeping on couches and no place to really live.
    Lying, cheating, and stealing to be popular with no focus.
    so maybe we need to stop giving attention to the popular wolves and hyrbids that live by this standard….
    just a thought.

    In one form or another, some of us wolves have been saying this. The reason wolves are #winning is that foxes (and vixens, or hybrids) capitulate to our terms. You don’t make us work for it. Dudes don’t even have to take you out to get head or ass, so why would they put the effort in? Yes, there are wolves who don’t play the game, but they’re not likely on A4A, BGC, or the str8 equivalent. If you come at me w/sex, that’s how Imma treat you. If you have a standard – commit to it. Yes, you’ll see tricks getting dick, but that’s not your goal.

    And yes it’ll feel lonely, but you’re not the only one looking for something better. And like Vain said, if all you’re looking at are pretty wrappings, don’t be surprised when there’s nothing in the box. If a man wants to know you, he’ll make the effort. Oh, and don’t play games – we hate that ish just as much as you do. Oh, and make an effort to go out & meet people – it’s not gonna happen if you stay in your house a-wishin & a-prayin

  18. Jay,

    Like everyone else has said – you’re definitely worth more than some D&A. Just based off your writings here (and on your blog), I see a very smart person who’s shut down the best parts of him. I can tell you from experience that seeking approval using sex leads to a black hole of sadness & pity. It’s definitely not worth it. I just wanna hug you too, and if you wanna ‘talk’ (or email lol) – I’ll listen. 🙂

  19. I guess my whole thing is from my experience, for the most part, if you’re not talkin’ sex… They are not trying to talk to you. Yes, there are some who are not about that but how often are these the type of guy you are interested in being physical with? Have standards is great and having a ‘no sex before monogamy’ approach is ideal but in doing so, at least with this demographic, you will be met with a lot of guys who will subsequently not be interested in you. You’ll have to learn to be fine with this and not get discouraged. We can play like if you’re a wonderful person that wolves you are interested in will see that and wanna tie you down but that.. Just… Is not the case. A lot of them are very sex focused. A lot of them want the fringe benefits of a relationship without the committment. A lot of them will run away from you the moment you give any indication that you want something serious out of them. To ask why foxes feel the need to be so sexual and use it as a means of keeping wolves around, we’d first have to understand what wolves are like. How many wolves have massive amounts of casual sexual partners (some who they keep as regulars) compared to the amount of foxes they’ve had relationships with or are interested in getting to know? And then guess which side you are likely to fall in.

  20. How was everyone’s relationship with their father, brothers, or the men in the immediate families?

    It seems like most of yall struggling with men do not know how to relate emotionally (safely) with a man and in my experience this stems from a lack of connection with the men in your life growing up so you do not have a working frame of reference to go to when you want make a connection with those worthy of your time.

      1. Explain…because my best friend didnt grow up with a father figure and his current relationship is going strong on 2 years and he always held good relationships with men.

      2. Be honest as possible and keep the bullshit to a minimum. Not so much with whatever a wolf is going to say or do but mostly what your expectations, hopes, or dreams about what a wolf is going to say or do. In the end, a wolf is just a man—not a savior, not a fixer upper, not a prize or a goal. I don’t put dick on a pedestal or go into relationship thinking a man is going to complete me, validate me, or make my life ten times better than it already is; that is giving some dude way too much power over your sanity and too much control over your life because all things are your responsibility.

        The bullshit comes in when the intention isn’t clear. Foxes say they want wolves, but really they want attention, validation, approval, or esteem and they think all those things will come with some wolf, somewhere out there, that’s waiting for them.

      3. Pushing aside all of your usual rhetoric about pedestals and what you dont do… From your experience, To connect emotionally with a gay man involves being honest about your hopes, dreams, and expectations as well as making your intentions clear. Is that right?

  21. I had a good father, but we just couldn’t relate to each other at all so there’s always this awkward silence unless he’s lecturing me on something I should do.

    The only way I know how to relate to any man is to change. That’s just what I’ve always done.

  22. I think a lot of wolves (not the ones on here) who want a great personality really just want a really fine dude who doesn’t have the shitty personality that you often get with really fine dudes. I happen to think I have an awesome personality: I’m intelligent, down-to-earth, easy-going, creative and a great listener. I’m all about bettering myself and building a successful career. Yet, I would say 90% of the wolves I’ve dated were mainly interested in having sex with me. This is compounded by the fact I’m “cute” with a “phat ass” so guys I date usually fixate on that. Few showed genuine interest in me as a person. Attempts to make convo or get to know someone are usually met with the short responses or no reply at all until the dude is horny at 2 am on some random night. After being constantly reduced to a piece of meat and having wolves’ interest in you revolve around your looks, I can see how someone would start to emphasize all things sexual.

    Similar to Jay, my self-esteem hinges on how good I think I look at the moment. If I’m on a date, and dude is complimenting my looks, then I feel hella good, but that artificial high usually fades when I realize that they don’t really have any interest in me as a person. After a lot of thinking, I’ve realized many guys just don’t have the capability or the willingness to be emotionally involved with another human being. It’s sex, sex and more sex. I think the tricky part for us deeper wolves, foxes and hybrids is figuring out where we fit into all of that.

    1. moody605 :
      I think a lot of wolves (not the ones on here) who want a great personality really just want a really fine dude who doesn’t have the shitty personality that you often get with really fine dudes. I happen to think I have an awesome personality: I’m intelligent, down-to-earth, easy-going, creative and a great listener. I’m all about bettering myself and building a successful career. Yet, I would say 90% of the wolves I’ve dated were mainly interested in having sex with me. This is compounded by the fact I’m “cute” with a “phat ass” so guys I date usually fixate on that. Few showed genuine interest in me as a person. Attempts to make convo or get to know someone are usually met with the short responses or no reply at all until the dude is horny at 2 am on some random night. After being constantly reduced to a piece of meat and having wolves’ interest in you revolve around your looks, I can see how someone would start to emphasize all things sexual.
      Similar to Jay, my self-esteem hinges on how good I think I look at the moment. If I’m on a date, and dude is complimenting my looks, then I feel hella good, but that artificial high usually fades when I realize that they don’t really have any interest in me as a person. After a lot of thinking, I’ve realized many guys just don’t have the capability or the willingness to be emotionally involved with another human being. It’s sex, sex and more sex. I think the tricky part for us deeper wolves, foxes and hybrids is figuring out where we fit into all of that.

      ^^This is what I’ve been sayin’ the whole time!!!! lol

  23. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^so we all just kill ourselves now and hopefully be reincarnated with vaginas?
    Because sadly,
    It’s no walk in the park for Vixens either,
    who think it is easier for us.

    I personally feel as though the fysh have a much greater chance of finding what they’re looking for than we do. First, because they have 10 times more to choose from. Second, because the demographic they are involved with comes with a lot less baggage. Its in no way easy, but they’re level of difficulty is at a 6 out of 10 while we’re at an 11. From my experience with fysh, many of them have poor dating habits and place value in the wrong areas and can’t recognize a good man if he called her everyday at the same time and showed her how much he’d like to be with her. They ignore red flags and hope that this unavailable man will change for them. By simply rearranging their values and focus, many of them soon get to understand how it works and are likely to end up with someone they want to be with.

    How many times have you come across fysh who are completely uninterested in a guy (who’s showing her the type of attention and consistency that are healthy AND IS ATTRACTIVE) that you would be more than happy to take off her hands? Can they say or have they said the same about any of the guys you’ve interacted with?

    1. “From my experience with fysh, many of them have poor dating habits and place value in the wrong areas and can’t recognize a good man if he called her everyday at the same time and showed her how much he’d like to be with her. They ignore red flags and hope that this unavailable man will change for them.”

      We’re all in that glass house. The solutions aren’t clear cut though.

    2. Do you think this is why so many Foxes are feminine? Because they somehow examine the interactions of Vixens and Straight Wolfs and long for that in their lives versus that of the [absent] Wolf in our world? Makes sense if you ask me.

      1. I think it plays a big role. Many fem. dudes were raised by women. They are around women so much that they start to act like women, but they don’t realize it.

      2. I dont get with the idea that gay men tend to more feminine because there wasnr a father present. One, because there is often an uncle, mom.s boyfriend, older cousin, etc who is present. And two because there are the same amount of masculine heterosexual men who grew up in the same fatherless households. Not to mention the feminine gays who grew up in a two parent household as well.

    3. ^you cannot say that.
      check it…

      one of my best Vixens friends is single and looking.
      We are the SAME person… just she has a pussy.
      She is beautiful, educated, college grad, semi bougie, and popular as hell.

      Wolves are attracted to her looks,
      and when she fucks em,
      they hit it and quit it.
      When she shows she has a personality and is smart,
      they are not interested.
      Gay and D/L men are always hitting on her.
      The ones she is interested in are either broke OR intimidated.

      so you cannot say that Vain.
      She can meet guys and has dated a vast amount…
      and like you and me and EVERY OTHER FOX or HYBRID in this comment box,
      it is the same story,

      1. Shes one example. There are plenty of others who have different, usually more positive experiences. I hope she doesn’t sleep with them thinking theyre going to take her seriously afterwards? Im sure if we assessed what her criteria is for a suitable mate and delved into her dating habits we could find the solution to her issues. She, as a fysh, has plenty more opportunities afforded to her than we do and doesnt have to deal with scores of men who seek to remain anonymous, fly under the radar, dont approach in public, deny their sexuality, believe two men cant work in a relationship or can get married, etc…

      2. And I know plenty of single women who are looking for a good man but having problems because chicks are tricking for Happy Meals & therefore dudes don’t feel the need to even try anymore. That’s why I said when it comes to sex, wolves are winning.

        So they feel the eligible pool is just as shallow as you guys…

  24. Suicide is a betrayal of the self lol…but seriously, I don’t think it’s hopeless. I just think there are certain things that go on that make it difficult for quality guys to meet quality guys….With regards to vixens, you think so? I always assumed that vixens had it waaaaaay easier lol. I’ve had straight male friends tell me that a vixen who has a good personality, is not overweight and is reasonably attractive will never want for men.

  25. I think the most irritating situation is hooking up with a dude who would be ideal to get to know…on paper.

    I remember this one dude who basically shitted on his pics in person. I mean he could’ve easily been featured on Wolf Meat. Had a great career, very well spoken, charming. He was upfront about the fact he was about nothing but the sex and I respected that. Afterwards, I could see why…he fucked like a pornstar.

    There’s glimmers of hope though. Just a few days ago this gorgeous dude came to a register and asked if I could ring him up, which was weird because several other people were there already on registers. So he’s acting all nervous and I see he’s trying to discreetly hand me the designer jock strap he’s buying and he didn’t look like the athletic type. LMAO! So I give him his change and he touches my hand for a second too long, takes his change, and smiles before he walks out of the door. I guess in retrospect I should’ve clubbed him in the head and dragged him back. I was feeling myself that day though.

    1. See there is hope for you. Why didn’t you talk to ol dude? He was obviously feeling you? You never know what could have happened.

      1. I have this habit of checking for my wallet whenever someone is being too nice or trying to flirt with me. Lol!

        For real though, I just don’t have this inflated view of myself.

  26. JAY :
    I have this habit of checking for my wallet whenever someone is being too nice or trying to flirt with me. Lol!
    For real though, I just don’t have this inflated view of myself.

    Well, you need to start having a more inflated view of yourself. You’re worth some much more.

  27. WOW, i think this is the first post that made me actually start to cry. Vain brother its scary how much we think alike! smh

  28. MrSOMagical :
    Explain…because my best friend didnt grow up with a father figure and his current relationship is going strong on 2 years and he always held good relationships with men.

    I did say most struggling, not all, my larger point is that men and women without relationships with their fathers oftentimes feel inadequate and unworthy which replays over and over in their intimate relationships and especially in their dealings with men. Some people regardless of their parents, or in spite of parents, insist on having decent relationships, period, but for others I find that this is the sore spot—they feel like if their own father didn’t want/love/care about them, how could anybody else?

  29. UrSoVain :
    Pushing aside all of your usual rhetoric about pedestals and what you dont do… From your experience, To connect emotionally with a gay man involves being honest about your hopes, dreams, and expectations as well as making your intentions clear. Is that right?

    To connect emotionally with any man involves being honest about your hopes, dreams, and expectations as wells as having clear intentions with yourself. You are not necessarily expressing any of this with anyone else; the point is to be totally, brutally, honest with yourself about relationships and what you expect from them. When this doesn’t happen, the same depression and lament keeps popping up. So I say to that:

    Stop getting upset when you refuse to believe a wolf when he reveals himself to you, and they ALWAYS reveal themselves to you if you pay attention.

    Stop falling for potential THAT IS NOT THERE or running into that same emotionally crippled or unavailable man.

    It some point you gotta figure out, it’s you doing this to you. Not the wolf, it’s you because you have continue to bullshit yourself believing him to be something he is never going to be: a man worthy enough of your attention. Some foxes even value, take to heart–emotionally affected by–a wolf’s opinion on their looks, body, or life. This is the bullshit I’m talking about which should be kept to a minimum.

    1. Im more so focused on your first sentace. The rest is pretty much the same advice everyone gives about self worth and emotional availability & it gets tiring hearing it over and over again. So back to making emotional connections. I recognize the importance of finding common interests. But when it comes to brutal honesty, I question just how much one should share and when. I f my hopes

    2. Im more so focused on your first sentace. The rest is pretty much the same advice everyone gives about self worth and emotional availability & it gets tiring hearing it over and over again. So back to making emotional connections. I recognize the importance of finding common interests. But when it comes to brutal honesty, I question just how much one should share and when. If my hopes

    3. Im more so focused on your first sentace. The rest is pretty much the same advice everyone gives about self worth and emotional availability & it gets tiring hearing it over and over again. So back to making emotional connections. I recognize the importance of finding common interests. But when it comes to brutal honesty, I question just how much one should share and when. If my hopes and dreams are to be in a monogamous relationship with a steady income and vacationing at a timeshare palms springs, am I saying this in our initial conversation giving the impression that I would expect him to be along for the ride or do I say this in passing as some ‘oh by the way.’ A lot of times, its easy to push wolves away when you bring in expectation too early. To conect emotionally with a wolf, from the way u explained it, is through sharing your intersts & expectations (early im assuming) and allowing him to decide if he wants to pusure something with you.

  30. Wow, first of all never seen this many comments on a post, amazing the insight this forum has. I had actually started writing about this yesterday and couldnt go thru with it for whatever reason. Me and friend are always discussing topics like this trying to get to some understanding concerning gay men. It is so hard out here finding anybody of any substance that I think subconsciously I have made up in my mind that I am destined to be alone. Someday’s this literally drives me crazy and has me mad depressed.

    I went on a transformation last year as I have documented before and totally changed my body, thinking you have to compete out here and this what gay men look for first is appearance. Well thanks to new muscles, I can take shirtless pics on internet and phone hookup sites and get literally hundreds of hits now. I have went out on a couple of dates. Silly me–I thought hey I can meet a good dude on these sites, who wants to get to know me and not want sex. LOL-It aint happened yet. I have this new body that’s getting more attention than sometimes I’m actually comfortable with, from men and women and you guessed it, I am still alone, more so now than when I was 50lbs heavier, because I refuse to just have a sexual relationship with a dude at this stage in my life. I have been there and done that and it leads to a empty road.

    Its funny now that I have gotten ripped, people just automatically assume that I have someone and when I tell them I dont, they are confused, hell Im confused, honestly I thought the boyz would be knocking down the door now, well now I hear shit like man you are too intimidating, dudes are scared to approach you. WTF, we cant win in this lifestyle. I have started hanging with a few hot vixens and their love lives are just as crazy and one of them actually told me that Im confused and just need the right woman because I act str8 to her, its funny how vixens have a hard time imagining dudes over 6ft tall with muscles into other dudes. I have actually been out with her when dudes who hit her up give me the eye as well. I said all of this too say, We are all fucked……………LOL!!!!!!! Seriously Im gone keep hope alive he is out there.

    1. That’s sad, this proves how hooked people are on physical apperances, and yes please keep hope alive because your man is out there

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