You Will NOT Stick A Crunch Bar Inside Me… EVER.

i’m starting to wonder if i’m going to die celibate?

some random number texted me on christmas night:

“i hope your sexy ass had a merry christmas today”

i have been seriously meaning to change my number.
i didn’t know who this was.
that’s bad, right?
i haven’t been really talking to anyone new.
i’ve been on a dick drought for some time.

“lol who the fuck is this?”

you calling me “sexy” like you know me and shit.

“lol well damn homie”

come to find out it was a wolf i met a couple months ago on jack’d.
he sent me a picture.

 i remembered instantly who it was.
he was a hood wolf i wanted to fuck.
he is BAD.
light skin with waves.
hood tho.
i’m sure he was talking to me from a boost mobile.
spelling often has me confused.
i didn’t care.
i didn’t want him to be my man.
his body is so crazy.
he works out obviously.
i wanted that body on top of me so bad!!!!!!!!
we never met up due to his busy schedule of doing god knows what.
i don’t chase wolves or beg for dick,
so i erased his number and kept it moving.
only but so many “yo are you busy” that i will send.
he decided to feed me cheese last night about how he always wanted to meet.
the excuse?

“u was acting like u didn’t want this dick.”

he rekindled my insane horniness for him.
i said, what the hell?
i havent got any good pipe in a while.
last pipe that came over here was terrible.
i could use a thoro work out with a wolf that i am highly attracted too.
i was about to get up and get ready to prepare this feast called. “my cakes”.
do you know what this mutahfucka said to me?
i’m typing it out as it appears on my phone…

“look i got ta be honest wit u because dese otha n*%$as wouldn’t b.
i have herpes and i am have an outbreak.
i dont want fuck now til it goes away.”

he did that.
written like that too.
felt my hard on deflate.
now i appreciate the honesty,
but wait a minute…

why the hell are you turnin’ me on HEAVY,
tellin me all the things you want to do to me,
how you want to break my back,
but you have herpes and can’t fuck right now?
let’s get on the fact you have herpes.
he claims he got it from dude he met on jack’d.
you should hear me weeping over here.
am i being too judgmental?
i’m so turned OFF.
he went from me seeing my legs in the air…
…to me seeing my legs hitting the pavement!

after him trying to give me a doctors lesson on herpes last night,
i have about 30 unread messages on my phone.

i’ll keep them that way.
the search continues…

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

14 thoughts on “You Will NOT Stick A Crunch Bar Inside Me… EVER.”

  1. Damnnnn lmao! You have to give him props for being honest though.

    I do that “turn you on and flake at the last minute” bit too, lol

  2. That first gif has me itching!!! I’ll also give him props for telling you, but Jamari sometimes God will block danger from you (seen and unseen) but you’ve got to take heed to the signs and take action. STOP MEETING NIGGAS ON JACK’D! Keep your foxhole on lock, buy you a toy, go to church, and pray that God send you someone who won’t hurt you, get tested with your potential beau, and always use protection. This the the formula to not end up with something that you can’t get rid of!!! 🙂

  3. Wtf? Too funny. See, thats why I stopped fucking with jackd, because you meet some of the most jackd up people on there. Jamari, youve just been jackd! LMAO

  4. Oh my…he wanted you to be on those commercials running thru a field of tulips lol. I have to respect his honesty tho, because he was right that some people will not tell you. Shit like this is why I have become best friends with my hands! It is so scary out here with these std’s and sti’s.

  5. Thank god he was honest but I can’t do the herpes dance. It’s refreshing that he is honest because he could have kept that himself. I know a lot of dudes here in ATL who got all kinds of diseases and will still try to raw dawg you….

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