What Did My Fist In Your Eye Have To Do With It?


Well… not THAT kind of abuse in that animation.
This kind of abuse stems from being in something that you are too scared to come out of.
You are scared to do anything wrong because you know the outcome.
You are always on alert because you don’t know when you have to duck or cover your face.


You will either get talked down to OR beat the hell up.
That feeling of being useless and hopeless.
You want to run away, but you can’t because you are so used to that “feeling”.

It doesn’t always come as a slap or a punch.
You do not always have to be on the way to the hospital with a black eye or broken ribs.
Many of us suffer from abuse that we do to ourselves.
The way we speak to ourselves can be just as bad as any domestic violence police report.

Are addicted to your own abuse?

Do you know that you don’t need another person to abuse you?
I guess that is where “You can do bad all by yourself” started from.
We have been mentally slapping and punching the hell out of our self-esteem for a while now.
We play the victims entirely too much:

I will be alone *slap*.
That Wolf/Fox likes me… I think. So I will decipher signs and stress myself out *punch*.
I can’t look fresh to def like the others. *karate chop*
I think I am ugly. *choke*
My body isn’t as good as my competition. *body slam*


Have you noticed when things are going well, you start to look for something wrong?
You never want to just go with the flow and enjoy your peace?
It has to be always something…

But secretly, like I said, we like that feeling.
We will run our poor minds ragged and then after we have over-analyzed and over-done it,
we suddenly feel better until next time.
A lot of my poor Foxes out there run to a Wolf who will also do the same.
So you then have a tag team of bullshit that you associate with “love” and that “feeling”.

It got me to thinking about the domestic violence we inflict on our self-worth…
Are some of us just use to beating ourselves up since that is all we know?
And, will be ever find a happy place, move there, and never look back?


We all have insecurities and trust me, I know it hurts.
I have been there.
I think I put my self-esteem in ICU one time during 2001-08.
It can make your life more harder than it is.
So, I stated to wonder…

Haven’t you had ENOUGH?

If you or anyone you know is in a domestic abuse situation,
Call my wonderful friends at: 1 (800) 799 SAFE (7233)

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “What Did My Fist In Your Eye Have To Do With It?”

  1. Amen Preach Bro! Im tired of being in an abuse situation with myself, leaving all this shit in 2011, I started breaking out of the fog this year and its only gonna get better next year. The hardest thing I have ever had to do is get past some of the past verbal and emotional abuse from boys I dealt with. Aint never had to worry about no physical cause I wish a nigga would at 6’1 220 I need my ass wooped for letting a dude lay hands, but the other forms of abuse are just as painful and powerful. Heres to being number 1 and loving your beautiful self and leaving the past right where it belongs. Just as you can be your own worst enemy, you can flip it and be your own best friend. Hats off to this life changing forum.

  2. Wow I’m extremely surprised no one wanted to comment on this posting or maybe I haven’t refreshed the page. But yeah this is something I do when I missed a barber appointment. I begin to sorta down myself. But I’m not a fighter so all I ever need is a band-aid and neosporin.

    I believe it steams from my period of low self esteem and even though I tell myself something inspirational I find that my addiction to being always being picture perfect is my biggest enemy.

    1. I know! We need to get over these largely unrealistic ideals because everyone is special and beautiful. You just need to strive to be the perfect version of You x x

  3. This is such an amazing post Jamari. Ive had a really rough week and going by ur post myself and I have been involved in some serious domestic violence issues.
    On Monday this guy I been sorta seeing and have had sex with once just outta the blue tells me that I’m not his type. He prefers darker skinned more muscular bottoms. I really liked him (I let the fucker shag me for crissakes) so you know the whole week I felt down. I pretty much felt ugly and unattractive just cos one guy said I’m not his type. Now as I type this it feels pretty trivial and almost silly but the feelings of rejection are real and we all need encouragement and strength to pick it up and keep moving!
    Thank you for this post.
    Keep ur head up guys cos like our brethren over at l’oreal say,’Youre worth it’ x x

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