The Power of the Fox Who Doesn’t Know His Power

People are attracted to power.

Am I the only one who gets turned on by a powerful man?
The way he moves.
His confidence.
The way he dresses.
The way he commands attention.
But what happens when it is a Fox in a powerful position?
How does one for direct all his power to the great Fox of them all?
And with that power do you become more intimidating
One thing us Foxes never try to do is be the one to conquer all, especially when it comes to Wolves.
We are always underneath scraping the barrel for that power.

So my question is this…

Would you want more power in your life?

Last night, I was invited to an industry event by my photographer Wolf (straight).
It was for a female singer who was releasing her sophomore album.
I didn’t want to go initially because it was pouring, but it seemed like a great networking opportunity.
Now that I am pursuing my career HEAVY, I need to be everywhere and make a presence.
When I got there, it felt great to have my name on RSVP.
I heard all the “who is he?” and “how he get inside?” as I slipped in the door.
As I entered the spot, I saw the finest of the finest Wolves I have ever seen!
All my type and all dressed in their best, even though it was raining.
It was one big orgy of artists, hanger-oners, groupies, and of course, nobodies filled the room.

(Why is it that at half these industry events, it seems to be a sausage fest?
There was more Wolves than Vixens…)

As I mingled, the same Vixen who tried to hook me up with the Dusty Wolf, was there.
We hugged and talked and she introduced me to a few of her people within the business.
I hung with her for a little and then hung with the photographer who invited me.
I felt a sense of power come over me because I could help anyone in this room.


I certainly could help THEM and not vice versa.

But I noticed the Wolves I wanted to talk to, I didn’t know to approach them.
They were cute, but I wanted to find out what they did in the industry.
I am better at being introduced than walking up to some complete stranger and striking conversation.
(I need help with that ASAP.)

When I got home, the Vixen called me to make sure I was home safe.

“yo all my people liked you. they wanted your contact info.” – she said
“cool cool! yeah! give them!” – i replied
“but i noticed so many dudes were checking you out in there.”
“where they?”
“yeah, dudes were walking past you and was all in ya shit.”
“really? i didnt even notice…”
“you didnt see that?!?!”
“naw i was trying to figure out who to talk too…”
“that is your issue too… you think to much dude…”

and this is the statement that got me…

“if you know how good you looked, you would be powerful.
plus you have mad charisma too.
it’s like you have a light inside that you aint turning on.
You aren’t too sure of yourself and it is fucking you up.”

… and she was right.
I don’t know HOW to do it.
That is my issue.
I guess I second guess myself when it comes to Wolves when I should be going HAM.
When I was in that room and I looked at Wolves who I thought were fine, they looked off.
There was also a Wolf who I always saw catching looks at me.
He was with a Vixen so I wrote it off as “straights”.
That is until he walked past me and was all up in my face.

But you not saying nothing tho pa??????? whats goood????????

It always happens, which can mind fuck you into thinking you are hideous or something is wrong with you.
It isn’t a good power booster to actively go and take down Wolves you are attracted to.

And it hurts when people say that (Cousin Hybrid and Star Fox have said it) because I feel I am doing something wrong.

It got me to thinking about how powerful people operate.
They know their worth and they don’t settle for less.
They go for theirs and that is what makes them so attractive.
But, realistically how do you know much power you have in your hands?
Is is when you have triple 0’s in your back account?
Or, is it when you have Wolves whimpering for your attention?

The power Wolves have over Foxes is the same power I dream of.
And secretly, every Fox wants that.
They want to be in control and be wanted by Wolves they want.

Bills paid.
Rent paid.
Got cho own shit.
Don’t need no one for shit.
But Foxes…

But do you have the “power” of going after the penis?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

33 thoughts on “The Power of the Fox Who Doesn’t Know His Power”

  1. I have the same problem.
    I’m told I’m attractive and that I actually command a lot of attention, but I never notice it.
    Perfect example, went out with some friends yesterday. Had been a long day, but we don’t hang out much, so we decided to make it boys’ night. Sometime during the night, I got up to excuse myself to the restroom. When I got back, three of the friends leaned over to me and told me, “You know all of them were checking you out as you walked through, right?”

    …I hadn’t noticed in the least.

    I told them I had no idea and that I usually don’t. That’s when one of my friends informed me, “You get looked at a lot more than you realize. I don’t know what it is, but you never notice it. With your body being the way it is, I know you get stared at. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

    Of course I never notice it.
    It’s most definitely a confidence thing. I don’t know how to be the aggressor when talking to someone unless it pertains to business. Usually in social settings, I have the same problem that you have (attractive wolves looking at me, but turning away when I look at them). It’s frustrating.

    1. ^THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LJKWNHDKLAWNDQWIODQWLKDN KLCNWOQDFNCQWKLD BHIQW3IOL/F WECVNQWE’;0IDFHQW/KLNCD wipcdnh

      UGHHHH.
      It pisses me off.

      SOMEONE NEEDS TO EXPLAIN THIS NOW!!!!!!
      I NEED ANSWERS!!!!

  2. It is the same fucking story.
    so many people telling me how handsome i am,
    how i have a nice body,
    this, that, and the third…

    YET I don’t seem to believe it or something.
    In business, I can get what I want.
    But when it comes to Wolves, it is like I shut down and not think I am worth it.
    When they probably thinking, “damn he is sexy.”

  3. #whoisjamarifox :
    It is the same fucking story.
    so many people telling me how handsome i am,
    how i have a nice body,
    this, that, and the third…
    YET I don’t seem to believe it or something.
    In business, I can get what I want.
    But when it comes to Wolves, it is like I shut down and not think I am worth it.
    When they probably thinking, “damn he is sexy.”

    I definitely shut down.
    The problem isn’t even so much being rejected. I can deal with that on some level.
    It’s the guessing game of knowing who is and isn’t playing for “our” team that bothers me. I don’t want to approach someone and offend them or be offended myself. I’m a masculine hybrid, so that makes it even more difficult. “Discreet” wolves for whatever reason are more prone to dealing with more feminine foxes and hybrids (usually the ones who are over-the-top with their sexuality). I’m not that. I’ve never been that. So, being masculine gives them the impression that you’re not even into the same thing they are.

  4. I have the power to go after the wolf I want, I like meeting new people and if I’m dressed and look the part. I actually did it yesterday at work; I was talking to him for a while, he was mad cute. It started when I saw his Chase Sapphire Card, and his BB and iPhone. I told him I can tell what he does for a living and what his position is. He was impressed and asked had we met. I told him no and that he’d be back because he liked my impression on him and then maybe we could talk some more. I then let my boss know he was in the conference room and went about my day. While leaving he asked my name I handed him my business card, smiled and said see you next time.

    But Jamari it’s a cohencidence, because my friend went to that same event yesterday. I was just talking to him about it and he was telling me about it and etc. I applaud you for sticking with you plan to be more social and network.

  5. Interesting… Idk how I feel about this, because I command attention! And it’s just my personality, I’m an extrovert, I’m always pleasant, I’m
    Super friendly, and I have funny stories galore cuz craziness tends to single me out!! However a straight wolf friend of mine told me, “if I didn’t know you, I would just assume you was a slut!”. He was like cuz you smile with all the dudes, and everybody knows you, and you get so much attention.., I say that to say that it’s a catch 22, I wish I was a little more subdued and mysterious, because I think that’s where the power is!

    1. ^I’m the “subdubed and mysterious” one.
      It always causes people to want to know me.
      And when people do know me, they love being around me.
      I have so much respect at my job and even within this brief pursuit of my career…

      I think what throws me off is the “looking off”.
      I swear, when I am around Wolves I feel like I am invisible!

      1. Yes and dont build up the nerve to say a greeting cause you know they were looking, theyre going to act like they dont know how to speak lol I just seen you eye fucking me then when I come over to speak cat got your tongue? GTFOH

  6. I guess my question to you guys is: Do you really believe your sexy/attractive or do you just tell yourself that in hopes that you actually believe it somehow?

  7. Nerd :
    I guess my question to you guys is: Do you really believe your sexy/attractive or do you just tell yourself that in hopes that you actually believe it somehow?

    That’s a real question.
    I’d say a little bit of both. We all have insecurities and while I wouldn’t say they dominate how I see myself, I’d say they play a part (the ironic thing is typically what I don’t like, others love). That said, I’ve always just been a naturally humble and modest person. I’m oblivious to most things when it comes to attraction. I don’t usually notice when someone’s flirting with me. Usually, someone has to tell me.

  8. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^I’m the “subdubed and mysterious” one.
    It always causes people to want to know me.
    And when people do know me, they love being around me.
    I have so much respect at my job and even within this brief pursuit of my career…
    I think what throws me off is the “looking off”.
    I swear, when I am around Wolves I feel like I am invisible!

    The first three sentences are me in a nutshell.

  9. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^is this why the queens are winning?!?!?!?!?!?!
    If so,
    I’m turning into a monk tomorrow.

    I find that queens are more aggressive. They’re more open with their sexuality and way more likely to exploit themselves sexually to get the attention they want.

  10. So true. We all crave and have power but at times we get weak. It’s all about how well you are able to regenerate that power and confidence that puts you in first class.

  11. Ronnie :
    Yes and dont build up the nerve to say a greeting cause you know they were looking, theyre going to act like they dont know how to speak lol I just seen you eye fucking me then when I come over to speak cat got your tongue? GTFOH

    I.HATE.THIS.
    You gonna sit here and watch me eat my food for an entire hour, but then act like you can’t speak when I say hey? C’monson.

  12. I wish I had the answer. I’m naturally introverted, so I’m not gonna necessarily approach someone (yeah, i’m a wolf – so?). I may look in your direction or something, but unless it’s an event where I have a reason to talk to you, I probably won’t…and this is my personality period – even in parties, I’m the “wallflower.”

    Now when I get to know you, I’m joking & laughing & a whole ‘nother person, but that level or trust & comfort has to be built first. I guess that’s what a wingman is for lol

  13. im having the same problem you know, everybody say that the way i walk ,talk,and interact with people, people tend to think that im a cocky guy! even a girl once told me that she would get with me if it wasn’t for my way that i act , and that i act sometimes like “im sexy and i know it” and that at some point bother her and im like what? im a very social guy and i like to be around people you know? so i can feel that “hey” im here also, im not going to lie i like attention i just cant cope being in a place where no body gives me attention, am a very handsome guy…my body is well build and i got some nice ass, there’s a guy at school, every time that i walk pass him he stare at me and than when i look back he look off..or walk with his face down as if he was busy with his phone ,and im like is he ON THE DL OR WHAT? SPEAK UP, and he do that every time and the thing is that he pops out every time on my Facebook wall as “people you may know” and im like should i go forward and add him?, but at the same moment im like “no i don’t wanna be a boy chaser, cuz im tyre of being it…. and there’s a lot of guys at school that keep staring at me and im like..!woou! do i look gay? or do i have something ? is something wrong with me?and there is when we lose power and than i look off I used to do it.. when i walk down the streets i see guys staring at me like “daamm whos that nigga” , sometimes i wish that i could have a devise that can tell me “whos Gay Bi or on the DL.. cuz i cant take it any more.. and” btw the school guy is fucking hot nice ass and all ” see yall and jamari thx for this post ” i really like that way u bring them forward ” sorry for my english im from brazil lol

  14. YngBlkWolf :
    I wish I had the answer. I’m naturally introverted, so I’m not gonna necessarily approach someone (yeah, i’m a wolf – so?). I may look in your direction or something, but unless it’s an event where I have a reason to talk to you, I probably won’t…and this is my personality period – even in parties, I’m the “wallflower.”
    Now when I get to know you, I’m joking & laughing & a whole ‘nother person, but that level or trust & comfort has to be built first. I guess that’s what a wingman is for lol

    Do you think it’s wrong that we expect wolves to speak first?

    1. Hell dont expect these wolves to speak first cause they most likely not but if I speak first and cant get no response out of you after you just got me prenant with your eyes, thats where my problem is. Dont set your eyes to even look at my shoes if you cant talk when I speak to you!!!

    2. Well, since we’re not women – I wouldn’t necessarily expect (or demand) a wolf speak first. Some people are shy socially, but in other ways they’re dominant. I think anyone gives off signs when they’re interested, though.

      Now if you DO speak, and they’re still acting like Marty the Mute Mime? Don’t be bothered. Even if I’m not interested, I’ll return a greeting if you said something to me.

  15. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LJKWNHDKLAWNDQWIODQWLKDN KLCNWOQDFNCQWKLD BHIQW3IOL/F WECVNQWE’;0IDFHQW/KLNCD wipcdnh
    UGHHHH.
    It pisses me off.
    SOMEONE NEEDS TO EXPLAIN THIS NOW!!!!!!
    I NEED ANSWERS!!!!

    Have you sexy mufuggas ever considered that maybe your good looks and persona come off as intimidating to others??

    I’ve had the same issue and at one point, I would question my beauty like..WTF is the problem here?! But finally guys started telling me…I for some reason come off as intimidating to them..like I’m not the one to be fucked with..not in a bad way..but in a way where..I’m have a strong presence and you can see my demand for respect..so that made me feel better!! At the same time, you’ll get those who will try to just approach you as though you were a challenge that they had to break down (currently had to let a mufugga know..I ain’t no damn challenge..don’t try to “get to know me,” only because I broke your boy down and he told you)…so take it as a compliment my luvs…you don’t want those who are not confident in themselves, to approach you when they may not have their shit together or just plain ol’e be with the BullShit.

    1. ^Bambi….

      You have been speaking some serious knowledge in here.
      It is a shame a Vixen had to come in here and tell us the real deal.
      But, you have more experience with Wolves so I’m sure this is why you are more knowledgeable on this issue.

      I know 1 thing: I’m listening.

  16. Yea that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’m a wolf and I go through the same thing. I walk around this campus and I feel invisible to other dudes around me. SMH. I’m with everyone else, I don’t like it when I look at them and they look away, it’s frustrating.

  17. YngBlkWolf :
    Well, since we’re not women – I wouldn’t necessarily expect (or demand) a wolf speak first. Some people are shy socially, but in other ways they’re dominant. I think anyone gives off signs when they’re interested, though.
    Now if you DO speak, and they’re still acting like Marty the Mute Mime? Don’t be bothered. Even if I’m not interested, I’ll return a greeting if you said something to me.

    Even being a female, dudes still won’t speak first all the time. This goes back to the whole Rejection post…()..everyone has a fear of rejection here and there. A dude won’t approach a female if she’s beautiful and within a crowd. He may approach her first if she’s by herself..but even still..he doesn’t want to take that chance of approaching, only to be let down. Some people don’t know how to approach and some are masters at it.

    You have to first read the body language. If someone stares at you..and then smiles..and then continues to look into your direction – they want you to approach them. Not because they’re lazy as fuck, but rather because if YOU approach them, then that clears out the possible bullshit…(in a relationship, not part of the fam, not attracted to them and just smiling out of courtesy)..you approaching, gives them the green light go. Now if you approach them after their constant looks and stares and smiles and they still don’t bite, then unfortunately, they may be with the bullshit so count your blessings!! But nine times out of ten, you should see the many signs.

    Boys, we’re in 2012…fuck who goes first really. I’d approach a man without any hesitation after seeing all of the clues and looking for clues of my own (wedding band). A closed mouth won’t get fed. You approach someone the right way, you’ll get what you want. And when you do approach, you don’t always have to go with the norm..”Where are you from? What’s your name..” be flirty and fun with it. Example: If he’s eating food and there obviously by himself, I’d simply walk up and say “Oh dang, I thought you were inviting me over for lunch but I see you’re not trying to share,” and let nature take its course. More than likely he will smile/laugh at the cute humor and offer even though he knows I don’t want any…You all have said some really good things so I’m sure just stepping outside of the box won’t be hard at all! (sorry for the lengthy reply)

  18. The Man :
    Yea a female told me that before that I was intimidating and from what I’ve seen it’s true.

    Well..do you want someone who’s easily intimidated or would you prefer someone who doesn’t have a problem breaking past the outer layer to discover your inner layer? F’dat The Man..if someone is easily intimidated, then they’re not on your level hun..they’re doing you a favor.

  19. I go through the exact same thing Jamari. My friends call me Oblivious Obie because I never notice when someone’s checkin me out. And when someone tells me just that, I never really fully believe in my looks as a whole. Dudes and girls tell me all the time that I’m good looking but I never know what to do with that info.

    And what’s crazy is I’m in a business where I speak with people and exact my opinion and confidence in the work field. But when it comes to dating or approaching a Wolf, I fall flat or my nerves get the best of me. Never really know how to approach or am petrified by the thought of rejection. I think sometimes maybe if I go out with friends and show how much of a good time I am with friends then maybe I’ll get approached. They’ll think, damn this dude is mad sexy, a good time and got his shit together.

    And unfortunately its lead to me being single for all of my dating life. Mainly because of the area I live in, I’m never really in a place where I meet dudes who like dudes (such as a club or etc.), and I like wolves. But the type of wolf you can’t peg if he likes Foxes or Vixens. But here where I live you KNOW if a dude is gay and its because they have their feminine moments that are a huge turnoff to me.

    I just wish I could exact my power and know that I have it. Instead of everyone ELSE seeing it. lol

  20. I believe that we foxes have a lot of people and we have the ability to have and get whomever we please if we choose to have more confidence in ourselves and stop being scared. I would say I am a aggressive fox, I take and go after what I want, I have weak moments but I lost the fear of losing because either way I still win. I seek and interact with those who want to interact with me. Keep that model and you’ll be good.

  21. YngBlkWolf :
    I wish I had the answer. I’m naturally introverted, so I’m not gonna necessarily approach someone (yeah, i’m a wolf – so?). I may look in your direction or something, but unless it’s an event where I have a reason to talk to you, I probably won’t…and this is my personality period – even in parties, I’m the “wallflower.”
    Now when I get to know you, I’m joking & laughing & a whole ‘nother person, but that level or trust & comfort has to be built first. I guess that’s what a wingman is for lol

    Are we twins? LOL. This is me to the T.

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