maybe…

we are too much.
we aren’t enough.
we say the wrong things.
we shouldn’t have fought back.
we were never the right fit.
we have been the square in the circle.

all of those things can be true.
we are not robots either.
i think what hurts the most is when we can say/font,
without the possibility of a doubt,
that we did nothing wrong in a conflict.
we do live in a climate of:

blind leading the blind off the cliff like some lemmings

…and there are a lot of muthafuckas who KNOW we were in the right,
or that we were the victims,
but the chose to turn the blind eye while we suffered.
we got thrown in the fire because it was easier than accountability.
they watched as our reputations got tarnished and never called the person(s) out.

the people who know their friend,
partner,
or family member is wrong and doesn’t say anything.

they tell us to fight back,
stand our ground,
and don’t take no shit but my question is…

why do those options feel lonelier,
make us outcasts,
and have us painted as villains?

i’m learning that within this season of my life.
for the past year,
it has been showing up differently but unfortunately:

many people are so used to the weaker,
insecure,
and people pleasing versions of myself.

…but now that i’m finally putting me first,
it seems to be a problem for so many.
maybe…
the real reason i’m in all this conflict atm is:

as i’m outgrowing those versions of me,
i’m also outgrowing many people as well.

…and it kinda hurt to admit that but maybe,
my old versions are fighting to stay comfortable and i can’t be anymore.

lowkey: i feel like this has been one of the hardest seasons of my life.
i have gone through some shit but for some reason,
i am being broken completely open.