so as you know,
or didn’t,
but i took a 100 day challenge of shadow work.
every day,
i’d answer 2 questions from various shadow work websites in my journal.
( x this one )
( x this one )
i’m at day 95 and proud of myself that i stuck with it.
what i’ve learned confronting my shadow…

some people love to promote they turn to sex work because its “empowering“.
the reality for many others is:

They heard its a quick way to make money but they get way over their heads and drown by the pressure of their internal conflicts.

OF sex working wolf,
mr exotic,
decided to pour his heart out on twitter.
i refuse to call that x btw.
while all the gays in his comments have their kneepads on with open mouths of comfort,
this is what i observed about the video…

when we look at the beautiful ones,
we often think their lives are perfect than ours.
they have perfect credit scores and their hair has the perfect curl pattern.

Even the beautiful ones have problems.

method man,
who looks amazing for his age in his early 50s,
spoke candidly about his depression…

when i think of a life coach,
i think of someone who is going to help me find a sense of direction.
they understand my needs,
or lack their of,
and try to help me find the right path for my life.
they will be tough but still gentle enough for me to understand.
i’d require someone who has been properly trained and has credentials.
i want to see reviews from past clients as well.
i require a lot when it comes to coaching me for success.

It seems that attentionisto,
Christopher Matthews aka @kingedcam,
is trying to do something different.

a Foxholer sent me a drop that he wants to coach you to take it.
by take it,
i mean life by the horns because he is getting into the life coaching business…

control.
oftentimes,
we have a need and a desire to be in control of other people.
that can create a lot of resentment and a breeding ground for toxic situations.
when we are out of control,
that is when the real “us” comes flying out.

Insecure
Panic
Jealousy
Envy
Letting all kinds of disrespect slide
Being nasty and disrespectful to others

on the low,
my mother had showed me how she was self control in relationships.
she had a big learning lesson with her first husband but she learned quick.
when she entered relationships after that,
and it was revealed that many of them were actually jackals in disguises…

so i’ve learned to heal from many years of abuse,
more-so mental and emotional,
i also learned something as well.
one of the many things ive noticed with abuse is…

Continue reading “you need the abuse to prove they love you” →