there are Foxholers who have stood by my side since the beginning.
many of them have picked up pom poms and cheered when i couldn’t.
they have been with me during the good and the bad.
i started a patreon and they signed up just to show their support.
that means a lot.

I continue to create content for them.
Even if it’s only 20 people,
you give those 20 people a hell of a show.

they have stood by my side since i started this platform.
when people talk about albums that got them through difficult times:

Foxholers have told me that I got them through hard times.

like,
that’s a blessing i have tremendous gratitude for.
this is acceptance of my own power comes in…

Continue reading “you aren’t there because you haven’t accepted here.” →

So let’s go back.
I’m fonting all the way back.
like,
bottles and bibs “back”.

“hey little you.”
when many of us were younger,
we were innocent and had clean slates.
the world was big and bright.
we thought turning 13 meant we were old.
those who were lucky with parents who protected them,
their childhoods were practically flawless.
the rest of us weren’t so lucky.
someone(s) showed us hurt instead of love.
sometimes it was one incident or a few that made us go mute.
that is the day we decided to lock ourselves in a cage…

Continue reading “at least the cage you locked your inner child in is pretty” →

…”feel like God is still with me”.
so #weoutside again.
woohoo!
the parties are lit and the brunches are plentiful.
i’m sure each one of us has been to a concert this year.
many of us waited patiently,
or impatiently,
to get back out there once the pandemic was over.
truthfully,
there are many who haven’t returned to this new normal.
in fact,
it brought us further into a peril where we suffer silently.
one thing we aren’t fontin’ enough about…

Continue reading “living your worst life in the post-pandemic era” →

two things can be true at the same time.
i don’t think many of us realize this,
especially in the black community.
we expect everyone to be as pretty and perfect as what we see on instagram.

you can have a very pretty life and be very sad too.
hell…

There are people who post their pretty pictures but literally waiting to die.

can you handle their truth?
or do you want them to always be pretty?
to entertain you because you are dying inside too?
you don’t come to this foxhole because i post pretty pictures,
pretending to be better than you…

Continue reading “oh hi, i’m back from my psychotic meltdown” →

during my time offline for my birthday,
i decided to watch a movie called “the whale” starring brendan fraser.
in the movie,
he played said whale.
no seriously,
he was pretty large.

the movie touches on truth,
addiction,
and forgiveness.
even with how cruel some of the people were to charlie (brendan fraser),
he still tried to show love and see the positive within their disgust/hatred.
from the start,
middle,
and end,
i was bawling in all kinds of ugly.
ever so often,
a movie comes along during a time i need to watch it.
“the whale” was it for me and i thought to myself…

Am I The Whale too?

Continue reading “I am a whale, swimming in a circle, in an ocean that is too deep.” →

many people have suggested i move to cali.
personally,
i’m not ready for the west coast yet.
i haven’t even visited so i don’t know if i’ll even like it.

Not only that,
I heard black males over there don’t like anything that isn’t exotical black,
white,
or other.

someone i’m familiar with moved to cali from new yawk.
they were complaining about feeling alone since getting out there.
this is what they fonted…

Continue reading “the lonely heart follows you everywhere you go” →