i have been thinking of the dante the body situation since yesterday.
i’ve come to the conclusion that…

fonting of not knowing WTF is happening bts…

we have had many discussions about dante the body over the Foxhole years,
but this is a serious one.
i don’t know the context of what has happened since this following post yesterday,
but it seems that he may have allegedly taken his own life (?????).
this is the IG post a Foxholer JUST sent in…

oof,
lil nas x,
if you are trolling for album sales,
ima need you to hit up that safe word like NOW.

“BANANAS”
“OXYCONTIN”
“HELP”

i saw this pop up from “the neighborhood talk” and:

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double oof BUT this actually could be a good thing,
especially for someone like LNX.
in my head…

what in God’s name is going on with lil nas x?

i feel like he does not know who is he anymore.
somewhere between sliding down stripper poles and lap dancing on satan,
he fell off somewhere.
i was interested in this new era of his but then…

so allegedly,
he was hospitalized for an OD but was caught half naked walking the L.A. streets…

i’ve realized that i’ve spent my entire life performing for family,
“friends”,
jobs,
and of course,
wolves i really liked.
the forest was my stage and everyone was my audience but in reality:

the more i performed; the less i found myself being accepted and respected.

many people didn’t stick around as much effort as i put in.
once they left,
i still found myself performing for their approval.
i wanted people that don’t even matter to still see me in some way.
it caused me to be consumed by the dark arts of the performance,
all the while making me doubt myself in where i stand in my life if i wasn’t “the star”.
as i have been healing many parts of me that are broken…

how do two people grow up in the same orbit,
but end up speaking completely different emotional languages?
i asked cousin hybrid that exact question yesterday.
his answer…