control.
oftentimes,
we have a need and a desire to be in control of other people.
that can create a lot of resentment and a breeding ground for toxic situations.
when we are out of control,
that is when the real “us” comes flying out.

Insecure
Panic
Jealousy
Envy
Letting all kinds of disrespect slide
Being nasty and disrespectful to others

on the low,
my mother had showed me how she was self control in relationships.
she had a big learning lesson with her first husband but she learned quick.
when she entered relationships after that,
and it was revealed that many of them were actually jackals in disguises…

She was up and out.

…and they begged for her to come back when they circled the block.
my mother would be off to the next tho.
i admire her for not sticking around.
she wasn’t perfect but she did show me there is power in leaving and starting over.
because of my trauma,
i only applied this after countless instances of abuse.
i can honestly font that when i’m done tho:

I’m up and out.

…and they’ll never be able to find me again.
i go full ghost on a muthafucka when i’m hurt or betrayed.

There is something really sexy when someone has self control and knows their worth.

when someone knows they “don’t need this shit“,
and don’t need someone else cause of good sex or big money…

It turns the tables and makes others see you differently

for those who learned this lesson late like me,
it’s perfectly fine that others still view you as “the old you“.
that is the images they have of you in their heads because you put it there.
once you start working and re-learning yourself,
exhibit the behaviors that you are under new management,
and that first time that you go OF them and drag them into a new reality…

Listen.

lowkey: sometimes you gotta show up as the anti hero in people lives.
the one who comes to shake the table and let them know you aren’t the one.
you don’t care about their accomplishments,
money,
or good looks.
if they aren’t coming at you with respect then you will disrespect.
let them tell the other forest dwellers you ain’t the one.