how do you think your past are doing? (let’s go stalk them and find out!)

sometimes i think about him.
work wolf.
occasionally,
i remember a lot of folks from my past.
ironically,
the ones who hurt me.
the ones who i didn’t get closure for the failed “whatever”.
there is a side of me that wants to see what they’re doing.
are they doing well?
jobless like me?
rich af and living their best lives?

fat with about 20 cubs?
listen,
i can admit my faults and  extreme pettiness.
can you?
so i did the unfathomable yesterday…

i went stalking on ig

when that didn’t work,
i went over to google.
i know.
we all have this curiosity to see what “the past” is doing.
if not,
congrats because i already admire you.
they might reach out,
and other times,
it’s like you both never met.

do i miss these folks?
i don’t know why because they were cruel to me.
a side of me wanted an update without having to text/call.
social media can allow us to see what:

exes
old co workers
estranged family members
bullies

…are doing without hiding in the bushes outside their cribs.
we’re in the “technological” bushes,
but still…

ironcially,
it doens’t make us feel any better.
let’s say they moved on and are happy af?
they met someone else?
got married?
a full blown work out warrior with the bawdy of a greek God?
hello full blown depression.
the ways we punish ourselves.
sigh.
i didn’t get any answers so that’s a good thing.
i can’t say i won’t do it again,
but for right now,
i’m pretty satisfied not getting the update.

lowkey: sometimes we don’t have to stalk.
we’re still connected to our past because we didn’t unfollow.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

2 thoughts on “how do you think your past are doing? (let’s go stalk them and find out!)

  1. You are definitely not the only one that do this lol. I have looked up a few people who have wronged me in the past few times also.

  2. I’d be lying if I said I never thought about my ex boyfriends but rarely do I ever try to look them up on their social media accounts (even though I totally understand those who may commit a little online stalking of an ex lover). They are in my PAST for a a reason and that’s where they shall remain.

    Here’s another reason to resist looking at your ex lover’s social media. We all know social media is mostly an illusion/fantasy. We can create ANY type of glorified image of ourselves online even if it’s a total fabrication. So why go peeking at your ex? Do you think he’s gonna post about his recent acne breakout or his overdue Direct TV bill? No, he’s gonna post photos with himself in a room fill with pretty people and picturesque locations eating in some restaurants or traveling at some airport. Chyle who got time for dat?

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