past rewind so i press fast forward (or eject the tape completely)

life can be pretty interesting when we make it that way.
i’m learning that when we think and feel differently,
we can create magic within our lives.
i was feeling pretty good.
i have been feeling pretty good these last two weeks tbh.
i said to myself:

“I am wanted.
I am desired.
I am getting apologies from people who hurt me.
I am safe.”

i want to start speaking to myself differently.
i kid you not that shortly after i said that…

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ashanti and nelly make “spin the block” look good

after years of being in no contact,
getting into other relationships,
and 1/2 having new mouths to feed,
it seems like ashanti and nelly are back together in 2023.
^this is them at the gc black ball.


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the gp is split down the middle with opinions.

Some were hoping they’d get back together.
Others think she is crazy, especially with how he treated her.

…but can people change enough for that reconnect?
who we were in our teens,
we aren’t in our 20s,
and who we were in our 30s is not who we are in…
you get the picture.

i’ve been thinking a lot about getting back with those from your past.
this can even be about friendships,
estranged family members,
and returning to jobs we left many moons ago.
we all know that facebook is where the past tends to find us again but…

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what does your “you hurt me but i bounced back better” look like?

in life,
we will have people who have done us wrong.
for many of us,
we worked our asses off to become who we are now.
whether it is a successful career,
a massive glo’up,
or both,
we use that revenge from hurt to fuel us into being better.
i have a question for the foxhole,
and i hope it doesn’t come off ignorant but…

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i move different because i grew up a little different (past life situations)

one of my most favorite celebs i’ve ever met was charity from the show,
deborah joy winans and i talked for close 2 hours.
she is so dope and joy (see what i did there) to speak to.
you would have thought we knew each other for years.
so much so,
we followed each other on my personal social media.
i’m a very warm and friendly person so this is why i took a lot of front desk jobs.
she was one of the many celebs that i met at my last job.
i’ve met kenya moore and she was really friendly to me.
that was 2 years ago and i never posted about it.
even with a platform like mine,
i’ve kept all my celeb encounters super lowkey.
i move differently but i think it all stems from how i grew up tbh.

I haven’t even begun to crack open my past back in Barbados…

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should we have told that dude from our past we wanted the pipe and hope for the best?

he asked me how he looked in his outfit as i sat on the table.
i’ll admit,
he looked good af.
the way his arms and chest looked in his shirt had me on brick.
the way his plump ass hugged his dress pants made me lose my mind slowly.

i don’t know if he was completely straight tho.
no fully straight male lets me touch him the way i do.
it wasn’t sexual,
but it way past the “uh i’m straight” line.
some straights are comfortable around gays,
but there is a limit they will not cross.
he was one of them.
i told him his shirt was sticking out in the back.
he walked over to me,
got between my legs,
and told me to tuck it in.

i was getting really overcome with horniness tbph.
in a bold move,
i tried something i never thought i would…

work wolf.
the nfl baller wolf.

the wolf i was interested in recently.
some other “straight” wolves i knew in my past.
they were all wolves who were straight but seemed to be curious and interested in me.
i have this thing where i can attract curious males like moths to a flame,
but because i’m so worried about being “wrong”,
i kept a respectful line.
it might have made them think i wasn’t interested even though i was.
i had a dream last night about ^that situation above with a past wolf i mentioned,
but i had to wonder

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george floyd had an alleged porn past (and?)

people have sex.
don’t tell our parents!
everyone has a past.
i don’t care who you are.
we have all done things that might not put us in favor with an audience.
george floyd had a past.
from what i read,
he had just moved from houston to minneapolis in 2014 for work.
before that tho,
a foxholer sent me a video of a stint on “the habib show” and well…
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