Hooked, Lined, and Crushed

tumblr_n8sltuTsp41sjnivto1_500god has a funny sense of humor.
he can also be SUCCCCHHH an asshole as well.
god,
the universe,
or whatever you believe in.
“your prototype” will be placed in your life.
your “straight” prototype.
well maybe.
he hooked,
lined,
and reeled you in with “something”.
its not like we have a lot of choices within this world.
this life we live isn’t exactly a dating mecca.
we aren’t vixens where they can get it easier.
we have to cross our fingers on hook ups and fast life styles.
ultimately between the random booty calls,
this “prototype” still has a special place in your heart.
even if you only see him for a few seconds,
it feels like a million moments.
yes my friend.
you crushed with your emotions.
the most dangerous way to “crush”.
i had to wonder…

…and how exactly do you stop that?

i feel like i have crushed on a ton of “ain’t shit” straight wolves.
ive accepted that if they did end up “being”,
we would not be compatible.
they are always:

fine
body is amazing
low key
smooth
wolf swagg
intense sexual attraction
created a fantasy of a perfect situation between us
=

Luftwaffe_dropping_bombshooked,
lined,
and reeled me in somewhere.
caught up heavy thinking/jackin off to them.
always attract the same type it seems.

“aint shit”

i found out today that the wolf that ( x brushed up against me ),
well he is talking to liar liar.
on the low.
they aren’t even “talking” per say.
“sextin’ to might be later fuckin”.
she is dating that mail room supervisor.
he has a vixen outside of work.
they been talking for a while.
i felt like an idiot.

“how is an idiot suppose to feel?”
“like jamari fox!”

tumblr_mcs8h31wm11qkrirro1_500i don’t know why i felt sad after i heard.

oh i know!

my dumb ass crushed on him with my emotions.
even tho bisexuality is a “thing”,
and down low wolves do mess with vixens,
i felt i needed not to keep my hopes up.
i needed to let that go.
its definitely not going anywhere.
i just don’t know how.

i don’t do “always on the gay scene”.
“so down low you can’t even breathe” is high school.
i feel like god always puts the same type of wolf in my life.
god,
the universe,
or whatever you believe in.
he never puts the sexy discreet wolf who is aggressive.
the one who will pursue me.
like pepe lepew and that cat.
i’m always the fox chasing the wolf.

47for once,
i want to be chased.
i want someone to make me stop feeling invisible.
i want a wolf to get hooked,
lined,
and reeled in by me.
this life ain’t easy.
its not like we have many options.
so we get hooked with the hope we won’t get crushed.
everyone wants love and companionship,
and it sucks this life makes it so hard to achieve it.
it also sucks that god can be SUCCCCCHHHHHH an asshole.
no offense god.
you tried it real heavy on more than a few occasions.
i pray that one day that same god,
or whatever you believe in,
will turn our luck around before its too late.

cue up the song that fits this perfectly:

*change “girl” to “fox”.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

20 thoughts on “Hooked, Lined, and Crushed

  1. I remember the crotch thing. Someone had commented it was probably set up by Liar Liar and I wouldn’t be surprised. Stuff like this almost confirms it. Be careful at that job, you were probably being set up to be fired or outed at work.

    As for the crushing thing, I know what you mean. You aren’t alone, you see someone your attracted to but never approach them and imagine scenarios. Something we all do. Then the person of your attraction does certain things and gives you signs. Honestly, if they’re playing games and having you trying to translate signs then it’s not worth your time. Just keep it moving .Maybe you step out of your comfort zone and try something different? You might surprise yourself.

      1. ^Jamari, I feel the same. I play it cool and my eyes are always watching. There’s someone I believe is interested in me, and I’m feeling him…but there’s hesitation. I don’t think either of us wants to put it out there that we’re interested and/or admit to the other we’re into dudes. LOL
        Cue my song:
        http://youtu.be/OHujYoRmaaY

  2. You just have to let go and let God to some extent. It seems like you are always on the pursuit of the wolf in your dreams to the point where every time so see a guy like that you want chomp. You just have to let things happen and only try to cross bridges when you get there. I mean I crush a lot, but I know how to accept whether certain relationships are meant to be or not. Just be patient let god’s plan work out and you’ll be ok.

    1. ^i’m patient.
      well learning to be.
      its just disappointing sometimes.
      i feel like invisible most days out here.
      like no one even looks at me.
      i want to feel “seen” by wolves,
      if that makes any sense.

  3. Awww boooo that sucks. I know how it feels when you come in contact with a wolf who’s your type but he straight(most of the fine ones are) just like you said chasing after these dream wolfs who are straight is tiring and frustrating. I agree with the other comments let these wolves come after you. My crush at school who’s super fine and straight came to me and I didn’t see it coming anywhere. So kid works in mysterious ways. Keep your head up.

  4. lol the thought of him messing with liar liar is a turn off huh? I understand where you’re coming from. And thanks for calling God an asshole. I thought I was the only one who thinks like that.

  5. You must be reading my mind because I just had a similar conversation with my roommate last night. I always chase after the pretty boys or the ones I’m really physically attracted to and I always get hurt in the process! Funny things is the ones you want me i’m not attracted to at all. It’s hard dating in this gay world. You’re pretty much invisible to ones you like and ones you don’t want you can’t get away from them 🙁

  6. I do not necessarily believe all the chasing should be up to us. The issue is that a lot of dudes in the life cannot read signs properly. Then y’all want to put the blame on straight men as if they did something wrong, which they didn’t. I have repeatedly said not to read into small stuff, but yet some continue to do it. I know when a man wants me because it’s obvious, and I’m not an exception. Men will let it be known when they are interested in you beyond friendship. Dating in this life is a two way street, and it is not the same as a male and female relationships. Everyone has to work for what they want. You have to take chances and place all your chips on the table. Life is too short to wait forever.

    There is a dude I’m feeling now, but this one is different. I peeped him a few times a long while back, but I never was really that serious about him until he walked in one of my classes at the start of this semester. I was uncomfortable af because he is just….gorgeous. Well, y’all know I can search through the net really well, so I managed to I track down all of his social media pages without much effort. I popped a bag of popcorn and got cozy while I rummaged through his Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook etc lol. The good news is that I know he likes men, not even a question, so the guessing game is not a factor. I didn’t need that headache man. He is really standoffish and quiet, and getting his attention will be a challenge, but I’m up for it. I got my big draws on this time lol.

  7. Im speaking for myself and maybe a lot of gay dudes, I think deep down we get in our feelings and get upset when straight dudes dont pay us any attention. It may be in our narcissistic nature to think because gay men pay us attention we should get this attention from all men regardless of their orientation. I have been so fed up with the gay world as of late, that I rarely even want to be around gay dudes at functions and I have been only going out to straight things socially. This becomes very problematic as I see all these straight dudes I am attracted to, but I am scared to let my straight man persona down, so I end up enjoying the eye candy but frustrated at the end of the night going home by myself. As of late, all the dudes I am attracted to are straight to my knowledge, anyway if they are not straight and they do get down they never clue me in that they are looking at me. I have had no less than 4 gay dudes since the beginning of the year hit me up on social media wanting to hang out and I have declined all of them because Im not attracted to any of them. Just being honest about myself, and its shallow AF, but if Im not attracted to you physically, I just cant muster up the energy to really get to know you as a person and know your good qualities. I know I am not alone in this, but I know many people probably dont want to admit this shitty quality about themselves either. If you are attracted to masculine dudes, you are going to be hard pressed to find a gay one who everybody else is not already after or already in a relationship. So its only natural that we would be attracted to straight dudes because they fit that ideal of what we think we want and are looking for. I guess if we paid attention to more than body and looks we would see that vixens put up with so much shit from them that we wouldnt want them either LOL.

  8. 90% of gay men have that shitty quality and that’s why they miss out.

    Then they want to complain about how they don’t trust any of their friends. If you choose the people around you based on shallow qualities you deserve whatever psychos or hell you brought upon yourself.

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