f0xmail: In or Out? Are The Bottoms The Only Ones Coming Out?


Hello Jamari,

It has been a long time since I last emailed you. I have been so busy that I do not get that much time to read your blog as much as I would like. I noticed that you are now in FL for what may be a new chapter in your life. I hope that everything works out for you.
I was wondering if you would be interested in posting this “situation” to see how the foxhole reacts.  Here goes…
I really don’t care for how society defines “bottoms” and “tops,” but for the sake of the conversation, I will use the terms. 
Relationship aside, do you think that a masculine man is more susceptible to coming out if he is a bottom as opposed to one who is a top?  


well hello long lost reader of mine!
fl is nice,
but ummerrah…
i’ll be back in the city pretty soon.

tumblr_m35bzqWhkQ1ruw33do1_500as far as your question,
ANYONE can “come out”,
especially if they think they’ve found someone they want to spend the rest of their life with.
currently i’m not out,
but i live a discreet life.
i have no desire to come out to the world right now.
i’ve been with wolves who were deep in the closet,
but i noticed they were all are looking for someone to feel comfortable with.
sadly most of them were idiots,
but if i was looking to come out and was legit dating them,
i’m sure it wouldn’t have been hard to do.

as far as wolves and foxes and who would be easier,
i mean,
just look at ( x rhodes-gate ) a few months ago.
that scandal will always be in the “gay history books”.
he is a wolf,
in the sports industry,
but was allegedly living in a glass closest with that motor mouth queen.
rumor has it,
kerry didn’t even care and was pretty happy.
bought the bitch anything he wanted.
i can’t even with this story anymore…

fyfjvmanyway i’ve been hit up by foxes who are in relationships with wolves,
most in the industry/some kind of title,
and they are living a “glass closet” kind of thing.
working as the help and also the role as “husband”.
some are deep in the closet.
others came out to close friends and family.
not everything has to be this big announcement on social media,
with a potential reality show,
and his and his cologne deal.
i mean,
if that’s what you want…

so in a nutshell,
everyone is different and it all depends where they’re at in life.

no roles,
and cartoon characters are not susceptible.
hope that helps.
any thoughts?


Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

3 thoughts on “f0xmail: In or Out? Are The Bottoms The Only Ones Coming Out?”

  1. I don’t care for labels either, but I think it might be easier for a masculine bottom to come out because I feel that you are probably more invested in the gay lifestyle if you let a man penetrate you. On the other hand, a top is stereotyped as more of a man because he does the penetrating, so they may have to deal with people challenging his “gayness” or trying to change him. It just seems like if your gay and a bottom people can just accept that and move on more easily than if you are a top. I’m not sure if I got my point across very well, but I do think bottoms are more likely to come out of the closet than tops.

  2. Maybe tops are out but people assume they’re not gay because they act masculine.A lot of bottoms are feminine or have limp wrist and loud effeminate sounding voices so maybe people assume they’re out.

    I remember I was on this one website and this fem Lesbian couple said that everybody assumes they’re really good friends and not girlfriends but when one lesbian is butch and the other fem, everybody knows they’re a couple.

  3. I do not think it matters. I believe coming out is a process, and one’s mindset depends on whether they come out or not. Top, bottom, and versatile are just bedroom positions.

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