Shawn Mendes admitted recently he is still trying to figure his sexuality out.

i get it.
there was a point where i was in the prison of the struggle.
in a few ways,
i still struggle.
sometimes,
i think many gay folks forget what the stuggle was/is like.
before we became “yassified” and hungry little animals for cum,
there was a fearful place of “nah i’m good” to anything remotely gay.
i’ll never forget…

How scared I was to go to a gay club…
in a completely different state than the one I lived in.

i was petrified that one of the straight jackals from my past,
or one of their friends,
would see me and proceed to tell everyone they were right.

“Jamari Fox is,
indeed,
a f@gg@t!”

that would be their words and probably address me as that now.

i’ll also never forget how i held myself back:

By not wanting to be seen around anyone that was gay.

again,
i experienced so much trauma with my sexuality,
having it weaponized against me,
that it made me paranoid.
it was no way to live.

Thank God I didn’t go as far as trying to date vixens.

…but i was creeping in the shadows with DL wolves who were just as paranoid as i was.
even though the sneaking around aspect was fun:

It is actually not fun when you’re insecure and scared of your own shadow.

you’re also giving mixed signals to others who are interested.
i can admit i missed out on some good ‘n’ wolves or even better dick.

so it takes a second,
minute,
or hours for many of us.

I think when we are made to feel safe,
it helps the process go by smoothly.

i can’t imagine what its like for someone in the spotlight.
another thing i can’t imagine is:

What its like for someone that presents as masculine,
who is in the den of the straights,
and has to live in a prison of shame while proving straightness.

they needed the “us” now to remember what it was like in many of our lives back then.
when we didn’t have anyone to turn to and needed “us” now to be that shoulder.
sending love to all those in the prison of struggle.

lowkey: fuck around and shawn comes out as a full wolf slayer.
it be dem ones we underestimate who strictly slang dick like no other.

read about shawn mendes: here